do you think best friends can become lovers ?

Question

2 girls one lesbain one bi been best friends for almost 4 yrs they both have admitted love for each other but they are affraid to overstep the friendship boundries to far.

Answer 1

This is coming from a straight guy. The question you ask has nothing to do, in my opinion, with sexuality. Feelings are feelings and love is love so is friendship. Whether you are gay or straight doesn't matter and your sexuality is your business, nobody else's. It is a question that many will ask themselves and really it all comes down to one thing: How can you love someone without knowing them (at least a bit) and therefore to have a mutual attraction, besides physical attraction, there has to be compatibility, common interests, sharing and most of all trust. I think that only comes after you build a "friendship". Some will say "oh hon, if you make love with your best friend you will gain a lover and lose a friend!" Not necessarily true, if the friendship is solid I believe you take it to a higher level when you become lovers. I have been with my girlfriend for 11 years, we started as friends, then later very good friends then lovers. The beauty of having it all (friend/lover) is that sometimes you need the lover but in real life, everyday life, a friend is more what you really need. The fact that it is a woman or a man, the gender, is not the main criteria, it's what is in your heart and your head, for the both of you. Giving is nice but receiving is also, no matter what the old adage says. In most situations a friend will try to help his/her friend, be unbiased, give you some advice, be there. The lover will be there no matter what, will go to extremes because of that passion you achieve on a higher level. Isn't it great to have it all in any circumstance? And if something does happen to jeopardize the relationship, who says it is "easier" or "harder" between friends than between lovers? A loss is a loss. So why not take the chance and go for it. Life is so short and you can't come back to do what you didn't do the first time.

Answer 2

I would hate to have a lover that is not a best friend. Actually, becoming lovers does not mean you are living together. When you become a couple, it merely means you are lusting for each other's bodies, you crave each other's presence, and you desire their closeness, but it does not mean love. Love only comes about with time, when you are no longer two people, but one unit, to take on the world together. No couple, of any gender or orientation get together for love, though they may think otherwise. You will know when you are truly in love when your life is absolutely centered around that other person. Until then, your are merely best friends who are making love (having sex). I know you don't understand it, but you will when you're an old fart like me.

And for those looking at this and wonder why, as a Christian, I'm not just condemning her, what she is and wants to be is between her and God. If her heart desires to reach out for a change in her life, than I, or I hope someone else, will be there to teach her. But for now, it is her choice to express her life in a manner that feel right to her, based on how she feels she was born. Aside from bring someone into the light, the greatest gift anyone can give is support for happiness. When the time comes, what will happen to her, and anyone, is between her and God.

Answer 3

It's risky, but then life is taking chances. If both people are unattached right now, it's worth a shot if they feelings are strong. Only they know how strong it is. Becoming lovers will ALWAYS change a friendship, so they have to decide what's more important. Many friendship turn into fabulous long term relationships. I would have never considered any lover (or possible mate) I wasn't a friend with first. Sexual love eventually fades, trust me, I'm 44 and in a 26 year relationship with my true love. It is our friendship that remains a constant, the peaks of sexual love rise and fall as we reach menopause. It is not the most important part of our love. Don't get me wrong it's still every bit as sweet and she is the only one I desire. I'm just saying...for a long term relationship, there has to be more than just sex.

Answer 4

My aunt told me to marry my best friend, so the potential for a romance is there, but the fear of loosing not only a lover but also a great friendship if things don't work out between them is there too. It might also be they're so used to being friends they're not sure how to be in that sort of relationship?
I went out with my best friend. After two years the relationship broke up, and now we never see eachother. I miss the friendship, but we could never be just friends after everything we went through during the breakup.

Answer 5

Definitely possible! My girl & I are best friends turned lovers. She's bi, and I'm a les. But she's a bi leaning towards lesbian, so things were fairly easier for us. Even if being together meant cheating on our significant others back then. I know, it's nothing to be proud of because we ended up hurting a lot of people. But, hey, it just can't be helped. Our happiness was at stake then! It's been 3 1/2 years running for us now. \m/

Answer 6

They can become lovers but a lot of times that messes up the friendship. I have two close friends who at one time I had deep crushes on, but I am glad today that we didn't cross that line because often times relationships can come and go but friendships tend to last.

Answer 7

Definately.
Love is the scariest feeling in the world; so it's definately alright to be afraid to overstep those boundaries... but once they are overstepped, there's a whole new world on the other side of that line! =) Good luck, but becareful because once you take that leap, you can't ever go back to "how it used to be..." thats the only downfall

Answer 8

They can, and they will... If they continue to be best friends.. spend time with each other.. Open up more and more.. Want to know the other one better.. I think it is wonderful! Being with someone who knows you so well and who you desire to give all of yourself to..
Just - as somebody pointed out- dont get carried away by jealousy- there is so much less of it in friendship! .. Dont let it stand between you, dont let anything stand between you..
Remain close, and open to each other, talk through problems and dont let unresolved conflicts poison your hearts and create walls between you - and you will remain best friends, as well as lovers :)
go for it.. and have hope

Answer 9

I think that feeling is only love as sister coz when a friendship become love relationship, everything is going to be different. love is closer and more open in terms of feelings and in friendship there's still more boundaries. I won't say it's impossible but I wouldn't recommend it. = )

Answer 10

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