38 and pregnant needs support?

Question

I am 7 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and I'm 38, my husband is 40. Our first son is 12 years old. I'm worried how our son will react; I'm worried what people will say. Does anyone have any words of comfort? I have always regretted not having another child sooner, now I'm nervous.

Answer 1

...I don't want to be your wet blanket, but I've had your question on my screen now for 15 mins and in good conscious, I have to say this... Please , Please have an amnio done. I don't know what your views or personal beliefs are but let me share something with you;
There is almost 12 years between me and my brother, and when he was born, it was great. I was very happy. My brother was our "golden boy" because he taught himself to read by age 3 and he had a near photographic memory. It was a hoot... and then we found out he has all these wonderful talents because he's autistic. By the age of 5 he became diabetic.
These things have never changed my love for him, but they became a serious issue for me as I entered adulthood. That's when I realized that someday my parents will be gone and I will become completely responsible for him. This affected me in ways I'd never considered, like getting married, because essentially, I would be asking someone else to take on this responsibility with me someday.
It took me almost 8 years to accept my love's proposal...thank God, he waited for me. It again became an issue when we decided to have our own children.
Please consider these things for the son you have now.
I wish you all good things, perfect health and much happiness.

Answer 2

Congratulations, your son will reacted like any other teenager, but this will pass, it all depends on your son. Your age has nothing to do with what a wonderful new mother you will be, it will be like your first time again as its been such a big age gap. So that means you will have all the same worries as if you didn't already have a son. Every pregnancy will bring nerves, Don't worry you will be fine.

Remember Everything happens for a reason and timing is apart of that also. Never regretted anything it can't be changed and now you have been given your second blessing, now is a better time as any, so just sit back and relax you need to enjoy this pregnancy as it will only last another 7 months and they will fly by. Make sure your doctor keeps an eye on you as your age can cause problems but if watched carefully to prevent any problems. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 3

Come to www.whattoexpect.com there are boards for mommies who are 35+. There are some women who are like you...they have older children and are expecting a baby. The site is great everyone is really friendly and supportive. I am a member myself. I'm 37 and pregnant with my first.

The age difference shouldn't be a problem between your children and the oldest one may feel very helpful...just like a little dad. My brother and two sisters are much younger than me. Like I said I'm 37, my brother is 26, one sister is 16 and the youngest is 11. I argue more with the 11 year old...it's crazy.

Good luck and don't worry.

Answer 4

I'll be 38yrs old in 1 month,I have a 14 yr,7 yr old,20 mth & 4 mth old.My two oldest are great with the youngest and it's great to have a responsible child around to entertain the youngest while I make a quick lunch,etc.You'll love it!

Answer 5

dont be nevous. it because your older and wiser though. when were young and pregnant we can take on the world. when were older, we think * oh no what if?* and we should try to worry less. as far as everyone else, dont worry what they think. your son will be fine just make him part of everything. maybe give him a hookie day to go watch the ultrasound, let him help in choosing the name, things like that. i think hell be fine and alot of help to you as well.... im assuming its alot like smaller kids, the more you make a smaller child part of the baby, the more they love it instead of resenting it.... good luck and congrads!!!

Answer 6

Don't worry, 12 years old probably won't bother too much of another person in the house. Just do not neglect him because of the arrival of the new kid.

Answer 7

hai,y u worry abt this.this is normal not any late,ur son is going to get a younger one soon,he should be excited.i find no reason to worry abt as u ,is it the age gap that worry you abt new kid,tell ur son that he is going to get a new friend to play ,and he has to take care of baby,make him feel that he is also a part by giving him small responsiblities once baby is b0rn,be happy always ,good luck 2 u

Answer 8

your kids will be fine...stop making this a bigger issue...you can regret all you want...you need to get over it...your son will pick up on your vibes...this is a happy time. my kids are 20. 15 and 8...i wouldn't chang a thing. me and my oldest sister are 20 years apart. after i'm gone...my girls will have each other. you have 2 choices...make this a good experience...or make it a bad experience...

Answer 9

i am 15 and my sister is almost 3. so its almost the same as your case. my dad is in his late 40's and my mom is in her early 40s. so as you can see its VERY much like your case. my sister is okay i guess. she can be very annoying ..most of the time. and you will relive your first born all over again, bringing joy,pain, and loss of sleep :) trust me. haha. but its good knowing that i have a sister by my side for the rest of my life. so i guess your son would probably appreciate it as he matures and grows older(assuming he isnt that mature) if he is mature than he will probably understand and love his new sibling :).hope this helps

Answer 10

You have twelve years of expeience with your son, rely on it. And remember that at twelve, your son is venturing into his teen years and will be going through many changes that have nothing to do with your pregnancy and the new baby. You will often not know why he changed, but children change constantly on their way to adulthood.