I am not upset that he is gay, only that his school is giving him so much trouble. Thankfully his English teacher is helping us (we are at her house now). Kids started out teasing him and now they are making death threats (hang him/shoot him). I, my son, nor his teacher can get the school to believe us or help us. They only want to blame him if he retaliates or takes up for himself. They never catch the students, only my son. Then they want to discipline him. I have decided to move, but unfortunately I am on a lay off from my work and money is scarce at this time. I will find a way to get the money to move to a more civilized community. But in the meantime, I'd like to home school my son. But the school is making it hard for us. My son's teacher let me see the wonderful advice you all gave her and encouraged me to seek help from you. Can anyone tell me what I should do? Thank you so much!
2006-10-30 17:50:52 · 19 answers · asked by Tammy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
In most communities, school boards are made up of elected officials. Anyone who is elected only has one objective, and that is to be reelected. When you complain to the school, it is from the bottom of the bureaucracy. The school will assign blame to your son because it is easier for them to do that because he is one person and to confront the ones making the threats involve more people (and parents) and they don't want to make a scene or make these problems public. We were all taught not to make a scene and that if you go through the proper channels things will work out, but as you are finding out it is not a perfect world. When you say that you are not upset that your son is gay it shows that you care and love your son. I am not presumptuous enough to tell you what your actions should be, but my suggestion would be to contact the local newspaper and television stations, or if you are in a small community to contact the largest newspaper and television outlets in your state. If your son is receiving death threats at school, keep him at home. When the state labels him as a truant, you will get an audience as to why he doesn't feel safe going to school on CNN and MSNBC.
2006-10-30 18:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, I would like to commend you on the unconditional love that you are showing your son. I wish more parents were like you. I also want to thank the teacher that is helping you and your son. It makes me happy to know that there are some teachers who are willing to step up when things get tough for our children.
I am sorry that you and your son are going though this. You would think that in the year 2006 people would be a little more enlightened than this, but unfortunately that isn't so.
As far as the school not helping your son with the death threats I would sugest that you first go to the police and get a order of protection, but I would also encourage you to go to the school board. The school may not want to dealing with this but the school board does not have a choise. Go to a board meeting they are usually open to the public and let them know how they have let your son down.
God bless you and I hope everything works out for you and your son.
2006-10-31 05:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not know much about your son, but are you sure he has formed attractions to the same gender, and do you want to help him change this or live as his emotions direct him? Did your son have a gender nonconformity, or does he? Gender nonconformity does not mean the same as being gay and many children think it does. Even some people say it is a pre requisite to being gay, but it is a separate issue and often not treated so. Your son may be criticized for the wrong reasons, and the American disabilities act will protect those with a gender nonconformity, they call it gender identity disorder. Good luck. I had a gender nonconformity and was not tormented as a child and i became gay and pretty much dysfunctional because i lived in a small town where i was raised with it being not acceptable practice, but was not even made fun of, I tormented myself. So i am happy to hear you love your son and want to help him, hope some of this i write can help you. It is true not all children that have chosen to be gay will have a gender nonconformity. You're son may have been influenced from many different ways, because a child can make a decision as a child and forget they ever made it, and often making the decision to be gay is innocently made, but as i said it is often forgotten but the emotions remains.
2006-10-31 17:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by ishelp4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thing every body is right here in some way or another
i would take it to the school board lie everyone said but if that did not work
call a TV show like sixty minutes get then on side show the world what it is really like to be gay
sadly we have all gone though some thing like this in many forms
the community need to wake up your son could be the next world leader
but if schools will not let him go to school to learn with out being picked on then the school has failed your son and th community
we have been fighting for gay rights for years
your son is prove that we have a longer fight in front of us
if you have to home school then do it
it is just a sorry thing that your poor son has to go though this
in the year 2006
sue the school if they don't listen
but make sure you try every thing before you have to
to the son good luck you seem to have a great mother and a great teacher, look after them and always remember to be your self as every one else is taken
good luck to you all you will need it
please come back if you have any other questions or need support
2006-10-31 05:26:54 · answer #4 · answered by eat it then die 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that homeschooling could be a good idea. I also agree Lambda Defense and the ACLU would be beneficial to contact. The Aclu has recently prosecuted (and won i think) a similar case against a school system that didnt provide protection against bullying of a gay student.
Many communities have alternative highschool programs now that cater to students who do no operate well in the traditional school enviroments. These are usually organized through the community college, local universities and other groups. These other programs often are more sensitive to gay students and their needs.
The final idea is to contact your school systems superintendent directly he maybe able to put pressure on your schools principal and teachers to do what is right.
2006-11-01 00:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sam L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wonderful that you're there for your son. I hope good things come your way. Seems like the answers others have given make sense. Could you talk to an attorney? See if there's a "legal aid" organization or hotline near you. "Legal aid" is something where a group of lawyers takes questions for free, usually once or twice a month. You could try that. It angers me when I hear about faculty members like the ones you describe. Folks like that say they want to make the world a better place and then exhibit behavior like you describe. Oh, one other thing - would you feel comfortable sharing your story with gay publications? I'm sure The Advocate (www.advocate.com) would be interested in hearing your story, and maybe having it printed, others could offer their suggestions and support. Or why not write to Oprah (www.oprah.com)? Seriously! Her magazine is a very positive publication and she's a positive person who loves to help people. You and your son need support. I wish you both the best - you are fortunate to have each other.
2006-10-31 02:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's terrible! I'm so sorry you are going through that and especially for your son! He definitely should be home-schooled for now and then freakin' MOVE out of that town!! Where the heck is that? I've never heard of such hostility before but then I live in California so.... I would definitely move though... contact the ACLU like someone else said. They often take up cases like this and it might be your best bet. Also if the school finds out the ACLU is coming after them they might back off and give you some leeway. Good luck to you and your son.
2006-10-31 17:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Des Demona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to the homeschool idea, I think it might be best for him right now since he's being threatened like that.
No one should have to live a life scared to go to school. I'd also get the local police involved.
If your son knows who his tormentors are, you can file a complaint against them with the police. Death threats are not acceptable and are taken VERY seriously by the police!
Another venue would be to write a letter to the Editor of your local news papers and/or contact your local news television stations. Alert them to these threats your son is recieving. NEVER THROW OUT ANYTHING as far as proof that he's being threatened.
Make this as public as possible!
Embarras and get those who are offending in some MAJOR hot water!
Protect your child anyway you can!
2006-10-31 02:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by DEATH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kids are the cruelest people and unfortunately it happens in every school. I would try your GLBT center, i volunteer at one in Colorado, they have tons of support there for our young gay people. They could also help you out with your troubles with the school, where i am they helped a woman (was once a man) who was having discimination problems with the grocery store she worked for, it was over which restroom she should use of all things ( what is the world coming to) they helped her with all that she needed, it went to court and she won..I also agree with what everyone else is saying in here, go to the school board, go to the head of whatever you need to, damn go to their parents. You should not have to move, its not right to let them get away with it. But on the other hand you know what is best for you and your son..I am also a mother, i came out late in life and my daughter (11 at the time) was teased on her way home on the bus cuz my partner and i would be there waiting for her to get off everyday..they said some very cruel things about me but they never threatened her life, it didnt really bother her too much she ignored most of it, god bless her ever loving heart, i told her what to say to these girls and after a while they stopped teasing her. Its hard to ignore them, but once they see its not getting to you anymore they give up.
You should be awarded the medal of honour for the undying love and support you have for your son, and his teacher needs to be commended as well, there should be more people like you in the world, there is way too much hatred.
Keep up the good work, you are an excellent mother...you should be framed in gold...
Good luck to you and your son, may the forces be with you...
2006-10-31 11:30:11 · answer #9 · answered by geminilovingacancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One idea that comes to mind about no one beliving what you or your son is saying about the kids making death treats to him and so on is this.. I have trouble some times at work with people making rude and dumb coments about me and being gay so i have a tape recorder hidin in my tool box here at work and if im walking through the place i have the tape recorder with me and when or if im stoped by someone i normaly hit record on it so i have somthing on tape to prove what he she said to me that was rude and so on and that has helped me get ride of some jerks from this place and a way for others to get on your side and to start beliving what you or your kid says and you can take the tape to the police or the head of the school board... No matter were you move too their will always be people like this you will half to deal with so if your comfortable with your surounding and were you are at stay thier and fight this thing to the end instead of running away and letting them win this battle becouse you will find this junk happens were every you go..
2006-10-31 07:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by micheal p 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋