I've been single for many years while trying to fit into society. I have dodged the questions over the years about my sexuality. All the while watching all the awesome young men enjoy themselves around me. What I mean is, I've watched others who aren't in the closet enjoy the open gay life I've craved for. Please tell me if there is a group out there that can help me be what I am. I'm tired of not being myself in a group of people. I'm ready to live the life I was born to live. I'm 34 years old, 5'6'', sandy brown hair, hazel blue eyes, and 277 pounds. Do you think I'll ever be able to find the comfort and security with another man that I desire?
2006-10-30 18:18:46 · 15 answers · asked by white wolf 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Since you are a nurse, you know that nobody lives forever. You have one question to answer: when you are on your deathbed do you want to say "I wish I would have..." or say "I regret that I didn't..."
I honestly do not want my answer to come across as being rude, but life is short and it consists of what you make of it. You say that others enjoy the life you have craved for, that you are tired of not being yourself, and that you are ready to live the life you were born to live. You will be able to have comfort and security with another man once you admit to yourself who you are and trust your own judgment above others. It may not be the easy choice, but from what you have written it is the best choice.
2006-10-30 19:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First may I comment on your opening part of this? I've known many nurses in my life, most were male and most were straight, so THAT job doesn't at all make you "typical". As for the rest of your question, I'm sure the only person you've ever really fooled about your "hidden" sexuality is yourself. What I mean is I'm willing to bet all of your co-workers know you are Gay and, like me, could care less. Being Gay isn't a "way of life" or "a state of mind", it is simply who you are, be proud of who you are and come out of that suffocating closet. Clearly you are very unhappy there. And being IN the closet is most likely the very reason you've yet to find the man you desire. There are many support groups for Gay men and woman alike who feel as you do, ask about them at your local mental health center, where 99% of them are sponsored. I wish you all the best.
2006-10-31 02:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Daydream Believer 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would hit up some gay bar/clubs and chat with other gay guys. The only thing that will make you more comfortable and accepting of yourself is to really experience it and gain some personal experience in the area. No more watching, start getting involved. Just remember to be safe! Good luck to you, coming out is a very liberating experience and I know you'll be happier if you do it.
2006-10-31 17:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by Des Demona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest you sound absolutely lovely! Someone who is thoughtful, aware of themself,but spends most of their life helping others. I'm not hitting on you, merely making a point. You have alot to offer any man and whilst support groups are helpful, with the advent of the Internet there are many of them which if you want to go down that road you're better off trying at your leisure. However support groups are not necessarily the answer in themselves. What you need to do is come to terms with your sexuality in your own way. If you can come to terms with who you are than others will pick up on this and you'll find potential relationships on a daily basis when you might have previously missed the signals. It can appear to be difficult, nigh on impossible to meet a man, but it is perfectly possible whoever or wherever you are. Good luck, my friend!
2006-10-31 02:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by waggy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
34? Dear, you're just ripe!
GOOD FOR YOU. You know you're gay, you know you're missing out, and you are acting on that by asking about it!
Is there a group out there? Possibly, depending on where you live. If you're in a really small town, you might need to travel to someplace bigger. You might want to try some counseling, or maybe a support group.
I believe you can find what you aspire to, just keep setting goals and achieving them, like steps in the direction you want. If you could find a support group of people coming out, that might be great for you.
The main thing is: DO what you need to. FIND OUT what your possibilities are. PURSUE them by taking action. BE HONEST about yourself and do what you can to be approachable and attractive and healthy and happy. And RECOGNIZE that ALL KINDS of men have found what they're looking for. Yes all, I've personally seen all kinds. Don't let yourself get defeated by the "looks" game ... you want a magazine cover, or a relationship?
If you're into reading, there are many helpful books on the shelves these days. Don't be nervous about going into the Gay Book store, they've seen gay people there before, right?
Best wishes, brother ... GO for it!
2006-10-31 03:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by Luis 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're only 34 years old and you're talking like your life is over...my mother told me that life doesn't start until you're 40...she was wrong --it didn't really start for me until I was 55. Of course there's someone out there for you...I don't know the names of any groups but there are groups for people just like you...just pick up any local gay rag or google in for it...good luck...let the good times roll.
2006-10-31 02:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could ask the men you are watching. they might either be interested in you or they may even point you in the right direction. Please come out of the closet you shouldn't have to hide yourself. If people didn't like who you are that's their problem. Just do what you think will make you happy, I'm sure there's plenty rainbow fish in the sea for you.
Good Luck!
2006-10-31 02:22:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you sound like a wonderful man but also a sad one. I won't try to guess your reasons for staying in the closet but I am sure that there are people out there that are close to you that already know that you are gay. I think the easiest way to come out would be to one or more of your friends or family that have been dropping hints to you or questioning you that they already know. If you pay attention you will know who they are.
Good luck to you sweetheart.
2006-10-31 05:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your lengthy description of yourself leads me to believe you're using this as a dating service. How does having hazel eyes and sandy brown hair - as opposed to plain old brown hair, have anything to do with the question?
2006-10-31 07:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by Debra D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all I can't understand what you are afraid of.. I guess because I have already become comfortable with my own sexuality, ok, ok, it is akward when some people question me, but I go to places where I feel like I belong, like gay clubs.. you have to meet people who are already comfortable with bein "different"... just be glad you don't fit the boring american dream mold..... NEVER be afraid to express who you are!!
2006-10-31 02:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋