I was with my bf early last yr n things did'nt turn out right,so we separated..i meet him 2 months back and we are together now..b4 we were officially an item..he confessed that there was this girl he was with aft me n him broke up.And he got her pregnant n he ask her to abort it.I got so freak out coz he is really a nice guy.He hates her attitude coz she has this very bad temper n tantrum.He can't be with somone like her.They abort the baby and the 2nd time she had a miscarrige.Eventually they broke up but she still wants him.She will even slit her arm to make him stay.
Now me n him are together but the incident of him n the x gf kept running in my mind..I know it's his past..but..If i were to have his baby one day i wont feel special coz my baby is nt his 1st child.. How do i accept all that has happen in a positive way coz i really want this to work..i love him but i wanna be special.n i dun feel tat way aft what happen btw him n the ex gf..
2006-10-30 15:39:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
everyone has had a past and you and he were broken up than. forget about this other girl, it's not about her it's about you and your boyfriend. u are special to him, you are together now, forget about his past, and forget about this woman, she is not important she is not what you are suppose to focus on.your feeling upset because you wonder how he could have ever gotten mixed up with someone like her, but we all make mistakes. don't consentrate on this other woman it will hurt your relationship.
2006-10-30 15:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand. Looks like you have had a physical relationship with this guy. Once you have crossed the line in having a physical relatioship, whether your/his baby is the first one for him should not make a difference to you. What if tomorrow you marry someone else, you have still not had the first physical relationship with the new guy. So should he feel this for his entire life ? Sex is the culmination of love, but what is important is that he cares about you. However I see some issues in this personality of your b/f. So before you proceed the whole lot, this is my analysis
+ve things I see
a) He has shared his history with you, shows his integrity
b) You still like him, so you have some commonality to make it work
c) He does not like his previous gf
-ve things
a) She won't give up. Since she has had a miscarriage, he is partly responsible. He can't runaway from this responsibility and
has not discharged it completely.
b) He might me a good guy, but he seems to run away from problems laying the responsibility on others. Can this man be trusted, when you run into any difficulties. Think about this
I see big negatives and redflags for you to continue. But it is your choice
Suggestion
a) Put him through some tests to see how he handles (b), Assuming you get into some trouble, does he rescue you and run away again. Is he Mr. reliable ?
b) Try to talk directly to his previous g/f to see if you can get any info about what happened. If you hear a drastically different accounts, it is time for you to become a detective and figure out which account is correcct. I think you need to investigate this further
After you get your answers, make an informed choice, but right now I see an emotional interest but not an informed one
2006-10-31 00:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by rvsasi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he got her pregnant a second time, after she had an abortion with the first baby, then obviously he should be smarter than that. You won't feel special if you have a baby with him, so you are better off not doing it. A relationship is based on trust and communication. Express your feelings to him and then you need to figure out whether you can "forget the past". Personally, I wouldn't want to have a child with someone that obviously hasn't put much thought in the responsibility of his actions.
2006-10-30 23:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by cricketfish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your Mr. Nice guy isn't such a nice guy after all. Glad you've woken up to this fault. That been said, you should think of having a baby with him after getting married and this is the child that you know of (with his ex girlfriend)...how do you know its his only one. He might have had sex with other girls who might also be pregnant so you're never going to feel 'special' for having his first child. He also showed amazing irresponsibility by getting the same girl pregnant twice, I mean he had sex with her (okay with him) and then he doesn't want to face the consequences like a man?! He doesn't sound very principled to me. I mean, if he didn't like her, why did he take her to bed and get her pregnant again? He screwed her but now he doesn't think he wants to stay with her? I think you're spoiling your life by staying with this idiot, he sounds way too bad to me.
2006-10-30 23:56:59 · answer #4 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry girl but your are in love with a killer. If he pregants a girl and makes the girl abort for ehatever reason, the man and woman are killers and have no place here on earth. what if we were all aborted....
Abortion is inexcusable
2006-10-30 23:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BAD BF....get out of the relationship....There are other guys that think you are very special. Your bf has too much baggage....GET OUT while you can.
2006-10-30 23:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel that way i dont think you two should be together. If you were ment to be together you would not care about his past
2006-10-30 23:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ease up on your conclusion reaching.
2006-10-30 23:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be firm to talk straight to him, ask him to be faithful and honest to your love
2006-10-30 23:55:30 · answer #9 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might not be his first kid but it will be your kid the first time... you and him....not other... you guys will do fine....
2006-10-30 23:49:18 · answer #10 · answered by pheobe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋