We've been married 15 years, have 3 kids. She doesn't like oral sex (giving or receiving). She didn't seem like a prude when I married her, but now she's just tired all the time and doesn't want to try anything new. Help!
2006-10-30 17:33:48 · 18 answers · asked by tex37curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Update: I cook more than 50% of the time; I do laundry; I have a good job and we take great vacations. We've talked about this issue, but no matter what, we have 5-6 minutes of foreplay and 5-6 minutes of perfunctory sex about once a week. She's really hot (and I let her know that I think she's really attractive) but she just doesn't seem to respond.
2006-10-30 17:41:31 · update #1
Did you ever think the reason she is tired and doesn't want to try anything is because, of the 3 kids..hmmm? If it has got to the point that you have post questions about your sex life on Yahoo Answers, don't you think you should sit down and talk to her, without the kids. Get a sitter. Better yet, Get one of the grandparents to watch the kids for a couple days and take her away from it all. Go to a cozy little B&B and relax. Talk to her about how you feel and romance her like you did when you first met her. Pamper her, give her love notes, roses, something to make her feel like she is your special girl again. Then if things don't turn around, see a counselor. In any case, Good Luck.
2006-10-30 17:41:36 · answer #1 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is: an external influence. Stress perhaps. Of all the women I've been involved with in my 58 years, I have found it is an external stressor which contributed to a decrase in libido (hers or mine), which seems to be the case from what you describe. There could be a medical caus/e as well. You need to investigate both possibilities further before asking this question. I have found the wome I have known are really com[lex to my way of thinking as a guy. Time to look at what caused this. There is a reason. people, your wife, do not do something or stop doing something for nothing. There is a reason. It is up to you to find this reson, and ten to do something about it.
I wish I had a concrete answer, but alas, I do not.
2006-10-30 18:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by rowlfe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Foreplay starts the second you wake in the morning! I'm not kidding either! Help around the house, pick-up the kids, go to church with her (dont sleep in). Tell her to go out for a cup of coffee by herself, and take some time away. You will be surprised how much more energy she will have at the end of the night if YOU jump up and do the dishes for her! Sometimes sex seems to be one of the items on a "to do" list. Help her cross off her "to do" list and you will see the results!!
Good luck!
2006-10-30 17:41:42 · answer #3 · answered by Kymmie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm that odd.Did she ever like oral? Life stresses can definately zap your sex life.Is she going through menopause? The best thing to do is talk to her and find out what she likes.ITs so rare for women not to like foreplay since less than 40% can have an orgasm on penetration alone...
2006-10-30 17:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by TJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, have you heard of menopause. You need to watch out for signs of its onset.
In addition, she has 3 kids, so she might really be tired.
Females bond more with people who care for them emotionally
So try to think when you helped her last with her household chores of taking care of kids etc.. After you have done that 10 times, try asking her again. Chances are she might be receptive to foreplay , not others that you mention in your question
2006-10-30 17:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by rvsasi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is tired so you need to help her out in the home or hire a maid, to help her...get a sitter and start dating her again, send her to the Beauty shop and get her to get a massage, and hair done, nails, her toes done..buy her flowers,Make a date night often to bring back the Romance into the marriage...redo your bedroom new, paint, carpet, bed, etc...make her feel like a woman again..she has lost herself...make her find that beautiful woman you were once attacted to...then she will want to...
2006-10-30 17:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is more to foreplay than oral. Try asking her what she would like. Inspire her.
Wine and dine her. Be sweet. If you are married for 15 years then you are bound to know what she will think is sweet.
2006-10-30 17:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by misjes2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might need to improve on the technique of foreplay and be a little more romantic. Sit down together in a candle lit room, sipping some lovely wine or a liquor. Pamper her a little and perhaps give her a lovely sensual massage. Show her you are not a bore and you have a lot to offer.
Perhaps she really is tired and needs to get away from it all. Take her on a lovely weekend away, just the two of you, somewhere romantic, a house by the sea etc.
You've got nothing to loose and a lot to gain if you try it, so good luck.
2006-10-30 17:41:49 · answer #8 · answered by slipper 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Dear, the first thing I would say is to TALK it out. If that doesn't work, see if she'll get sex thearapy with you. Sex is importatn so should be really a high priority to fix if problems present.
2006-10-30 18:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by miss_princess_goddess 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stress and a change of scenery for her. Dude wives behave weird after a while. You have to just bow down and ask her what she really wants. Like get in her head.
2006-10-30 18:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by aukasted1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋