In June, I ran into my ex bf who I had known since I was 13 before we had a major fight when I was 18. I ran off. Months later I married this guy. He was good at first. After I had our first child, he became violent and started to show his true colors. Now it's been 5 years, almost. We have two children. My ex had not given me his addy or number. So, I did my own little detective work and found him. We hooked up and started chatting on my cell phone. Eventually, one thing led to another and I was feeling happier than ever because somebody actually wanted me and didn't insult or harm me constantly. I mean, my husband has broken my ankle, but he won't let me go with our daughter. My ex has told me that "No matter who you marry, you'll always belong to me" and that he was looking for me for all these years. I'm not going to lie, I thought about him everyday too. Should I leave my husband, when our marriage is basically just a piece of paper saying we share the same last name
2006-10-30 17:05:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've always been in love with him. I've been looking for him for a couple of years. He claims he did the same but didn't know where to look. We both feel the same and don't regret any of our actions.
2006-10-30 17:13:39 · update #1
My children are always with me. He's gotten to know the both of them quite well. he's actually acting like a father. More so than her own. If she cries for chocolate, he gives it to her. She's already got him wrapped around her finger.
2006-10-30 17:15:00 · update #2
If u want to leave your husband, do it because he is being abusive to u, not because u want to be with your ex. U and your children's safety should always come first.
2006-10-30 17:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how religious you are, but plenty of religious people on this site will tell you to honor your marriage vows, "for better or worse". That being said, I am not religious and live in new york city. I'm going to give you a straight answer.
Relationships are hard and we don't always make the right choices. That your husband has broken your ankle and otherwise harmed you emotionally as well as physically, is wrong. Does he deserve to lose his wife? Maybe not, but do you deserve to have a husband that treats you right? DEFINITELY. I won't say, 'yes leave your husband', you know the answer already, but have reservations about doing it one way or the other. Follow your heart, yet remember your children. If you are fearing for the safety of your children, that is a more dangerous situation, and maybe you should leave in that case.
On the other hand, your ex-boyfriend doesn't sound like he will the nicest person either. That he said that statement 'No matter who you marry, you'll always belong to me' is an extremely presumptuous and possessive thing to say to a married woman. Perhaps dangerously possessive. Remember whoever you go to, your children go to. Maybe leaving your husband would be best for you, and to start DATING your ex, not get married to him. A second mistake wouldn't make the first go away. Yeah, you'll be a single mom, which is a hard situation to find a date in, but no one said life was easy. It should be, though, fulfilling. Do what you need to to fulfill yourself, while keeping your children in mind. Good luck hon, if you can, let me know what you decide please.
2006-10-30 17:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by TwilightWalker97 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry that your husband is such a coward that he would lay a hand on the mother of his children. Your situation is not uncommon and is for too many woman a way of life. You should never stay with someone who is abusive in any way even if he is the father of your children. You need not only think of yourself but for children as well. You staying with an abusive husband is only showing your children that this type of lifestyle is okay. Ditch your husband but at the same time don't go running to the first man that will have you(even if you were an item at one time). If you want to be with him because he treats you good or because you feel good being with him than that is your decision but keep in mind your a strong, beautiful woman and you and your children deserve the best. Take care of you and your babies.
2006-10-30 17:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra_aiyana 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all I want to say that I am very sorry to hear about your current marriage. Relationships really can fall apart quickly after someone's "true colors" come out. My adivce is - YES! Leave your husband. As much as everyone would like to think, your relationship is basically wasting your time. You are a VALUABLE PERSON and he is not treating you accordingly. You deserve much better than this. So do your kids. Your kids need to grow up with a good role model who lives by example, and it doesn't sound like your husband is exactly providing this. Your ex sounds like a good guy. He may or may not be the one to settle down with. But for the sake of your kids, I say end the relationship with your husband, however you think you can do it without hurting yourself or your kids. There is also help out there to leave abusive relationships. You can get full time custody of your kids, easily, by just telling the court what you said in this letter, that he broke your ankle. To me that sounds pretty serious, and the abuse is tearing your family apart. Sorry I couldn't offer more advice on hooking back up with your ex (i'm sure it will just come with time, things will work out if they are meant to) But I can just say, for the sake of your kids, please leave your husband. THE VERY BEST OF LUCK TO YOU! I hope everything really works out for you, I sincerely do. You and your kids can make it out of this abusive relationship.
2006-10-30 17:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by dumpsterdd90 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe. But, you have two kids to think about before you think about yourself. Instead of calling old boyfriends, you should be focussing on your family. Your husband is abusing you and you are taking it. Something is very wrong with that picture. You need to get you and your children out of harm's way and get professional (and legal) help. The last thing you need right now is an old boyfriend. Time to take charge of your life and be the mother your children need. Get going.
2006-10-30 17:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ask yourself whether you would still be leaving your marriage if you didnt have this relationship with your ex to fall back on?If the answer is yes...go ahead sweetheart and the very best of luck to you.
From what you say...your marriage needs to be ended....do it for yourself and your kids...but before that make sure that you can provide for your children and dont need to depend on ANYONE however nice and devoted to you for the food and clothes you and your children will need.Get a job that supports you and your kids....HAVE A GREAT LIFE HONEY !!!!
2006-10-30 18:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by alwaysimpulsive 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should leave your husband either way.If you dont want to for yourself, do it for your children.Are you just happy that someone is showing you the affection you deserve or have you always wanted to be with your ex.Once you can answer that question you have your answer.Dont do yourself more harm by jumping from relationship to relationship just to be with someone.Listen to your head not your heart.Good luck lovey.
2006-10-30 17:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by TJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave girl. Good luck. Follow your heart. This sounds like it could all end in a really good way for you. Do it now and don't waste another day in an unhappy home!
2006-10-30 17:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by sweetie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U should do anything that will make u happy and not regret a thing u r going to do! cuz thats what life is all about... Good luck!
2006-10-30 17:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by aL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
petition for a restraining order and definately get a divorce. if you have any kind of evidance that he has mentally or physically abused you then you can easily gain full legal and soul custody of you children.
2006-10-30 17:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by rickys_lil_mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋