If my husband hid that he was talkin to his ex should i be worried now we fight all the time?

Question

we just had a baby 3 months ago she tried breaking us up before we got married. the only answer he will give me is he doesnt know why. and in the hospital he wanted nothing to do with me

i found out through his email they were calling eachother and writing they made sure she called while he was at work so i wouldnt find out. they also agreed to hid it from me. he talked to her for 2 1/2 hours while he was at work and told me he didnt found it on our cell phone bill

Answer 1

did he see you behind her back too? i doubt it,,she is his ex,,not current girlfriend and there is absolutely no reason for him to see her unless children are involved,but as you dont mention any i would be worried.they had a shot,they dated but without success and they split,,its just the way things go.the lying is more predominant here though,it is breeding mistrust and he should know better especially as now the two of you have a child,his outlook on life may have changed in recent months but he had choices too ,not just you,,he didnt have to date you,love you,have a child with you,but he did and now its time to be a man and step up to the manly plate,you are well within your rights to stamp your feet here as she cannot offer him anything anymore,,that is your job and if he continues to make excuses to see her under the rouse of friendship you will have to consider this a unfaithful,in spirit anyway,partner and just a boy playing man im afraid,time to get tough and fight for your family,,at least get to know where you stand.

Answer 2

if you're married than you should be speaking on your husband. The ex is an ex for a reason. in case you spot him out on the line, then say hi, yet do not sit down on the phone with him. if you're sitting at abode with the toddler with not something to do, get a activity reason talking to different men will in basic terms reason problem, a twin of him talking to his ex does. the in basic terms distinction is he has a baby with this woman and they do have some component to communicate about, you do not. forget the previous because that is going to adversely result your marriage. only a tip once you write in Capital letters it means that you're shouting, not speaking, and it really is tougher to study.

Answer 3

Think of your husband or even regular people as children...what does a child do when he's doing something naughty and he knows it's wrong?

First you know there's something wrong because they'll get quiet all of a sudden, they'll hide and then when you find them out they'll deny everything and get extremely defensive at everything you say towards what they've done.

Talk to him about it.
Don't approach him with anger.
Encourage him to talk about what he needs in this relationship with you.
Accept everything he says, and try to repeat back to him what you understood.
Never raise your voice, things will only escalate from there.
Get his attention by mentioning: "do you want us to get a divorce, do you want me to leave you alone?"
Give him room to vent

ALSO VERY IMPORTANT, IT COULD ALL BE A MISUNDERSTANDING
- maybe it just happened that he got in touch with her and thought it was no BIG deal and didn't tell you about it because it wasn't something that was important to him.

and problem solved.

Even think about yourself, have you always had issues with trusting people?


Try to have talk with your husband, show him that you love him and care for him and really listen to him like you would as if you were talking to a girlfriend.

Set the mood too for a nonconfrontational atmosphere, like baking cookies, ordering pizza, just something simple and nice to make it more cozy and private.

Answer 4

WHAT!? No waaaay! PUT YOUR FOOT down NOW!! Don't even feel guilty about this, cause what he is doing is NOT right sis.

OR atleast try to initiate open communication...it seems like he is avoiding the truth. Tell him, it is your family ..the future of your baby's FUTURE ...it is NOT worth it for anyone to intrude a happy family. If he REALLY wants out then let him go.... You don't need a selfish JERK to hide behind your back like that...it's just NOT fair!

Answer 5

If it's innocent why would he hide the fact? I wouldn't say be worried about it and I certainly wouldn't argue about it all the time because it's just feeding fuel to send him back to her. You get more with honey than you would with salt. I would settle down mentally and get control emotionally and be prepared for what comes. If he leaves let him go and stay gone because it'll be a back and forth fiasco and he's lovin' it. If he chooses to stay let him know that he doesn't have to sneak because it puts doubts in your mind and that you'd rather he not talk to her--unless they have children. He's already shown that he doesn't respect you in this regard so you encourage him to and if he chooses not to comply then you will know that somethings up.

Answer 6

It depends, do they have children together? If they do then they will have to talk at times and shouldn't make a big deal of it because that in itself would cause a big problem. If he doesn't have children with her I would be wondering why is he talking to her! But a lot of couples do remain friends even after they are divorced,it doesn't mean there is anything going on!

Answer 7

Definitely! Why should he hide it at all unless he was upto somethin?? I think what you should do is just sit down like matured adualts and talk about it!

Answer 8

There is never any justification in "being worried".
You should talk to him directly about things rather than be paranoid and wonder about things every waking moment.Don't fret .... it never solves anything.

Answer 9

YOU SEEM TO BE INSECURE WITH YOUR SELF . IF YOU WEREN'T AND HAD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP, LOVING AND RESPECTFUL , YOU WOULD KNOW WHO YOUR MARRIED TO AND NOT WONDER THAT KIND OF STUFF. THAT IS VERY DAMAGING TO A RELATIONSHIP. SO IS CHEATING. IF YOU ARE THAT WORRIED , GET A PRIVATE DETECTIVE TO FOLLOW HIM FOR A FEW DAYS .......

Answer 10

Yep