How Do I Deal With My Wife's Jealous Issues?

Question

Ever since I lost weight (I lost 100 pounds by working out, eating right, etc) people started telling me I look great and I look more attractive, which makes me feel good. The problem is that my wife can't handle it when people give me compliments since she wasn't used to it when I was obese. My wife is already an attractive woman and she's used to people giving her compliments and men whistling at her or what have you. Now that I'm on the same level as her, she's gotten more competitive and trying to sabatoge my diet and lifestyle so I can be "fat" again. I love my wife and I tried to talk to her but she gets defensive. I don't like the way she's behaving. What Do I Do???

I don't flirt with other women. I respect my wife too much for that.

Answer 1

I dont think there is a cure for that. I have been with my boyfriend for about three months and i hate to be sooooo jealous but i am. Some chicks are and some arent you just feel in love with someone who is the jealous type. Sory you no woman like us cant live with us cant live without us

Answer 2

When your wife receives those compliments ; how does she react? Does she politely say "thank you"? Does she flirt with them and encourage them?

It may not be the fact that you are receiving attention but the way that you are handling the attention.
It is one thing for her to hear someone give you a compliment but if you run home with a report every time someone does do it then that could be instilling in her a sense of insecurity.

Attitude plays a strong part in her reactions. You must do all you can to reassure her of your feelings for her. Let her know that you still feel the same about her as you did before you lost the weight. Perhaps get her a special necklace to wear to remind her.

Otherwise, be sure you don't feed her jealousy by trying to make her jealous. This will only make her feel more insecure.
It can only be a competition if you let it be.

Answer 3

If your wife really loves you, she will not try to sabotage your healthy lifestyle, just to keep other women from giving you compliments. I think you have to find a way to communicate with her, and get her to listen instead of getting defensive. Maybe if you use more phrases like "I feel upset that you are not happy I am trying to stay healthy." Or..."I love you so much I want to make sure I am around for a long time, so I wish you could be happy for my healthier lifestyle, and not worry. You're the only one for me" Try not to say things like "you're jealous" or other accusations, which will probably make her put up the wall of defense again.

Answer 4

Congrats on losing the weight! When your wife is around and someone gives you a compliment, ttell them that you owe everything about your weight loss to your wife and it is she that deserves the credit (even if she doesn't). In the mean time, stick to your dietary guns. Reassure your wife that you love her through "thick and thin" so to speak. Whatever you do don't flirt - OK? BTW, find a new job where you don't work with strippers. Good Luck

Answer 5

Hi,
Congrads on the weight loss. Firstly she is jelous. To be honest all us females get like that. Like you said she's not used to you getting all the attention. She has to put herself in your shoes. You've had to put up with her getting all the camments in the past, now it's your turn. You have worked so hard for this you really deserve it. The only thing that I can really sugguest is telling her that you had to put up with the samething and assure her that you love her and would never do anything that would hurt her. That's why you married her. She will soon understand that she is being a bit silly. Don't worry to much about it. She will get over it. Good luck and keep up the excellent work!

Answer 6

Sit down and have a serious talk with her explain that partly you knew that it was a not a good thing that you were heavy and you needed to do something about it but that you are not trying to find someone else or sabotage her. Explain to her that it really upsets you that she gets so defensive and it has to stop because it is causing more problems. Maybe try counselling just to get over this hurdle.

Answer 7

There's nothing you can do. This is her problem, not yours. Great job on losing all that weight, by the way!! Congrats! Just accept the compliments graciously, stick to your diet and exercise (don't let her sabotage you). You have done a wonderful job of changing your life, don't let her steal your happiness. You should be very proud of yourself.

Answer 8

All that you can do is reassure her that she is the one that you want to be with. That and try to give her a little more attention. You wife is just afraid that you might find someone else. That someone good looking woman will come and make a pass and you won't say no. Women can be bad. She is just afraid that you will wake up and want someone else.

Answer 9

The first thing is there is now way you should go back to fatness. Its your body and you have all the rights to keep it in your way. (may be only a small part you can devote to wife. :)).
And you can always tell your wife, that you have reduced weight not for looking good or handsome, but to keep healthy, and to keep all those desease like diabetes away from you. And it is always good for childresn to have good looking parents as they want to became like their parents only.

Answer 10

Hi, wow...I bet you didn't count on that scenario when you decided to loose weight. Congratulations on your victory. As for your wife....I'm wondering if she viewed your weight as a kind of "safety net" hoping it would ensure her keeping you??? It could be that she Isn't aware of why she is doing the sabotaging, emotions don't make sense, like logic. Perhaps you could flat out tell her that you love her but you feel sabotaged. Make her think of the costs of her actions. My best to you and your wife.