what can i say? he lies, he steals, he doesnt care about anyone but himself. 4 years of this is just too much.
2006-10-30 23:48:26 · 27 answers · asked by -Dank- 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are "enabling" him to continue doing what he's doing. It is called "tough love" to do the right thing..............but it's worth it!
2006-10-31 00:02:09 · answer #1 · answered by kirby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say but he might not forgive you even though you are trying to help him and do whats best for him. I am sure that you are getting tired of bearing a burden of right and wrong for him since it sounds like he sure isn't. However sometimes tough love is whats best in the long run. If you are having to question if you should send him or not I would think more about what would happen if you don't do anything at all? Could you live with yourself if he ended up seriously hurting or worse someone, or what if that happened to him. Also you need to think about what if he accidental harms you or someone you both love very much. Its a tough thing to do but I feel that in the end its the right thing to do.
Good Luck!
2006-10-31 07:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by Texasdream007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not too harsh. Sometimes it takes drastic measures for a person to see exactly how they have been acting. You know, hindsight is 20/20. He may never see what kind of hell he is putting you and himself through if tough love isn't in play.
Also, if you want a group of support, there are people out there who are going through the same thing that you are going through. Check into Alanon. I'm not sure if he drinks or does drugs, but either way this group may help you. Good luck and stay strong and true to your own self.
2006-10-31 08:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a court order for rehab? You will have to have him busted just to send him to jail. The problem with jail is that they aren't going to treat him for his drugs and to detox like that could kill someone. You need to find a place that will take him in and not release him for a certain amount of time. Just make sure if you do that, it's the minute he says he needs help. Waiting even 30 mins he could change his mind. I wouldn't stay with him right now though, especially if you have children there. They don't need to see him like that.
Another thing about drug addicts, it isn't about them not caring about anyone. The reason they are like that is because the drugs have taken over. They have a disease, it isn't something he can just turn off. You can also go to a place for families dealing with addiction. Call your local hospital and see what they can tell you. In order for you to help him though you need to get some education about it as well. I went through this with my sister and part of her rehab was to involve us. I learned a lot about the disease from her program. If your husband wants it and can get help, get him there asap. The results will be worth it if he can stay straight.
2006-10-31 08:08:17 · answer #4 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't too harsh. He is in his disease, this is why he does these things. You are not dealing with your husband, you are dealing with the addict. What you can also try is an intervention. Call a rehab and ask them to come and do an intervention on him. This is where they will come and talk to him and try to get him to rehab. If he doesn't go, then it is time to get tough. The longer you enable him to do what he is doing , the worse he will become. For yourself, find yourself either an Al-Anon (for families of alcoholics) or a Nar-Anon(families of addicts).They are there for you to help you...
2006-10-31 08:20:38 · answer #5 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that! Get out for yourself and your own piece of mind. You do know as long as he doesn't care about himself he can never care about anyone else right? You are wasting precious time, you deserve happiness and your not going to get it from him, he is too busy keeping his drugs happy. Good Luck GOD Bless!
2006-10-31 07:52:30 · answer #6 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he refuses to go let him go. Life is to short... Marriage is a wonderful thing IF two people work on it together.. But drugs alcholic and abusing are a waste of life. Give him a wake up call.. LEAVE HIM... see if he really wants the marriage.
2006-10-31 07:52:10 · answer #7 · answered by sweeetkisses2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about sending him to jail . i think maybe divorce would be a better option for you. why would want to stay married to someone who continually lies and steals and does not care about you ? ask yourself that question .
2006-10-31 08:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT...Do not look back.
Rehab will not cure selfishness. Selfishness will consume him and everyone around him.
Don't worry about sending him to jail, he will send himself there. Narsistic and sociopathic jumps into my mind.
He will not pass GO, he will go straight to jail.
2006-10-31 08:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by Triestobewise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. He may go to prison hating you but inside he might find the help he needs to become clean/dry (don't know what his addiction is) and come out a nicer person and respecting you for your decision. Good luck xx
2006-10-31 08:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by sue l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's time enough and I don't think jail is the answer. Give yourself another chance. Some people never change. It looks like this is your husband's case.
2006-10-31 07:53:42 · answer #11 · answered by cb56br 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋