I broke up with my boyfriend 2days ago...thing just werent working out between us, we'd been together for 3years but the last year I was very unhappy, we drifted apart and he was unwilling to try to fix things between, it was all left up to me. I know I did the right thing by breaking up with him, but I feel devestated, I spoke to him yesterday morning and not since, thats the longest we've ever gone with out talking and its killing me...I just want to pick up the phone and hear his voice. He hasnt contacted me though, I know this is his way of coping, so should I just give him space? Is it normal to feel this sad, or is it a sign that I still want him?
2006-10-31 00:21:01 · 24 answers · asked by Sadbh 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
first of all im sorry you're going through this.. i could imagine how devastated you feel.
thinking back to the hurt i felt when i broke up with someone i cared about, i know i missed them and i was broken hearted that i wasnt going to have what i had with them, but i also felt so alone and scared of my life because here you had this person in your life and it pretty much revolved around them, and now they are gone. you most likely feel empty and wondering how you will cope now that they are out of your life
if that is the case, you must keep yourself busy, keep amongst others you care about, focus on work or school or whatever you do right now for a living. join something that relates to a hobby.
you say you did the right thing by breaking up with him, so if you feel that in your heart, then your best bet is to move on.
its hard and it will be hard for some time.. a broken heart is one of the worst feelings in the world .. try to remember it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all
and hang in there sweetie.. the best of us have felt the pain of a broken heart .. its horrible, but it will mend with time
2006-10-31 00:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by nicoles1504 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume after 3 years, that you thought a lot before breaking up with your boyfriend.
It's normal that you feel this loss it's only been 2 days and you've had 3 years to develop intimacy and daily habits that will be hard to break.
The first couple of weeks/months (depending on your personality) will be the hardest.
What you need to do during the day is distract yourself... if you have friends have them over or go to their houses, watch tv silly movies together, talk (not necessarily about the break up or your boyfriend)... believe me you'll have enough time to brood at night when you're alone.
You may feel worse certain days then others, it's all normal and all part of letting go.
Don't think badly of your ex, simply remember the reasons why you broke up, but also all the good times you had in the past.
I wish you luck and patience
If you are into that, a little meditation before sleeping will help you sleep better.
2006-10-31 00:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by Muriel V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, First of all I sympathize with you, it's not easy at all. I went through the same situation: we were together for 3 years and it took a year to finally end it........I had to leave the country in order to fully stop the whole thing.
Keep focused on the fact that you weren't happy together, the relationship changed and therefore it wasn't meant to be, you'll get there in the end and it is painful and it does seem like forever but hang in there.
My advice is don't waste tears, when you start to cry, stop yourself, don't "let it all out" like your friends tell you. Use it as a driving force to keep yourself going, keep your head high.
Join a gym, a sports club and enjoy your friends company, do date other guys, it will feel weird but you have to do it sooner or later, make a diary of your feelings and use this as a valuble learning experience rather than a bad thing.
Chin up, you'll heal over and when you do you'll be a better person for it.
2006-10-31 00:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by jessieket04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to feel this way, because all you know is him and him being there when you want, but part of breaking up means you have to cope on your own, can you do that? If you really want to be with him then look at why you broke up in the first place, do you think these can change? If the relationship is worth saving then try but if it is the end then it will take time, but beleive me it gets easier. xx
2006-10-31 00:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by Kimmy xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to feel like this. You get so used to just having the company of the same person around you that when it has gone you feel like half of you is missing. Just remember that you know you did the right thing by finishing with him. He was making you miserable. If you get back with him you could have a lifetime of sadness but by staying away you will only have the sadness for a while. It will start getting better. xx
2006-10-31 00:27:02 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you are feeling is perfectly normal. You have lost a big part of your life. Something familiar to you & it's going to take time to get over it. Get out as much as you can, please don't sit home and be depressed. There are so many other men out there. I'm not saying to jump right into another relationship, just that this isn't the end of the world.
2006-10-31 00:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor thing,believe me you will feel like that for a little while longer yet!!Its so easy to confuse what you are feeling now as feelings of wanting him back,but you must stay strong and remember the reasons you broke up in the first place!!It does get easier just keep your self busy for now!! Your be ok!! x
2006-10-31 00:29:46 · answer #7 · answered by jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal to feel this way. For me it was more a case of wanting the company then the person. The way I got over my ex was to involve myself more with things to get me out of the house. I made more plans with friends and basically got out and about.
Of course you always have the odd down day but (and everyone says this) the feelings to subside over time and then you think to yourself "what was all that about".
2006-10-31 00:32:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's completely normal to feel the way you do and only time will bring healing. If you were feeling unhappy, there's no need for you to go back. It's going to take some time, but just take it one day at a time...
2006-10-31 00:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by cutesensiblechic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are going to miss him..thats normal but be strong and dont call him as much as you want to!over time things will become easier,it may be an idea to have some quality time with the family or friends..you need people around you!when i broke up with my boyfriend of four years i was always around people as this helped me take my mind of things..time is a great healer..i promise you..keep smiling xx
2006-10-31 00:32:11 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋