My husband and I have been living together only for five months now and one weekend he is with me and the next he is out with his friends antil two or three in the morning. One time he came at five. I have been patient and tried to understand his needs to be with freinds. But dose it have no limit? We have talked about it each time and he always tells me to understand and that he is not doing anything else like being with another woman or something.
What shall I do?
2006-10-30 18:35:31 · 15 answers · asked by terri 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have to have outside interests and things to do. you cant be up under your mate all the time.he or she will get on your nerves.It may not be a another woman. it does have a limit though. he should consider your feelings but you should go out too, and stop waiting for him to get home or wonder why he has to be out with his friends. give yourself a chance to miss him.....you already live with and married to him, you got the rest of your lives to hang out together....
2006-10-30 18:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by luciousbbwkitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men will always be men. Sounds to me like you are a very understanding wife. Even though your husband state that he's not doing anything bad but coming home at 5 a.m. is just not acceptable. You need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you understand that he wants to hang out w/ his friends and you are okay w/it but being home at 5am is a big no no. Ask him how would he feel if you r out w/friends until early morning? He has a family now and those partying needs to slow down. You're nice enough to give him that space to hang out w/ his friends already. My husband was like your husband before marriage. Everytime he goes out w/ his friends he never comes home until the next morning. But that was when we were not married. My husband understand the fact that he has a family and is considerate of my feelings. If your husband care for you he would respect that this is bothering you. If he continue than you need to step your ground and give him the choice. You are still newly weds you should want to spend every moment together. If he's not ready to commit to you than why tie the knot for? Grow up already.
2006-10-31 02:58:10 · answer #2 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not a good sign. He's testing the waters right now, and you are letting him. First he tried 2 and 3 in the morning, then 5. What about his friends? Don't they have anyone to go home to? If they are all single, then maybe he needs to find new friends.
Don't get me wrong....there's nothing wrong with spouses going out without each other....in fact it should be encouraged. But where it becomes a problem, is when one spouse starts to disrespect the other spouse. Like what your husband is doing to you. Instead of asking US what to do, you should tell him you don't appreciate him disrespecting you and tell him you have already given him 3 chances to change it and he just keeps on disrespecting you over and over. Any husband or wife for that matter should care enough about their spouse to respect them!
2006-10-31 02:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey if i can get every other weekend with my husband i would be so happy. My husband rather spend his time playing his war game on the internet, play poker with his friends from work, or just take off and not say anything to me. I have been married a grand total of 5 yrs. i get alone time with him maybe 2 times every three months. And if I want to go out and have a few beers and a couple of dances I have to Practically drag him out the door.
2006-10-31 03:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We haven't had this experience, and neither do friends or family. Everyone we know puts family first, wife first, especially after a hard day and/or week at work. All they want to do is be cocooned in the love of their wives and families.
So I don't know what's up with your husband. Sounds like he doesn't understand what marriage means, and still wants to do the single thing. Perhaps you had better speak with him more seriously and the two of you can work out something better.
2006-10-31 07:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. Its a transition period for him. He needs time. I think as time goes by the every other weekend w/friends will be every third weekend and so on. Now, u have to do ur part. If sat night w/u is going to the local Target to buy cat food or dinner w/ur parents... u get the pic. I dont mean wild stuff every night, but i do mean fun stuff.
gl
2006-10-31 02:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by Nick A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First,there's nothing wrong with him wanting to go hang out with his friends,Hanging out till 2 or 5 am would be the problem.Doesn't he have daytime friends?I think when a married person goes to a bar with single friends it will eventually end up them getting drunk and end up someplace they shouldn't be!When he goes out,the next weekend make plans for you to go out,Don't let him know in advance that you have plans!let him sit home a wonder where you are till 2,3,4 or 5 am. even if you just go to a friends house and make cookies. But let him think you were partying! And when he voices his opinion (if he does) stand your ground and tell him every time he goes out with his friends,the next weekend is yours to do the same!
2006-10-31 02:58:10 · answer #7 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do the same, but you two should both be in on it and plan ahead. You should both be able to get away from each other at least periodically to hang out with your buddies and do stuff, but not to the point where it is a detriment to your relationship.
2006-10-31 02:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by FireKracker187 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "nanny" I am a family man to the heart, my children are still growing I live to say prayers and to put them to bed every night. I know the day is going to come when they won't need dad to put them to bed anymore. Even thought my son says different.
2006-10-31 08:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do that once in a while, I need to get out of the house in order to apprieciate having a home, it may sound weird, but it works for me. The problem is, it doesn't work for her. Hope you find an answer.
2006-10-31 02:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by Thomas C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋