married for 14yrs,during that time you did drugs,alcohol,didn't practice your faith,cheated,then one day you snapped had enough,and left to get your head right,after one year your ok now, and have changed your life around,but all the people you used to deal with including your family won't have anything to do with you.your wife is still partying her *** off along with all the others and they live at your old residence,this includes your brother-in laws,her boyfriend, and of course the ole drug dealer who once was your friend ,but now your the wiser.do you let them have their life and you go on to live a much happier one? do you crash their party and have them all busted?do you let them keep the house and ask for her to refinance it without your name?do you ask for a buy out even if there is a twelve year old son living there?of course they're trying to prove that they are living a normal life and everything I say is bullcrap. but I'm tired of being walked on and treated like a door mat
2006-10-30 18:14:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would get a divorce, sell the house - absolutely, get custody of your 12 year old - he's not safe living with her - if you go to get custody and mention the drug habit, the judge could mandate random drug testing for her, then she can't say you're lying. Then I'd move on and let her ruin her life...You have so much life ahead of you and a lot of things to do now that you are sober. Good for you! You get a hot babe, a new house, and in 10 years when you ex looks like she's 90...you'll still be a hottie and you'll have the last laugh. But really try to get custody of your son and sell that house first. And forget all those in-laws etc...there's real people that would love to be friends with a decent guy.
2006-10-30 18:21:58 · answer #1 · answered by belleebuttons 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you've made your decision. You made it when you left to get straight. I'd say that it's your decision now to turn your back on this scene and keep walking. You don't need it. You can't help. In fact, you're the enemy now. Anyone who gets straight automatically is the enemy. However the mortgage is being paid, just let it be. If you lose the house, it's another price you'll have to pay. Your son will be the one person the hardest to walk away from. Hopefully, he will find his way to you when it's right for him. I know this all sounds easy for me to say, but I've seen what it takes from experience with a respected drug rehab program that requires cutting all ties with the past, and from a daughter who is struggling to do it now.
2006-10-31 02:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by Nightwriter21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you do is get the child out. That is the priority. Adults make their own choices, but children did not ask to be born. If the child is yours - go to the law, if it's not, bust them all for the sake of that child.
Think carefully about why you are doing this - if it's out of revenge, no good will come of it in the end. If somewhere you feel you need to intervene for their sakes, you're going to have to consider how.
Of course if the residence is in your name, you need to clear your name by disassociating yourself from it. Ask them to buy it out and if they can't then get your name off it anyways you can.
The lure to go back may hit you sometime, so it is best to do what is kind to help them, if you have the heart, but to disengage yourself completely from their lifestyle. And please, don't forget- get the child out. Social Services can take care of that.
2006-10-31 02:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound like a very good place for a 12 yr old to be, I'd make that my next priority. You seem to have gotten your head together, don't fall back into the crap you left behind.
2006-10-31 02:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just try to move on. You're doing the better thing and she will crawl back as soon as you have a new stable girlfriend and you are truly happy. Congratulations for kicking the habit it's so hard but as hard as it seems try to move on. Good Luck!!
2006-10-31 02:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by SweetHeart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have them busted, get custody of the child and then forget they ever existed.
2006-10-31 02:17:38 · answer #6 · answered by Alessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bust them. get custody of the child, and get the hell out of dodge start over and never look back.
2006-10-31 02:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by Engel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go get your son and let her pay for the house.
2006-10-31 02:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
file for custody, report them, and don't look back. that's ur best bet. Good Luck!
2006-10-31 02:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mulattogurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hard to say...i will say go with your strongest feeling about the way you want to handle this....
2006-10-31 02:50:37 · answer #10 · answered by walterknowsall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋