There's a married guy that i once worked with before he left for another company. I like him as a friend but of late he's actions confuse me. He takes me out during weekends, I feel turning him down will be a little unkind if by any chance he has no feelings what so ever for me. We only talk as mere friends though, we don't get personal, meaning he doesn't know anything about my BF and i know nothing about his wife, except that they have a son. I wouldn't commit adultery with him, but i fear not everyone will understand or believe me.
2006-10-30 23:52:08 · 16 answers · asked by Sammy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
When he brings me home as late as 2300, i still shouldn't worry
2006-10-30 23:56:55 · update #1
he may loves u as a friend only
he may loves u really from his heart but he cant declare that to u because he is married and has son
and what about u ?
do u love ur bfriend ?
if u dont love him why u still with him ?
and if u love him then dont think about other guy
follow ur heart because its ur soul guide that will help u
2006-10-30 23:56:06 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a wife that has a male best friend I can say that if friends is as far as it goes then this is fine. Although what I am not comfortable with is the fact that you know nothing about his wife for him your boyfriend. There is reasons you are not discussing these things. I believe human nature for guilt is to ignore the reason you are feeling guilty in which might mean you are both either wanting more from each other or just simply ignoring the fact that you both have other mates. If friendship is all either of you want then his and your mates should be included in some of your outings. I bet she doesn't even know you excist but are merely another guy at the office.
2006-10-31 08:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by crystalshannon516 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it to a minimum. Been there, done that. If you were spending time with him and his wife, that would be fine, but the fact that he's "taking you out" on the weekend doesn't quite seem right. Avoid the appearance of evil. Do you interact with his wife at all? If you do, that's fine. If not, I'd proceed with caution. Spending time with a person can breed feelings that weren't otherwise supposed to be there. That's just my opinion...
2006-10-31 08:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by cutesensiblechic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre better off making things clear to him. Let him know that the friendship you share is simply that. keep it platonic. At the end of the day, he has a wife and child to think about. And like you say - you're not sure anyone will understand you, so avoid the situation all together and then there's nothing to understand.
2006-10-31 07:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by DNA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean you feel like he's sending you mixed signals and you don't want to interpret it in a wrong way, right?... Just to be safe, why not talk to him about it... just tell him that you're not thinking that he's taking advantage of the situation...just tell him that you're a little bothered of what may people think about the two of you... or better yet... invite him for a dinner with your boyfriend and his wife... since you said you know nothing about his wife and vise versa... coz since you're confused, i think it's time to call in the shots and have a reality check...
2006-10-31 08:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, but real friends share everything with each other. Does his wife know you guys go out on dates? Does your BF? If the answer is no...then there is more going on. Be careful. Often times things get started as Friends...then marriages get wrecked.
It isn't about understanding...it is about what is appropriate. You may have honest intentions. But we're not worried about you now are we. are we?
2006-10-31 08:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by silverback487 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you think is correct. As long as you have not done anything wrong, nobody can make anything out of it. But I do fear that the more time you two spent together, a different kind of feel other than friends can developed.
2006-10-31 07:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by david l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be friends with him. It sounds like he just needs a friend, someone to talk to, have fun and relax.
Your boyfriend should understand. I dont think his wife would, however, speaking as "a wife".
2006-10-31 07:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by wingedladyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would keep my distance if i were you. there is nothing wrong with being friends but spending time with him when he should be spending it with his family is not good. Also spending time with him may develop feeling between you.
Look at this from his wife's shoes; how would you like your partner/husband spending alot of time with another woman?personally i just wouldn't do it.
2006-10-31 07:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by curiosity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its a relief for me to know that you know what kind of situation you have. its easy, both of you are no longer free. and its kinda hard for his part because he's married. with that i hope you should know what your decision should be. but i understand that you might fall in love with him, but know your limitation. well try to forget whatever feelings you have for him.but its still up to you.
2006-10-31 08:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by <fish_me> 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋