He did stop being phisicaly abusive since 2 yrs ago but the verbal abuse still going on until now, last nite he started pushed me (again) and i dont think i could take anymore abusive behavior from him, he also very tight in financial matter, we never have any joint account, he gave me allowance monthly but he stopped gave it to me since last August. With reason i have to fill out the new allowance budget which i refused to fill in so he decided to stop gave me the allowance. Dont get me wrong, he is a very good and responsible Father. But for 8 years with him he never asked me how do i feel, when im not well or even when my father passed away, he told me not to cry. I am only a human being sometimes i need a hug and need to be tell that all will be alright. Tell me what to do because i think this is it, i cant take it anymore, what is my right here as a wife and a mother if i wanted to end it. Pls help!!
2006-10-31 00:21:06 · 31 answers · asked by violet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to get out of this relationship now. Contact your local women's shelter and leave. Not that you don't already know this but you don't have to stand for his controlling ways let alone his abusive behavior. There are plenty of men out there that would love to take care of you and your kids. Call the police next time he threatens you or even lays a finger on you. Get out now before something bad happens to you or your kids.>
2006-10-31 00:25:51 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to get yourself and your two kids out of that situation pronto. You can take them to a shelter in or around your area. First and foremost, you need to get yourself and kids to safety. Abusive behavior is learned and if you do not remove your children from this situation, they will learn how to abuse and be abused. That is an awful way for a child to grow up. Your children's rights are to be in a safe and loving environment and even if your husband is not abusing your children directly, the abuse that he gives to you will show your children how to treat people in the future. If you do not know of any shelters, you can look them up online or give your local police department or health department a call. They will be able to help. And remember, you need to stay strong. Sometimes you will feel that you are a strong person and you can go whenever you want, but other times you will feel that you are trapped and you might as well stay, but that is not the case. Only pack what you can fit into one or two suitcases. Material things can be replaced later when you are in a better situation.
2006-10-31 08:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take this to the Lord in prayer. This is a huge decision however, I am well aware that the Lord does not agree with him treating you this way and he WILL be accountable.
I would discuss theropy with him? If he hits you again, you MUST throw him in jail. I too was in an abusive marriage, for 7 yrs and it was verbal on the verge of physical. It drained me of my self confidence and I felt scared all the time. His daily mood was the determining factor of how my day went.
I do understand...... but you gotta get out of this situation if he is unwilling to get help. You are still you. And those kids will be affected by this in a bad way. Don't be afraid. Ask the Lord for strength, I KNOW he will help you.
My heart goes out to you. God bless.
2006-10-31 08:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Take the kids are stay with family or friends until you get on your feet.
You are teaching your kids that this is how husbands act, and that it's ok with the wife. They deserve better than that, and so do you. You need to get yourself in the right frame of mind, and just do it. You're not living a normal life, and I'll bet you've been so isolated from other people that you don't even realize how bad your situation is.
Don't waste 8 more years.
2006-10-31 08:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by I saw whatudid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys ought to try out some couselling. It may or maynot help but at least its a way to start. Somehow I doubt you husband is a very reasonable man. You could take up something like praying to God - if you believe in a supreme being.
In any event, any kind of abuse if a felony and shouldnt be tolerated. Let him know you love him but would be unwilling to stand for any more ill treatment from him.
I understand that we all need hugs and reassurance from time to time, but unfortunately we dont all get what we want in life. Either you put up, be subservient, dutiful wife or go get your hugs from somewhere else.
2006-10-31 08:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by bombastic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through such hell from someone who should be treating you so much better. I understand, I've been there. It's not worth it to keep allowing him to do this to you and what's to stop him from turning on the kids? You don't want or need your kids learning this behavior from him. As a fellow mom, our first priority is our kids. They depend on us to provide the best in life that we can for them. Seek legal consultation and make a plan. If you have close family and friends that are willing to help you and the kids out with a place to stay, do it. You've been lucky so far, you're still alive. You owe it to yourself and those precious children.
2006-10-31 08:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!! There is no reason whatsoever you need to put up with any type of abuse..be it physical, verbal, emotional..
There are too many help groups out there for you to have an excuse to stay. Stop letting this man run your life. You have the right to be treated as a human. Contact your local police dept. ask them what they can do to help you with your situation. They will lead you to several help groups. Also, after you get out, please get some help for yourself and your children...don't think that this has not affected them mentally. My prayers are with you...but pack up and leave with your children. Get as far away from him as possible, have no contact with him until you find out from an attorney (the help group will assign one to you) what your rights are. If you do not have a family you can go to a home for battered and abused women. They will take in your children and they will let you stay there and help you legally, emotionally, finacially...your children will be helped as well. He will not be able to contact you there. In fact you will probably stay in a secret location that only certain people know about...this way no one knows where you are except who you want to know.
2006-10-31 09:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by Bethie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh really you stuck in the wrong place
all options are wide open but it is all yours
can you grow up your kids without father in case you ask divorce
can you live this life with less complains
you never mentioned how is he with the kids?
are they only yours?is he bad to them?are you.yourself acting well?have you tried to open up your fears with him?no argument but fruitfull discussion
does the world do not cry hurt?with no consideration for how he said it?would you say he is ok if he he asked you to cry in that occasion?was any thing he would say will be accepted?
if he ask you to fill for allowencies and you refuse would he be blamed for stopping allowencies
and as long as you did not tell us why you refused so you have no reason to refuse
it is your argumental character,open a rational talk it might help you
2006-10-31 08:42:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as his wife and the mother of his children you should not have to go through what he's putting you through. You've been married for 8 yrs now and he's gives you allowance. if you're married it should not be an allowance because what he have should become yours and what you have should become his. its about sharing and caring and if he's not giving that to you then you should find someone who will respect you for the wonderful person that you are. you don't deserve to get beat and cussed at. no woman should take that no matter how much they love that person. for the sake of your children leave him. you and your children can have a fresh start and you don't have to watch yourself around him 24/7 wondering what he's gonna do. no one should live like that. no children should grow up living like that seeing their father bring down their mohter. i been through that when i stayed with my mother and children can grow up with problems later on in life if you stick around him and keep putting them in that predictument. Get out know and dont look back. once you leave you will realize that you are someone who doesnt deserve any type of abuse. I hope you take my advice. good luck to you and your children.
2006-10-31 08:33:23 · answer #9 · answered by vanillaswril 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only is he abusive, he sounds like a very controlling dictator. For your safety and that of the kids, you need to go see a lawyer soon and file for a divorce. No doubt he is going to make all kinds of threats about taking the kids away and you not getting nothing, but don't give into that. You need to get away from him and not let him make you think like you can not leave. I promise you, he being the type of person you say he is, he will say all kinds of ugly things to you to make you think you will never make it without him, but it is not true, you will be fine.
2006-10-31 08:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋