Stay at home moms, do you ever have days like this?

Question

And then have someone tell you that you're SO LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK?!
Yesterday my day started at 5am. Baby's diaper leaked. Had to clean him, feed him & take care of wet crib. Then he pooped & it came out of his diaper all over his clothes. Got on his tummy, legs, hands & feet & while cleaning this up I have to try to keep his hands out of his mouth. He's teething which is KILLING me & makes me cry that he's in so much pain. I have to make 2 important phone calls while holding my finger in a cold washcloth in his mouth trying to keep him quiet while I'm on the phone. Doing the usual sterilzing water, washing bottles, making formula, feeding him from bottle & a couple jars of baby food. 2 loads of laundry & other cleaning that just can't wait. A man came to fix the furnace while I was giving the baby a bath. And then there's entertaining the baby, quality time, trying to distract him from the pain in his mouth... I could write more but don't know if people read long questions.

I'm NOT complaining about what I have to do, just the fact that someone was going on & on about how I don't have to "work"!

Answer 1

I read it all because I understand completely (and if you need to vent, consider me a willing ear)!

My day starts between 5-5:30. The baby sleeps until after my husband has gotten to work (she sleeps until between 8-9 usually). But that doesn't mean my morning isn't busy! Breakfast and lunch need to be gotten together. Once hubby is off to work, there's a dishwasher to unload or load, laundry to sort and get started, a bed to make, a bathroom to clean, a kitchen and bathrooms to sweep, bottles to make, supper to decide about (and get started on some days). All that before the baby wakes up!

Do you remember the slogan that the Army had a few years back? "We do more before 9am than most people do all day". I feel that way by about 7:30am!

Right now, I've got a sick baby, a sick husband and I'm starting to get sick myself. But see the thing about moms... we don't really get to be sick unless everyone else is settled. I can be sick from midnight to around 5am. After that, I'm on Mama patrol and sickness is not an option!!!

Now, those people who seem not to think that being a stay at home mom is work? Tell them the truth... you are working! Give them your resume... counselor, chef, maintenance woman, maid, doctor, financial director, budget planner, activities director, laundry woman, teacher, kisser of boo-boos, wiper of tears... homemaker... mama. How much busier can you get?

Answer 2

OMG, yes! You're sooo not alone! We've all had days like that - more than our share. Then the thoughtless husband comes home and comments on what a mess the house is and when's dinner going to be ready, and what have you been DOING all day anyway? Then stands there scratching his head when you burst into tears!

I had 2 in diapers with stomach flu and no washer/drier once. Then I got it, sitting on the throne, puking into the wastebasket. It was horrible! Had to be the worst day I ever had as a mom. Can't remember when I felt worse, but still had to care for the little ones. Thank God the next day the kids felt better!

People don't think. SAHM's don't get sick days, personal time, holidays or vacations. We wake up and go to bed at our job. And when we're sleeping, we're still on call. It's 24/7/365 and it's amazing how few people recognize that! I once heard Dr. Phil say that being a SAHM with young kids is equivalent to having 2 full time jobs. Yeah, and there's no shortage of overtime either!

Hang in there. Today is fresh and new and once those teeth cut through you'll have your happy little angel back. Think of all the special things you'd be missing out on if you couldn't be home with him. I mean, in the final analysis, we SAHM's really wouldn't have it any other way, right? The hardest jobs are often the most rewarding, and that couldn't ring truer for being a parent. Take a break today, you've earned it! When baby naps later, throw your feet up and damn the housework. Close your eyes for a while and relax (and don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it!). You'll feel very much better and able to cope with the stress of a teething baby easier. My little one's cutting 3 molars at once and I look forward to our nap later! Cheer up, it's Halloween! Have a happy one!

Answer 3

Its all about time managment. I think you need to step back and relax, im a stay at home mom of 4 boys, ages 7,6,5,3 and 7 weeks pregnant. Sometimes people just dont understand what we do. But thats okay. As long we you got it down, you know what your doing. Who cares what other people think! I know exactly how you feel. But just slow down and take things as they come. Nothing will ever get easier. Only harder! I do breakfast lunch and dinner dishes by hand everyday, and trust me those sinks are FULL, i do at least 5 loads or more of laundry a day, 5 loads is on a good day. We also have our own well and water system so i cannot wash whites or brights so this causes me to head to the laundry mat at least 2 times a week. I am the room mother for the kindergarden class. Which means im in charge of all of their parties, planning and carrying out. I do daycare after school for 2 little girls. I make all the meals. I do all the shopping, running, oil changes, You know im sure, I also take care of our animals, do all the house cleaning. Its all managable. Yea at times it sucks but you know what your doing and theres no greater job in the world. Just take it as you go. try to make calls when your baby is sleeping, Get him a swing and put him in there while you sit on the floor and fold the laundry in front of him. Have a talk with him. Give him a teether, put it in the freezer and give it too him when its nice and cold. Try even a washcloth in the freezer, or some orajel. Like baby orajel. That does wonders. Give him a little tylenol when hes in pain. That will help as well. You will be alright. It just takes time to get use to things! Dont worry about getting every last thing around the house done. I use to be that way and trust me, in the long run you will be worse off knowing how much time you could have spent with your little boy instead of worrying that every last thing was done. Try do housework in the evenings when daddy gets home, Goodtime for him to spend with his son. Or get him up helping you out. You arent superwomen and you will never be. So slow down and do what you can, dont over work yourself or you will just wear yourself out and wont be able to enjoy your baby like you should. Its tough i know but its worth it trust me ive been there and done it...Goodluck to you. Email me if you need to talk or vent :) GOODLUCK!

Answer 4

Yep- tell me about it! My husband and I relocated to California in May, baby was born in August, and then we had to return to our home state again in September for work! So now we are staying with his parents for 2 more weeks. I am treated like a slave here! His mom wants me to make dinner every night- but she is very particular- in to organic, healthy stuff that takes forever to make! So my day starts at around 4...baby is an early bird! Get up with him, change diapers, keep him amused, make coffee. Then around 6 I get my husband up, make him a protein shake (usually the baby is either calm or napping by now) and his lunch for the day. Also, I am starting laundry and washing the dishes from dinner the night before. My husband's parents made a rule when we got here that whoever is not cooking has to do the dishes. That was when they were still making dinners. Now that I am....I have to do the dishes and clean the kitchen too. Then maybe I will have time to eat a little something for breakfast, just in time for baby to wake up and round 2 with him starts again! More laundry, figuring out and prepping food for dinner, cleaning the house (his mom is totally anal and has a really dark, shiny surface type of house. I have to mop the wood floors and clean all the granite and stainless steel in the kitchen every day) then everyone gets home and I have to start dinner while, thankfully, my husband is taking care of the baby, who usually statrs to cry right when I am about to sit down and eat for the first time in 4 hours. I am always exhausted- but hey, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And who needs a workout? HAHA

Answer 5

well plenty of women have days like that before/after they have been at work for 8 or more hours. Everyone has bad days, whether they work or not. I work 40+ hours a week at a group home for mentally ill adults, trust me that's no picnic either! There have been times I've felt like my life is being threatened (I had a knife pulled one me once) - and that was all after my hectic moring of running around, tryign to get hubby off to work, taking care of an active lab, and trying to clean the house/do laundry/etc. If I didn't have to work, I think my life would be so much easier. If one doesn't have to work, they don't have to spend so much time driving to work, dealing with boss/coworkers, having project deadlines, etc etc etc. Not having to work is quite a blessing, I envy you women/men who are lucky enough not to have to work. Unfortunately, I don't have and probably will never have that option, I am currently the one who makes the most money.

Answer 6

ROFL.
Yes, I have had those days, and people who say "Oh, you're so lucky you don't have to work" (Actually, people, in addition to my HOME job, I also work part-time and bring the baby WITH me). Regardless, I AM lucky that I don't HAVE to work, and I can stay home with the babyand be picky about what part-time job I will take so that she can come with me. But it is certainly a job in itself. No one says to a day care worker, "You're so lucky you don't have to work". No one says to a nanny, "Wow. It must be nice to not have to work." Really, what we do is exactly the same as those paid positions, except we do it 24/7.
My husband works long hours (military), and, right now, isn't home (only for a few weeks, though). So, I bear the brunt of it. One day, I went to work, and he had the day off, so I left the baby with him. It was the first time he had the baby for more than a couple of hours alone. When I got home, his first words were, "Thank God", followed by, "I could NEVER do what you do all day." At least my husband understands what a job it is, and is always quick to relieve me when he gets home, or to give me a few hours on the weekend to myself.
I know you're not complaining; it just seems overwhelming sometimes, compounded by people implying that you have it completely easy, and, gosh golly, what are you getting stressed out about?
Chin up! Just remember that some day, you'll have gotten to be the one to see all the firsts...first smile, first giggle, first tooth, first steps. It's a lot more than a lot of people who have to leave their kids in day care, although, dang, it sure takes a lot of work in the meantime, eh?

Answer 7

I totally get it. I have to be honest. I'm normally a working mom, but I've taken two months maternity leave. I thought I was going to relax and enjoy. While I am SO enjoying being with the baby, I'm not finding time to relax. There are appointments for the older children, cleaning constantly, entertaining the baby, so many loads of laundry I'm losing it, etc. I can't seem to get caught up, and I'm here all day! It's endless work. At least when I go to work, I get to leave!!! lol

Answer 8

Don't worry about people like that say. They must not have kids or if they do they must not realize that they do. It sounds like your doing great and doing your best. Trust me, I know it's a full time job when your at home. Some people just don't understand that, they think that because you don't go outside your home to work that your not working. Being a full time mom at home is a BIG JOB too. I work and come home to cont. my second job (my kids). My husb. also works and he watches our 6mth two days out the week when his off work and trust me he don't tell me jack on how staying home with the baby is not hard work. His learning and getting fist hand on what it is to stay home with a baby. He loves his baby but he told me that it's easier to go to work then stay home with baby. Of course it's different for everyone, some babies are sleepers all day and are happy just being on their swing other require more. Mine for example since he was 2mths was a very active baby. He still don't sleep all nite, roll over at 2mths and requires someone to play with him non-stop..He will stay put in a bouncer/play pan for about 25-20min. He already is into everything. He found the outlets on the walls, goes straight to the DVD rack and loves to throw all the dvd's on the flr, loves to press every button on tv and dvd. Anyway, I know how you feel. I too have my days were I just feel very overwhelm but hand in there. Before you know he will be 15 going on 21. They grow so fast now and days.

Answer 9

I see what you are saying but you stay home. On the flip side I have to work for 9 hours a day and usually get about 3 good hours with my son before he goes to bed. So sometimes even though it sounds crazy, I would LOVE to have a day like that just because I know that I dont get much time with him. However I KNOW that being a full time mom is exhausting and can be overwhelming. And stay at home moms are very much unappreciated!!! You deserve a reward!

Good luck and hang in there! Always know that it could be worse and there is always something good even in a bad situation!

Answer 10

That doesn't sound all that bad. Wait until he starts walking and doesn't want to be hugged anymore.

I realize that I am SO LUCKY that I don't have to work! I haven't set my alarm clock for months and months. Don't have to deal with the jerks at work or the idots in traffic. I get to smell sweet soft little baby hair all day long EVERYDAY!

I get to wake up and get my little buddy out of his crib and NOT have to drop him off a daycare where he can pickup headlice, the flu, multiple colds, and behavior problems. My friend that works where I used to found out the daycare lady was leaving her 3 month old in his car seat for most of the day. Sad.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!

Oooops that's him now...