I can't breastfeed anymore?

Question

My baby is 5 weeks old and I am stopping breastfeeding. She seems like she is still hungry after I breastfeed so I have been supplementing and now my milk supply has lessened. I breastfed my son for 16 months and that was so difficult and I just don't want to go through that again, especially with a toddler to take care of also. Another reason is that it is causing my son to get jealous when he sees me breastfeeding her. I also don't get to sleep durirng the day and now because of breastfeeding I can't sleep at night, with the formula feeding I can allow my husband to feed her while I sleep. I know I can pump but that leaves me with no hands free for 20-30 minutes at a time and I have to keep an eye on my son.
The issue is I feel terribly guilty, wondering if she will be unhealthy because I am stopping so soon. Does anyone know if she is going to benefit enough from only 5-6 weeks of breastfeeding?

Something I forgot to mention, since I need to give her atleast a little formula to supplement I think doing both has caused her confusion and stomach problems, that's another reason I think I should stop.

Answer 1

I only have on child, but I think breastfeeding would be easier. Like you I quit breastfeeding thinking that it would be easier, but it isn't. You have to warm up the formula, wash all those bottles, find the right formula that doesn't make your baby sick, find a bottle that doesn't make your baby sick. I don't know what you are going through, but try to stick with the breastmilk as long as you can.

Answer 2

Your child is most likely having stomach issues not because of confusion but because the stomach is actually having to get used to swithing from natural to formula.

Any amount of breastfeading is better than none at all and I know people who have never breastfed and there babies have turned into completely healthy children.

If watching your son is an issue I would suggest asking your husband to watch the little one while you take a couple of hours to just have a "pumping session" and store as much as possible for later.

As someone else already suggested I would visit an breastfeading specialist (which I have done in the past). Your baby might not have a proper latch and a specialist can also inform you of different ways to multiply your supply of milk.

When I started back to work my supply lessened and then I became sick with the flu and it dried all together. I was dry for 10 days and my specialist showed me how to start it back up again.

A good way to multiply or start back up again is by massaging and using your pump every two hours. During feedings use your pump on the breast that is not being used. This is telling your body that more is needed and most often your body will meet those demand. It can take time and patience.

Again if your body is unable to meet the demands there are supplements that can be given by your doctor to increase lactation. Alot of people do not know that but that was going to be my next option after getting sick.

If decide to switch to straight formula there are vitamin drops that you can give infants that are NOT breastfeading. These are over the counter and they provide traditional nutrients to babies that are not breastfeading. Also sometimes you have to switch formulas. When my child started daycare we were doing both breastfeading and formula (Infimil). It seemed as though he had the stomach issues so I switched to Infimil Prosobee which is a Soy formula. No more stomach issues.

You should do whats best for you and your child and remember that there are different healthy alternatives if you choose not to breastfeed that can benefit your child. Definitly consult a specialist.

Enjoy your little ones!

Answer 3

Any breastfeeding is beneficial.

For me, however, I wouldn't stop. Yes, it's hard, and yes there are issues that go with it, but it is such a positive thing for the baby that I would forgo what I wanted and do what was best for her.

AFA her being hungry after you're done feeding her, it's very likely she's having a growth spurt. If you allowed her to continue to nurse, even if not much was coming out, your body would react and create more milk within 12 hours. Nature's amazing that way. What your baby needs, your baby gets (assuming you have normal milk supply - and if you don't, there are medications that can assist in better production - some natural and some prescribed).

I would be *very* sure if I were you that I was ready to end this relationship (because it *is* a relationship). I hated pumping too, but I knew it was what was best.

Please understand I'm not bashing you for wanting to quit. I just hope you'll really consider what's going on, rather than getting caught up 5 weeks postpartum with the adjustment of adding another family member and doubling your responsibilities.

Truthfully? BF'ing is far easier than formula feeding. Why spend time wandering to the kitchen at any given hour, getting a bottle, filling it with milk then warming it, all the time the baby's screaming because it's hungry when you can jet into the room and satisfy her immediately?

I would give it a few more weeks. Your life will have calmed down by then. You can have your son "read" to the baby while you nurse her. Have him get one of his shape or letter books and read to you and her while you nurse.

Many women have pumped with a small child to take care of. It's not impossible ;)

I wish you the best.

Answer 4

It seems as if the actual question is not whether to continue to breastfeed, b/c you have already decided to stop, but will your daughter be healthy b/c of the amount of time you breastfeed. So I will try to answer that question.

As a breastfeeding mother of a 10 month old I remember how hard it was in the first few weeks and I can only imagine how hard it would be w/an older child that is jealous, all while being dead tired. If you are hating breastfeeding and sleepy, stop, just know that even 1 nursing session is better for baby than absolutely no breastmilk at all. I think that even though breastmilk is natures perfect food, in my humble opinion, breastfed babies are "smarter" and "healthier" because the education level of the mother is higher (in most cases) causing her to make better decisions to ensure the childs safety and well being. Definitely try to get some sleep and read up on ways to keep your child safe and healthy even without breastfeeding. If baby has had 5 weeks of breastmilk she is "healthier" than if she had no breastmilk at all. Guilt is a mother's load, don't let it overtake you. You are doing the best you can!

Answer 5

Contact a LLL Leader or the Lactation Consultant at your hospital. There are things that you can do to rescue your supply and save your breastfeeding relationship. Maybe talking to other moms of more than one would help you figure out how to balance breastfeeding and caring for your older child.

Of course your child will benefit from the time that you have nursed, but the longer you nurse, the more benefits you and your daughter will get.

Breastfeeding isn't what causes your son to get jealous, most likely. You're going to have similar issues no matter what. He is adjusting to being a big brother and there being a new baby in the house who gets lots of attention. He is going through a huge adjustment and he is going to have some problems and some jealousy issues no matter how you feed the baby. You CAN pay attention to him while you nurse. (Nursing takes one hand to hold the baby! Bottlefeeding takes one for the baby and one for the bottle!) Have him bring you a book to read. Play puppets with him while you nurse. (Make some with old socks or gloves if you don't have any.) Set up a table for him next to where you nurse so he can color or play playdough or do puzzles within arms reach so you can help. Sings songs with him. Have him hold a piece of paper on a clipboard in his lap beside you and you can draw together. Let him play "hide and seek" with little actions figures or small plastic guys around you while you are nursing. There are TONS of ways to amuse an older sibling while nursing the baby.

You can also make him feel important to help head off some of the jealousy. Have him help with baby if he wants...fetch a diaper or burp cloth or bib. Pick out her outfit for the day. Let him play peek-a-boo or sing to baby while you change her. Have him wind her mobile for her. Let him cuddle with the two of you with your arm around him while baby nurses. He can even lay across your lap behind her in a group hug.

Sit in the floor with you back against the couch/wall/bed to play with your older child and nurse at the same time. You can play board games or build blocks and such this way.

Work on your supply. The more you nurse and/or pump, the more milk you will make. The more supplementing you do, the less you will make. It's all supply and demand. You have to tell your body to make more milk. At 5 weeks old, you should be nursing about every 2-3 hours around the clock with maybe one longer (4-5 hour) stretch of sleep. There are also herbs you can take such as fenugreek to boost supply. And some moms report that eating oatmeal every day seems to boost their supply.

If you aren't getting enough sleep, try cosleeping. You can also try to get the kids naps synconized and take a nap when they do each day. Have "quiet time" in the afternoon for your son if you need to. Get baby asleep for a while and you and your son cuddle and watch a show together. This can help you rest and let him have some one-on-one time.

Wear the baby in a sling. You can nurse and be mobile and take care of your older child and get housework done.

You CAN make this work if you really want to.

Answer 6

If you're worried about your milk supply, it will pick up if you breastfeed more; it adjusts itself based on supply and demand. Whether or not to continue breastfeeding is a really hard decision because you know that the benefits are substantial--not only for your baby's health now but also for future health and even her IQ. But the basic need for sleep is all-important because otherwise you cannot function. If you do decide to continue, explain to your son that you breastfed him for 16 months and plan to do the same for your daughter. He might then understand that it's fair. Also, as other people point out, support is critical. La Leche League meetings are great, and there's nothing like a community surrounding you with positive support. But if you really cannot go on with it, know that you did the best you could. Hey, it's all part of being a mom--we're not perfect women; we're women doing the best we can. Good luck!

Answer 7

I'm pretty sure babies get the bulk of your immunities and really good stuff from your breast milk within the first few weeks, but check with your OB or pediatrician. I totally know where your guilt is coming from. I had babies 12 months apart and didn't even attempt with the second for all the same reasons you listed. I felt for a few months that something was missing, it took longer to get that bonded feeling, but eventually it came. I don't think she was any less healthy than my son. I still think if I made the right decision but I couldn't imagine trying to breastfeed with a 12 month old who was learning to walk and needing a lot of attention. I know (10 years later) feel I made the right choice. At least you stuck it out for these five weeks. Also if you are switching from the breast to the bottle and back you might be confusing her and making it more difficult. It might be better for the baby to make a choice. Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

Actually I went through the same thing and I can tell you that it will not make that big a difference because the one I breast feed for two months was healthier then the bottle feed one. my doctor made me stop due to the fact that I was so young and when I started it I didn't do it correctly so I had blood where it shouldn't of been and he was concerned about my child suckling at that point he said a month was enough to get the baby started in a healthy way. I think you have some real concerns and if your tired all the time you are no good to either child.Put them on the bottle and don't feel guilty because there are women out there with no excuse who haven't come close to giving as much as you have to date good luck I wish you well.

Answer 9

You should talk to your pediatrician/OBGYN first. I suggest that you take a breast feeding class before you decide to stop. She might not be latching correctly.
I wouldn't just give up on a whim.
There are numerous benefits to breastfeeding, for instance, breast feeding gives her some of your antibodies so that she can fight illness. Breast fed babies have a lower risk of ear infections b/c of the way they suck. Although formula is a reasonable substitute, it's not a 'good' as breast milk.
Just a suggestion...but I'd talk to an expert before giving up.

I am not an expert, but to my understanding, your pediatrician should be monitoring her weight. If she is not loosing weight, then it would appear that she's fine.

Sounds to me that your problem is not necessarily the fact that your milk has lessened, but the fact that you don't want to breast feed. Sounds like you're using your son as an excuse to take the easy route as opposed to doing the 'right thing' for your baby. No one said being a mom was easy...you just do it b/c you love your children.

Answer 10

Breast milk is beast....but there is nothing wrong with formula either, it doesn;t make you a bad Mom. Breast feeding is difficult and frustrating at times but once you get the hang of it and your milk comes in it is SOOOO rewarding for both you and the baby...the bond is so great between a mother and breast fed child. I almost quit 3 times i was at my wits end!!! Somtimes breast feeding just doesn't work out and that is ok. I tried with my first so, but i had too many complications from giving birth to continue ( i was stressed and in pain so my milk wasn't coming through properly) but i was able to breast feed my second son...as exhausting as it is ...it is also just as rewarding.. Good Luck!!!