What is SEXSOMNAMBULISM?

Answer 1

Translate as "Sex Sleep Walking".

There's no such thing, though.

Answer 2

Asleep in the sack
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by Vince Darcangelo ([e-mail])

Forgive the B-dub if I'm a bit cynical when an Australian medical researcher, Dr. Peter Buchanan, recently attempted to have a condition he termed "sleep sex" listed as an official sleep disorder.

What is sleep sex? It's a randy form of somnambulism that causes one to leave home during the night and have sex with random strangers in one's sleep.

!@#%!

Are you serious? Sleep sex? It sounds to me like Dr. Buchanan simply got caught sneaking in through the window with his pants down.

"I swear, I wasn't cheating, honey. I was sleeping. I, uh, uh, wait a minute, where am I? What's happening to me? I must have some sort of disorder. Yes, that must be it. I never would have slept with that waitress if I'd been conscious. I was simply having sleep sex!"

Yeah, a sleep disorder that makes you leave the house and have sex with strangers. Come on, Dr. Buchanan. Getting strangers to have sex with you can be difficult enough in a fully conscious state with all of your faculties and best lines at your disposal. The only way you're getting any in your sleep is if a curiously placed pillow is somehow involved.

However, judging from the recent performance of many NFL teams—notably those in the NFC, perhaps Dr. Buchanan is onto something. Teams like the Saints and Cardinals and 49ers don't actually suck. They suffer from a disorder known as "sleep football," a sports-related form of narcolepsy that causes players to fall asleep in the locker room, then, while still sleeping, put on their uniforms, take the field and attempt to play football. Anyone who suffered through Thanksgiving's Bears/Cowboys stinker would have no trouble believing that both squads were actually napping on the 50-yard line.

Dallas v. SEATTLE

Sadly, the not-ready-for-primetime Cowboys have another nationally televised game this week, taking on the schizophrenic Seahawks in the Pacific Northwest. Hopefully the Bean City will inject these sluggish squads with some high-octane espresso prior to kickoff. Otherwise, it's going to take another sexy opening vignette to keep Monday Night Football viewers from falling asleep. As if anyone cares, the enigmatic Seahawks will win.

CAROLINA v. New Orleans

Here's another stink-fest, this time courtesy of the NFC South. But while the outcome will be of little consequence, as both teams are realistically out of playoff contention, this game should provide excitement to fans of psychotic episodes everywhere—thanks to insane Saints' quarterback Aaron Brooks. Brooks, who appears to be suffering from a dissociative disorder rather than a sleep disorder, has made some of the most bizarre plays in NFL history this year, for example tossing the ball to an opponent from his own end zone a few weeks ago. Of course, no play was more mind-boggling then Brooks' scramble against the San Diego Chargers in November when, under pressure, he inexplicably threw a pass to teammate Wayne Gandy. The problem? Gandy is an offensive lineman—and he was 10 yards behind the line of scrimmage! He's not allowed to catch a pass. And even if he did catch the ill-conceived toss, what the hell was he going to do with it? Gandy did a double take when he saw the pigskin tumbling his way. Then he just stared incredulously at his confused quarterback.

Brooks is this year's NFL equivalent of MLB's Manny Ramirez without the winning record and the NBA's Ron Artest without the psychopathic temper. He's totally insane. Likewise, he's fun to watch, because you never know what he'll do next.

But looking at the larger picture, sure, Brooks is crazy. But is he as crazy as Dr. Buchanan's notion of macking for sex

Answer 3

You having those ****** dreams again eh?

Answer 4

hey,Pedro, I thought it was while you're sleeping...

Answer 5

when you want to have sex while youre slipping...