Buddy of mine of 15yrs is a Regular SSG in the Singapore Arm Forces got engaged 4 months ago His fiance happens to work in the same co as me.Recently the company found out that she is having an affair with another dept manager for the past 6-8 weeks.She did actually admitted to another girl colleague that she only reason she sleeps with him is for a promotion!!! I felt extremely sad and worried for my buddy as i hv no idea whether to tell him regarding his fiance's infidelity.No one in the right mind will be able to accept or take it.
But should I let him know the truth or should i keep quiet about this matter ?
2006-10-30 21:24:43 · 22 answers · asked by chasen54 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
THKS FOR ALL YR KIND ADVICES,REPLIES from the bottom of my heart ..:-)
2006-10-30 21:50:40 · update #1
Please let him know 'cos getting married is a big commitment and if there has been any infidelity the other party should know about it. If he still wants to carry on with the marriage after knowing, it would be his decision. But the least he should know.
2006-10-30 21:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by teddytrin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my take on things, it's quite a difficult situation to be in.
I was also in the same position about a year ago. My friend was cheating on his girl and was telling me all the juicy details. Thing was i was also close to his girlfriend and the more she got miserable and asked for my help, the more I felt compelled to tell her the truth though doing that would be like betraying my friend, the irony of it all! Finally when i told her, she said she knew already but she just wanted to make sure. 3 months later, she told him that i was the one that told her and he confronted me. We sorted it out between us but now the "trust" between us is gone and i speak to her when i have to. Basically, i was the bad one cos i got involved so i've learnt my lesson, i stay out of it.
On the flip side, you've been friends for 15 years, if he finds out you knew all along, he'd probably be mad at you for not telling him.
It's a hard decision, i hope you make the right one. Good luck
2006-10-30 21:58:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know if anyone should judge this as its feelings we are talking about, but let me tell you what really happened to me and what i did and the outcome and i will let you decide.
My brother was with his girlfriend for 2 years and he told me all the stories of his good times with another girl for over 6 months behind her back, but as i got to know his girl friend i did not like what her was doing so i told him to stop and he did not so i told his girl friend.
Now as of today 12 years on he has a wife of 11 years, 3 children and is very happy but i should not of done what i done as it was not my business to and i would never do that again as it was wrong, but saying that he would not have these 3 great kids.
2006-10-30 21:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by daniel c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are absolutely sure of your facts, I'd say tell him. He will find out sooner or later, and when he does, he will not appreciate the fact that you kept this from him. BUT (!) be very sure you got your facts straight first. You have the power to potentially end a person's engagement here, so do not say anything if all you know is based on office gossip and rumour.
2006-10-30 22:04:43 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hardest place a friend can be. It's a lose either way! He needs to know but how he find out is the question. What ever you need to do to make him aware keep it only to yourself, if he find out you knew and didn't tell him. He may not forgive you. One idea, below is a web address go there and find if this will help.He can sent messages and they work ! www.getrevengeonyourex.com
2006-10-30 21:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by dettie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this. Would you want to know if the situation was reversed?
If your best friend worked with your fiance. And she had an affair for a promotion. Would you want to be told?
If your answer is yes. Do it cautiously. Break it to him gently! And have evidence!
2006-10-30 22:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by Brandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tho it would hurt he should really know. If she is going to be unfaithful for something like a promotion......what else would she do it for?? I don't envy what you have to do but if he's a good friend you need to be honest with him and be there for him afterwards.
Maybe you could tell his fiance to be upfront with her future husband. Tell her she has a chance to tell him herself before you do. And give her a chance to defend herself if the accusation is untrue!
I hope it all works out. I would hate you to lose a friend. Good Luck!
2006-10-30 21:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by red260z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very difficult situation to be in. Something similar to your situation happened to me a couple of years ago. I told my friends wife that if she did not tell him the truth, I would. Fortunately a few days later he called and directly asked me if I knew if "jenny" was cheating. I told him that she was. The end result is they are back together after a couple of years of separation, and none of us are friends anymore. His wife hates me and my girlfriend her former best friend. Steer him toward the person making the accusations and try to keep out of it.
2006-10-30 21:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by jeremy f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First make it sure that its true, sometimes what u hear is not true. And when you are sre be quick enough to tell ur buddy about this. As a friend he will surely understand you. Marriage is a life-time commitement, go ahead and inform your friend calmly about this and he will be thankful to u for this.
2006-10-30 23:27:47 · answer #9 · answered by Simba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell my friend if I was in that situation. If she did it once she'll probably do it again and she could give him an std or something. If my fiance did that and my friend knew about it I would expect him to tell me too. That's just me though, do what you think is right.
2006-10-30 21:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋