My ex left me when I was pregnant, he didn't want the baby....now the baby is 17 months old....he hasn't bothered with him or even acknowledged him (by his choice not mine) and all of a sudden now he wants to get together and be a family....
Should I A - Go with him so my child will have his father
B - Tell him to go to hell
I told him he doesn't need me to be in his childs life and he said, it is either the both of us or nothing....
Help any advice...Do I love him, yes and no I love then man he use to be, but not the man who doesn't love my child who is the light of my life.....ADVICE
2006-10-30 23:20:31 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
by the way he is 40 years old he doesnt need time to grow up
2006-10-30 23:37:05 · update #1
i can understand this for the fact that i love my ex and love can be mean sometimes because it forgets the bad times you have and just remembers the good.
But this question was answered the minute he walked out because in my opinion bringing up a child is the most important thing you can do and you have to give 100% he wasnt even prepared to stay through the pregnancy, i can tell you love your child very much and that shows alot, if your as nice as you seem then you will find another partner who will support you and hopefully be a better role model than there real father would be.
2006-10-30 23:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by Ben H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child is better off with no father, if he isn't willing to be a FULL TIME FATHER!!! A huge committment needs to be made on his part. Coming in and out of this childs life is no way to raise a child and he needs to step up to the plate and be a man. If he can't make that committment to your child, then he doesn't deserve to be called a Father. Anyone can donate sperm a father is a man who gives his heart and his time to his children. 40 Years old doesn't make a whole hell of a difference. You need to put your child's needs first not yours, whether you love this man or not doesn't matter its whether this man is going to be a Decent Daddy!!!
2006-10-31 07:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he's 40 doesn't mean he doesn't need to grow up. He does need to grow up. I would tell him to go to hell, he should want to be the father out of love not because you will take him back. If you take him back you will be more stressed than before because he still doesn't want that baby so you will be stuck raising him and another. He ran out on you, he is the dead beat. I'd slap some child support on his butt and go on with life. You can find someone out there that will want to be with you and have your son in the picture. Just have to find him. But drop the loser before you end up worse off.
2006-10-31 07:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out why he left. Was he scared to be a father?NOT ready to grow up? Then why does he want to get back together. My sons father left 2 weeks after I had him. We were apart for 2 years and I choose to take him back. Everything has been great since we got back together. I think us breaking up was the best thing that could have happened to us. If you still have feelings for him then give it a shot. If not then tell him to go to hell! If you question what is there try it, take it slow and you will know. Follow your heart!
2006-10-31 07:25:43 · answer #4 · answered by charmz21lucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do make mistakes. I think though that he feels that he needs you more than wants to have a relationship with you. I could be wrong but the fact that he ran out on you in your time of need says a lot about him. I think you continue your life with you and your child and forget about him. There are a lot of other guys out there that would love to have an honest and sincere gal.>
2006-10-31 07:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him to go to hell,he was not there for you and your unborn child then and you did great by yourself,how that the baby is well he wants to play the father role hell no.You have proved that you are an independent woman stick by it,there are other men out there that will love to have you and your baby as a family.Please don't let him spoiled your happy days,he not worth it.
2006-10-31 07:35:52 · answer #6 · answered by leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably he was with someone else & it didn't work out, so now he's back to you. Your child deserves a REAL father. Unless he spends months, or preferably years proving that he can be that dad & husband (before you even consider taking him back), I wouldn't do it.
He sounds immature, and do you want another 'child' to take care of? Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Don't make your decision based on who he used to be. Good luck
2006-10-31 08:58:01 · answer #7 · answered by I saw whatudid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start all over with him. Get to know him again. why the sudden change - ask him? If he can leave u once that does not necessarily mean he would do that again. was he too young to own up? maybe he was scared. whatever his reasons get to know him. he has to earn your trust once again. There's a japanese(or so) proverb that says ' Fool me once, shame on you but if you fool me twice, then i'm the biggest fool on earth'. So be cautious but atleast give him a chance for your child's sake and the fact that you still love him. But a word of caution - Dont let your love blind you to his faults, be observant but be open and accepting too
2006-10-31 07:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by girlfunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a excellent question,remember you don't have to be married to involve a child with a willing father.I myself raised 3 kids with a stupid mother who was hardly ever in the picture.Is it hard yes, was it the right thing yes.I have to disagree with you he doesn't have to be in your life to be a good father.He only has to involved with the child to be a good father don't confuse a husband with a father.Do not by no means block him out of the kids life unless he is involved in some type of crime.(always be able to tell your child as they get older that you did not hinder the relationship between his father and him or her because you will get blamed right or wrong.Be smart and good luck.
2006-10-31 07:38:10 · answer #9 · answered by ga44male 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to subject your child to a man that didn't think enough of him or you to stick around when you needed his support the most? I guess my way of thinking is... your son's been without him for this long, and better to never have his dad then to let him bond with him, love him, need him, and then have the idiot disappear again.
He's using the child to get you back, and you don't want to go back. It shows just what kind of man he is..... the kind we can all do without.
2006-10-31 07:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋