i have no self worth due to my ex drug addiction also i sufferd alot of abuse as a kid?

Question

i was abused as a child by my mums boyfriend i am in counceling but i wonderd what all you have to say all advice would be greatfull i used to HATE my mum but not now i am older i realise it wasnt her fault but yet its still hard please help me if you can

Answer 1

Firstly, accept that you made a mistake. I am sure you have paid your dues for your ex drug addiction. Learn to forgive yourself first and everything else will come into place.

You have already made progress by understanding that it was not your mum's fault and the next step is to forgive her and to forge a relationship with her and make up for lost time.

Self worth is net worth. You have to be worthy to yourself first and foremost and no one has the right to say or make you feel otherwise.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I know where u're comin from. In fact I'm still there. What I'm tryin 2 do is identify patterns of behaviour in my past. I'm not yet strong enough 2 really make any big steps, or change, so I'm still muddling on in the old familiar ways, but I'm trying 2 understand myself & make tiny little changes. I don't buy in2 the whole, 'paint a huge smile on ur face, & go out & show the world the new u' stuff, cos unless u have real confidence, it'll just b an act.
As 4 ur feelings about ur mum, they r perfectly natural. Until u 'move 4ward' (I don't know if it's possible 2 'get over') from the destructive thoughts in ur head about the abuse, all the other feelings related 2 it will remain. Maybe u & ur mum will never have the perfect mother-daughter relationship (or maybe u will), but I do believe that it's possible 4 u 2 have some kind of relationship. Try 2 build on the strengths in ur relationship, instead of focussing on the negatives, or having a fantasy in ur head about the kind of relationhip u think u SHOULD have.
Please believe that u r worth 10 times more than u think. I don't even know u, but I felt moved enough 2 answer. & that emotion wasn't pity; it was just undertanding.
Good luck, x

Answer 3

You my friend should be so dam proud of yourself!!

You have overcome a drug addiction and survived abuse......
I know you probably feel really low at the moment, but time is a great healer and you have shown this by how you have forgiven your mum. You are doing the right thing by getting proper help and support from services available such as counciling etc.......possibly try a group session for self esteem etc, I am sure your couniler will be able to put you in touch with someone...

You are a survivor Ricky

Well done mate and good luck for the future.

Answer 4

Look into some alternative healing modalities:

First check out The Hoffman Process. It has been miraculous in cracking even the worst nut. www.hoffmaninstitute.org Most of us won't be able to go to this 8 day retreat, but you can still benefit becase Amazon (or whatever bookstore you choose) sell the book "The Hoffman Process"

This next powerful healing technique invloves tapping along certain points on your body to help release blocks:
Emotional Freedom Technique, free manual you can download here: http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Also check out this site of past radio shows, there is an EFT Master, Brad Yates, that will guide the listeners through an actual session. He is a guest a handful of times here, so search through the archives.
http://www.newsforthesoul.com/moreshows1.htm


This kind of uses a visualization technique to release blocks, also very effective:
Also look into The Sedona Method. Do a search at Amazon.com for a book with good reviews,hopefully with a recording.

These two methods will help clear alot of blockages that hold us back.

And on a spiritual level, this plea to the Divine for forgivness and clearing and purifying your past actions to Divine light is very freeing:
I also recommend Ho'oponopono a powerful healing techinuqe from Hawaii to help right the wrongs of your past negative karma and ask the Divine to heal it completely.
http://hooponopono.org/Articles/beyond_traditional_means.html

Then once you have these blocks out of the way, you can start to manifest what you want through affirmation and visualization. Check out Joe Vitale's book"The attractor Factor" or the DVD "The Secret" www.thesecret.tv


And for those of you who have open minds, google "Deeksha"

Answer 5

As you grow older you manage to let things go a little bit more because the pain is less raw. Of course when you were younger you were going to blame your mum because she was supposed to be protecting you. You have manage to forgive her which is a good sign because there is no point going through life having excuses for everything that goes wrong for you. When you come out of the other side of all this you will be such a strong person because it takes a strong person to get through it. It will be in your own time that you manage to work through it all. Well done for getting this far and good luck for the future. xx

Answer 6

my boyfriend is the same,he was abused by a friend of his mums. his mum didnt want to believe him and that sent him off the rails,his stepdad did drugs and by 17 he had done every drug available to him and had a herion habit. i met him when he was 20,he was coming off drugs when his junkie stepdad came out of jail and asked him to get him a fix........it started all over again.I think he hates his mum because she let him down .she led a wild lifestyle and he resented that,she didnt give him a second thought.What makes it worse for him is his mum doesnt think she was that bad! He has me now and for the past 5 years we have built a family together and are very happy.Although he still sees his mum,he doesnt think much of her.And i'm just waiting on the day the sh*t hits the fan,and they will clash heads.Its good to hear your doing well,keep up the good work,its worth it and so are you.

Answer 7

Stop it> You are a person in your own right and only you can sort your life out. take along look in a mirror and tell your self you are worth a hell of a lot more.Forget what happened to you in the past I've been there and thinking about it will only make you feel worse about your self. Write a letter on how you feel, sad,angry everything you feel then write what you would like the person or persons to have said to make you feel o.k .You don't have to show it anyone but it will make you feel a lot better in your self > (I've done this ) Stand tall and be proud of what you have done and let NO ONE PUT YOU DOWN. you ONLY GET ONE LIFE. loads of happiness is being sent your way .

Answer 8

get a picture of yourself as a child,pretend its your child and tell it how wonderful it is how you hope they get to do all the great things in life ,being a strong confident person who may have gone through tough times can come out the other side with forgiveness.that person is you, let yourself have all the happiness you would want for your child. you have your whole life ahead let the past go and try not to dwell on the bad and concentrate on on all the good things that life has to offer. good luck x

Answer 9

You are human and we make mistakes all the time, accept that! Find your higher power! Do you believe in GOD, go to church pray ask forgiveness? If you don't believe in GOD, find some spirituality read, relax learn. Have you gone to AA/CA, you can meet some great people that have been in your situation that you can confide it, sometimes the more you talk about it the easier it is to deal with. Someone I love is in the same situation as you. God Bless you, your worth all the gold in the world, be strong and love yourself.

Answer 10

do you know how hard it is to come off of drugs,,oh yes,,you do,,you are an EX user,,that takes strength,,you could have played the abused card for the rest of your life,carried on taking drugs,, and no one would have really argued forcibly with you!dont under estimate what you have already achieved,if you can do that you can do most things! counseling is a really good thing for someone in your position and for you to ask for more words of wisdom here is you opening yourself up to the opinions of others,,wanting to use what others have to say to improve on yourself,,that takes skill,,many people dont know all they need do is ask for help/advise,they use ready made excuses for the crap way their life is heading and here you are wanting more,,if you always strive for more you wont find your confidence lacking for long,those who listen,,,learn,,and those who learn,,,can listen. bloody well done mate!!!!!!