my bf and i broke up...we would have been 3 years in December. we have been talking a LITTLE bit..but not about the relationship just about our days and things..
were not screaming at each other or crying...
well i would like to be friends with him and just be able to hang out and have fun. and if something were to happen along the way then it happens and were meant to be.
we broke up because supposedly "i made him late to everything" we werent living together because im only 19 and he's only 21.
he said we fought too much over stupid little things and it was getting annoying. he said it was a relief that the fighting was done.
he said he doesnt miss the fighting or the lateness.
so he misses the rest of me? he said he was happy without those things.
well i just want to be friends with him...how should i suggest it to him? i don't want to be shot down.
he doesn't want to be tied down and i want nothing serious either..just friends...what do i say?
2006-10-30 14:41:54 · 8 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
NOTE--he was the one who broke up with me..it wasnt mutual
"i have to do something on friday would you be interested in coming with me?''
OR
"i think we should be friends lets hang out sometime soon"
I BELIEVE if i use the second one he will say "OKAY" but will keep saying "OKAY" everytime i ask but wont actually hang out with me
2006-10-30 14:43:23 · update #1
You have posted the same question over and over, but, change the wording. Its almost like you need the approval of total strangers for being so clingy to this guy. If he wanted to break up with you for the lame excuse of making him late, then that should tell you something right there....
You say you dont want to be shot down, then stop sounding and acting so hard up to him.... back off and give him a chance to come to you, LET HIM COME TO YOU..
2006-11-01 02:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by ~*LILY*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Honey, but you are sounding a little desperate.
The most telling part was when you said it was his idea to break up, not yours.
A 3 yr relationship is hard to let go of, especially when it wasn't your idea in the 1st place, so you are reaching out for a little piece of thread to hang on to him with.
Why prolong the pain? There will be plenty of time later to nurture a friendship with him if you both want it, but for now maybe it would be best if you moved on.
Don't be so quick to accept the blame that he dumped on you for the end of the relationship either. Just tell yourself that it wasn't a good match.
You're 19, that's really young, & you don't need to tie yourself down with a serious relationship. The time from 16 to 19 should be filled with lots of dates with lots of different guys, not tied up in a long term relationship.
Go out, have fun, date a lot of guys. Make up for lost time if you can before you tie yourself down in another dead end relationship.
2006-10-30 22:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and him can't ever go back to being just friends.He doesn't miss the fighting or the lateness,but did he say he misses the other parts?Or are you adding the rest yourself?You won't have to worry about the feeling of being shot down if you don't expect more than being friends .Or have any underlying motives of being more than his friend.As i said,you too had to much time together for you to be just friends.You may not what to say anything and just go on with your own life.
2006-10-30 23:15:39 · answer #3 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years =[ I'm sorry girl <(^-^)> *Hugs*
Anyways!
From my experience with guys, I just have to tell you that EACH & EVERY one of my bf's still don't talk to me! At all, The day we broke up, I guess they were all to heartbroken to even see me again..or maybe I just wasn't important enough...what ever, of subject...unless I have really bad taste in guys, couples just can't be friends after such a long period of time being with each other...It sucks...trust me I know...but you know that's life for you..they come & go..move on down to the next one..why stay in the past? when you can move forward? SO, with all that said! I think you shouldn't even be concerned about it. He's the one who broke up with you... yes you should ask him if he still wants to be friends..BUT JUST ASK HIM ONCE! Then let him make that dicision...Your putting the effort..you shouldn't have to beg him..If he wants to be friends than kewl....if not..f*ck em'! Ha-ha...Seriously...don't even kill your self over a guy! I know it's hard but just think "THERE'S PLENTY OF OTHERS OUT THERE, TWICE AS BETTER!" Ok, GOOD luck girl =]
2006-10-30 22:55:46 · answer #4 · answered by Savanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are setting yourself up for heartache. Just let him go. He says the fighting and the lateness are not worth being with you. You SAY you want to be friends, but you're hoping he'll change his mind.
2006-10-30 22:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you want to be his friend and act just like a friend would. Avoid too much contact early on; that might restart a relationship that you extinguished. Play it safe, and just hang out with him.
2006-10-30 22:44:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jesus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you understand that you and him are no longer a couple but still would like to hang out..just be yourself..let him know that your not looking for a relationship just good friends..tell him just like you told us..good luck dear, not that your gonna need it
2006-10-30 22:46:49 · answer #7 · answered by becca j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't force yourself with someone who doesn't like you. you're just hurting and fooling yourself, ne?
2006-10-30 22:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋