Should I rat out my husband?

Question

My husband's work only consists of three people in the entire department.He and his supervisor do not like the other girl in the office because she doesnt always agree with them and makes suggestion on how to better the department.They have started making things up to try and get her fired.They erase her voice mail messages so it looks as if she is incompetent.They hide and watch her to see what time she comes in and what time she leaves.They completely fabricate lies about her then they back each other up so it looks like the truth.I dont know what has gotten into my husband this is so unlike him he is usually such a sweet soul.I think this is so mean and I want to know if I should go to the "BIG BOSS" and tell him what is going on.Would this be a mistake?I feel that even if he loses his job at least he lost his for a reason, his co-worker is going to lose hers for nothing.I think him and the supervisor need to be put in their places?WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I have spoken to my husband and he said if she doesnt like it then maybe she should find another job or shutup and play their way!

Many of you think that it is how he feels about wome...his supervisor who is doing this with him is a woman.. so it isnt a woman thing!

Answer 1

I'm looking at this from the practicle side or your position in this and your well being ,,,, not so much his ,,,, Personally I think he's a jerk ,,,, How much do you love your husband and being married to him ?,,,, This entire answer might seem cold and sound heartless but life is hard at best ,,,, I think that maybe you ought to leave your husbands job situation to him ,,,,, Ruining his reputation or informing on him to his superiors is only going to require you getting a job if you don't already have one and supporting him until he finds other work ,,,, if in fact ,,,,he's still around after all the fire works are over and the dust settles down ,,,, If he's confided in you and you think it unfair,,,, then tell him that you don't want to hear about his affairs at the office or what ever it is anymore ,,,, Don't betray him ,,,, A job is security and playing with his security is also playing with yours not to mention the stability of your marriage ,,,,There are some red flags here ,,,, Leave sleeping dogs lay ,,,, Don't stir the pool it might make the water muddy ,,,,, I don't know your husband or what he's like or how he is but I'm thinking that if you want to maintain your marriage then you'd better think about what you are contemplating from ALL angles before you make a move ,,,, It might go against your grain about what he's doing but your first loyalty is to him not to some stranger ,,,, I mean is this girl they are picking on a relative or something ? ,,,, She was looking for a job when she found that one ,,,, If she was clever enough to find that one then she's clever enough to find another one ,,,, And besides another angle is that what goes around usually comes around ,,,, Who knows maybe later your husband will wind up paying for his sins some other way but what ever way that is you will not be implicated in it and your marriage remains in tact ,,,, But then again who knows ,,,, I don't know you and you might be ready to separate yourself ,,,,, There are all kinds of options here ,,,, Just be ready to live with anything you choose to do ,,,,, Good luck ,,,,, Yoda told you that

Answer 2

I would try to tell the girl before I would tell the big boss. Even if he is being a jerk, he is still your husband and if it got out that you went behind his back to his boss, that could ruin your marriage for a long time.

Also, it really is not your place to say anything. Yes it is horrible, and if I was the boss I would fire your husband in a second. But you are not an employee of this company, it is not your place to set the moral standards for a place you don't even work at. The boss may not even listen to you, because you are the guy's wife, he might think you are just messing with him because you are mad at your husband.

I would tell the girl to keep an eye out, maybe hint at what is going on. Just kind of guide her to figuring out on her own what they are doing.

Answer 3

Normally I would say leave it alone but not this time. Someone's job is on the line now. To deliberately do things to make someone look bad is wrong. Not only that but how someone acts at work is generally a reflection of their home life. He may be telling you some lies at home. Tell the boss but be ready for your husband to give you some grief if he finds out. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well it seems you are married to a scumbag. You should let him know in no uncertain terms that this is not how people in your life treat other people. For any reason! Lying and cheating to destroy someones job is despicable. It will impact their life and ability to work forever and why, because he is being an old buddy jerk.
You should not get him fired for it, you should put your foot down and throw his butt out for it. This is not the action of a person with an ounce of ethics. Do you want to be associated with anyone who does this? I think not. This indicates that both these guys are in fear of her doing a better job and making them look bad.
They are making themselves look bad in the process.

A little aside regarding the business law in this country. If she does in fact gets demoted, reassigned or fired because of their being jerks it will be way fun for them right up to the point that the lawsuit comes down for wrongful termination. She could easily make the case for sexual discrimination. Were I their employer and found out that they were pulling crap like that they would be gone before the end of the day. There is no way that I would allow a couple of immature jerkoffs to put my company in that kind of legal liability. That being said, guess who the liability falls on. Does your high school boy husband have the werewithal to defend himself in litigation arising from this stupidity? I know that there are few company owners who would look the other way and defend them for such stupidity. All this WHY, because they don't like her? They need to grow up and do it quickly.

There is a whole other undercurrent here regarding the fact that the company hired this woman and their efforts are getting in the way of the smooth operation and mission of the organization.
All of these things are grounds for their dismissals. Its past time for them to stop.

You have my deepest sympathy having to deal with the stupid child as husband.

Answer 5

I think you should do what feels right. You know what your husband is doing is wrong. I also think you should inform your husband that you are "telling" on him. Ask the "BIG BOSS" to forgive him, and keep in mind the girl is on the right track. DO NOT listen to your husband when he says he will change his ways. You must go right ahead and do what you feel is right. Morality comes before feelings. In the end, you should be happier, and if your husband learns from his mistakes, so should he. Do what YOU,not your husband or anyone else, feel is right.

Answer 6

Remind your husband he better be careful what he does. What goes around comes around and someday someone may do him dirty. Tell him his actions are causing you to lose all respect for him, he has nothing better to do than worry about what someone else is doing? He needs to watch his own back, he never knows who's standing behind him ready to plunge in that knife. For all he knows, the Big Boss is watching him and his supervisor alot more than they think. If his female coworker was smart, she would inform the Big Boss herself.

Answer 7

I think you should sit down and have a serious talk with him and explain the repercussions he could experience if he gets caught for lying on this person, b/c even if she gets let go she could fight this and he could get in even more trouble then he could for just getting her fired. I also think that if he continues you should say something only if you know for sure this girl is a good worker. But I'd try to talk to your husband first

Answer 8

That's terrible! Have you tried talking to your husband directly about the situation? And why that's so bad to do to someone? What goes around comes around, and if he continues to treat people like that, he'll get it. I would feel like something had to be done too, but man, going directly to your husband's boss will open a can of worms for you, big time. Maybe you can try sending an anonymous letter to his boss somehow, or to her, letting her in on what's going on.

Answer 9

Your husband is an extremely immature man. Personally, I’d tell him to cut it out or I was going to report it to both the big boss and the co-worker. But, there’s a good chance hubby's just going to get pissed at you for spoiling his fun, so be prepared to deal with that.

Answer 10

Have you talked to you husband about this. If that didn't work then yes something needs to be done. I would go over his head cause you are right they need to be put in there place. What they are going is awful. If talking to him does work then yes you should go over his head. If you don't your sweet soul is going to get a lot worse and there is a chance that it will not stay in the office.