Should I leave my Husband?

Question

I married my husband because my mom said i should on her death bed. I have never trusted him because he is a pathological liar,he lies just to be in a conversation. He has cheated before but will never admit it. He has been caught flirting with teenagers but says he is saved now. We don't have sex ,but he swears he loves me,and now he just irritates me,I have never really felt like he loves me. The only reasons I havent left is because I have 4 kids 2 are his and because marriage is honorable in Gods eyes.I am so confused . I have tried to leave but he always says he can do better.Its been 6 years now no better. Please help!!!!!

Answer 1

Well you certainly didn't get off to a good start considering you married him just because of something your mother said on her death bed. Your mother, may she rest in peace, was not even 1 part of this 2 part relationship. She could not have known him like you really did. Marriage is honorable in God's eyes but you have to wonder if God honored this commitment that was founded on something other than love and a real desire to spend your lives together.

As for no sex, c'mon, he's a MAN! He's getting it from somewhere unless he decided in his conversion to become a Priest. I personally couldn't live in a sex-less marriage.

If there is no love there, do you really feel you are doing your kids justice by staying with someone for the wrong reasons? If they live in a household without love that is what they will see as "normal" and that is what they will look for and expect in their lives with their future spouses. Do you want them to end up with someone like your husband? A liar and a cheat. Do you want the same life for them that you are now living? The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

I pray that God will give you guidance. Turn to Him for strength and He will lead you in the right direction.

Answer 2

You married for the wrong reasons. But you're not the only one in the world who's done this. The best thing now is to try to save your marriage for the kids...you can do this by marriage counselling because whatever happens your kids need a father around but not an unhappy mother. Get counselling so that you don't divorce for the wrong reasons even though you got married for the wrong ones.

Answer 3

This is SO hard honey and there are some important things that you need to think about.
You say that two of your children are his. Is he a good father to the children? Both the ones that are his and the ones that are not? Is he a good provider? Does he do a good job of providing for the family? Does he make it so that you do not have to work? Does he drink? Is he every violent? Do you have things in common and does he think of you? Does he do things that make you happy? Does he do things that are fun for you? Does he love you?
Finally, and I have to ask you this, is the sex good?
Answer those questions straight from your heart and then think long and hard about what you should do. Be sure that you search your soul. Think of the ramifications for the children too, you are not the only one that is going to be affected by the decision that you make honey. Think of all the pros and cons. Even make a list on paper if it helps you think.
Good luck honey and I hope I have given you some things to think about.
Blessings,
Lady Trinity~

Answer 4

then you married under false premises
God condemns the liars
pressing yourself into marriage jusrt because it was on your Mother deathg bed is NEVER a reason to do it, no matter what her wishes
you do have say and a choice
the fact you are considering divorce now is due to the fact that you are becoming self aware
and that is powerful for you.. and frighting for him
children are always best served ina 2 parent LOVING household
so being a divorce mother is better if your happier there
then a emotional torn women with a liar of a man inside of a marriage, the children will see this and will grow up damaged as adults with emotional scars to show for it
so your best option is to divorce

Answer 5

I am not going to begin to enter into whether or not you should leave this man based on what little you have disclosed here but bear in mind that every behaviour you exhibit in front of your children will have a direct impact on how they themselves will behave. If you're home is not a happy one and your husband lies, what kind of information are your children absorbing? Leaving the marriage is not necessarily the answer, but some sort of action (perhaps counselling) needs to be taken.

Answer 6

You should never ever marry someone just because one of your family member is dying. You are only hurting yourself in the long run. Remember, its not your mother thats marrying him and living w/ him. Its YOU. I don't mean no disrespect but I am being honest with you or trying to sound ugly. Don't use your kids as an excuse either. It will be hard and some struggling but it will be worth it if it makes you happy. You been living without him or anyone before..what makes you think you can't do it on your own. Look around you, there are lots of single women who is making it on her own. I am one. I go to work,school, and watch my daughter. Its tiredsome but worth it overall. You just have to pray to GOD and ask him if he is the right one for you if not ask God to send him away. I know it will happen b/c it happens to me. I hope that you will find your path and pls be strong because if you don't then who will be strong for you? Only you can be strong for yourself and never give up. You can't lose to the devil "I can't do it". Change your mind and be pro-active. Good Luck and I will pray for you.

Answer 7

only you and your heart know the true awnser to that dear lady . there is always services out there to help you get on your fee. . first think about this . if you didn't love him in the first place why wast the year's . cause once they are gone you can't get them back ., then ask yourself . can you find and keep a job and prove to him and yourself . that you can stand on your own . you don't need a man in your life that is going to treat you like dirt. it has to be a two way street . now .would you like to be happy . or live with a cheater that treat's you lower than you deserve to be treated . for every one there is some one , i have been divorced for 14 year's . yea its hard . but i am happy . good luck dear lady .

Answer 8

if he cheated on u then hell ya leave that asshole
u can get better than him, someone who appriciates u and values u. not someone who treats u like u don't exist. he doesn't seem to care about u a bit. if he loves u that why wont he show it. someone who truely loves u is never ever afraid to show it that he loves u with his heart. this guy seems like a pathetic liar and untrustworthy man.
i understand why u married him in the first place cuz u didn't want to hurt ur mother feelings especially since she said asked u to marry him a few moments before she died on her death bed. But still u have got my make a good decision, knowing wats best for u. Yes u did make ur mother happy, but wat about urself? do u feel like u love him? NO! did u make urself happy?
JUST LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND KNOW THAT WATEVER DECISION UR GOING TO MAKE GOD WILL HELP U.
LEave HIm, better late thenn never. u must be with someone who u are going to enjoy spending the rest of ur life with him and knowing that he will always be by ur side, give u a shoulder to lean and cry on. someone who always has to be there for u through the good and the bad times.
U deserve a better man someone who values u.
Hope I helped u Enough and good luck with ur decision.

Answer 9

Whew...First you are right marriage is honarable in god's eyes, but you don't get married because of no one but you so it was doomed from the start. Love is an action word and from what you say he does not love you. Don't stay because of the kids that is no reason god also said he will supply all your needs get your kids and go before it's to late.

Answer 10

According to the Bible, divorce is justified in case of adultery so I think you're covered there. Can you get him to counseling? If not, I would say you might be better off to leave. I would not normally encourage someone to do that but since he's cheated and you can't believe anything he says it might be the best thing.