My wife and I have been seperated for about six months but still live in the same house. We sleep in different rooms and she is the one who asked for the seperation becuase she has somethings she has to figure out. we have been together for 11 years married for 2 of them. I just recently started going out with friends and returning to feel like i use to. since i have been going out i have been talking with a co worker who is attracted to me and knows a little about my situation. she just wants to hang out nothing more but i cant get past the guilt i feel for hanging out with her. I am i wrong? should i not hang out with her? My wife has told me many of times that the physical and romantic part of our relationship is done and that we are just friends. But for some reason i feel so guilty and stressed out to talk with this other woman.
2006-10-31 00:55:50 · 10 answers · asked by lost 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are in the process of finding her a roomate to move in so that i can move out. i do believe that the marriage is over it has taken me 6 months to realize this but the issues that she is having and finding out about her self and who she really is.
2006-10-31 02:28:53 · update #1
Whether your marriage is over or not, you're really not doing the co-worker any favors if you start up a relationship with her while you're still so entangled with your wife. Is she the kind of person who deserves better than that?
Cut that relationship off and give this marriage a whole hearted try so that if you do get a divorce, you can do so knowing that you tried your best. You really don't want to start a pattern of ditching relationships when things get hard and someone else starts to look attractive.
2006-10-31 01:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by Shane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't feel like that at all. It's ok to hang out with other people. Don't let your wife guilt you into feeling this way. She was the one that called for the seperation. Not you. You should not have to wait around for her when in the end she will prob end up asking for a divorce. Just look out for you and have a good time, because by the sounds of her it wil be a while.I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do. Just remember no one can tell you what to do, we can only give you advice. So do what your heart tells you!
2006-10-31 09:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty, then don't do it. I think you should put an end (like moving out and getting a divorce) before you pursue any type of relationship with anyone else. If this co-worker is for real, she'll understand that you're still tied up in a relationship and you need to end your current relationship (completely) before starting a new one. 11 years with someone is a long time. Don't jump into another relationship too quick. You need time to heal, rebuild and learn whatever lessons need to be learned from your past relationship. Good luck!
2006-10-31 10:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you at all for how you feel its perfectly normal to feel that way. I also think it shows that your a decent and kind man. I do think you should discuss this with your wife, because you are not yet divorced (u didn't mention anything about that) but you did say the romance and physical part is over. At least communicate about it, so that you don't have to feel guilty. Your wife has no right to get mad as she asked for the separation. It might also make her realize what she has to loose and whether or not your marriage is worth saving. Good luck and God bless!
2006-10-31 09:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your wife how she feels about it, then you will know. I am in a similar situation so I know how confusing this can be. If your wife isn't ready to see you with someone else (even if nothing is going on) you should respect that. If she is ready to let you go for real then she won't mind but you have to be honest.
2006-10-31 09:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by plenymo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel guilty! Until you are legally divorced, you shouldn't be hanging around anyone else. Get a divorce, get outta the house-then become "your old self" again.
2006-10-31 08:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey if your wife said its over. Then dont feel guilty. you didnt do anything wrong. Go out and have a good time.
2006-10-31 08:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by Saints friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look..... if you and your wife are offically over, then do things right thing and divorce her. then you'll be her room mate, not husband. it is wrong to date while you are married and that why your probably having these feelings. If you truely like your co worker then respect her enough to not get envolved until you are offically un-envolved with your wife.
2006-10-31 09:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by cinder_nelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for the other woman and get a divorce she is proberly already seeing someone else to
2006-10-31 08:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by momof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a divorce and live in seperate places...
You need to find a new g/f.....wife........
2006-10-31 08:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋