He says he will pay support and forget it, but I know he goes over to her apt behind my back. She even told him to leave me and be with her. The hard part is he denies that he goes to see the child, so when I bring it up he tells me I'm crazy! When they fight he brings me into it, otherwise I don't hear about it. He blames her for calling him. He won't admit to anything! To make matters worse she was due on the same day I was, only I lost my son due to placenta abruption at 30 weeks. I don't know what to do b/c he is married to me and told me if he wanted to be with her he would have left me long ago.
2006-10-30 14:33:59 · 40 answers · asked by Angel2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's got his cake and gets to eat it too. The longer you put up with this, the harder the divorce will be.
2006-10-30 14:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by shojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well looks to me you have 2 options.... first to embrace this child as a step child and embrace the family. Or you can divorce him. Sometimes, it's tough but this same thing happened to my cousin. She was completely devastated, but she came around to the child and now is like one of our whole family. Sometimes in life you have to take a step back and weigh the pro's and con's. It's not the childs fault this happened, I would have your husband be part of the childs life as for his adultery that is up to you. Either forgive him or if you can't then get out of the relationship. Trust is a very fragile thing and if it's broken is very hard to repair.
I also suggest couples counseling. Maybe there you and he can get some assistance on how to handle this together. Also then it's not one pointing fingers.
2006-10-30 14:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but that would be a definite deal breaker for me. Why would you accept a child that was fathered by him while he was married to you, and you are not the mother? I don't see anything to be confused about here. Go out and find someone who deserves you. Don't stay with this bum, no matter what kind fo stories he comes up with to justify himself. He is a cheat and a liar. He deserves no sympathy or forgiveness.
Best wishes, I hope you can move away from him.
2006-10-30 15:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might assume that that's a advance spurt as others have reported. i does no longer be bothered if the Dr. has no longer addressed the subject of the load benefit. I merely had my first infant 6 a million/2 weeks in the past. She became SGA (small for gestational age) and left the medical institution weighing 5.9 lbs. At her final appointment she weighed 8 lbs. which ability she gained approximately 1oz an afternoon. you will possibly think of this is lots, even nevertheless that's not (she is amazingly healthful). i might communicate on your Pedi while you're worried. they're there to respond to any questions that would upward thrust up regarding your infant. endure in ideas, you're actually not bothering them once you call. they're used to new mothers and dads calling them for tips. additionally, please do no longer provide your 2 month previous rice cereal jumbled of their breast milk or formulation. look for suggestion out of your pediatrician with reference to the concerns you have.
2016-12-09 00:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you plan on staying together, then you do need to accept the situation. Talk to your husband and seriously figure out how this is affecting your marriage and compromise what you expect from one another in terms of the child. If you're okay with him seeing the baby, then let him know, more than once if necessary.
2006-10-30 14:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by globalsoule 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly think you should accept the baby because at the end is not the baby's fault to have such a dog dad.
You should consider talking to him about bringing the baby every other weekend to be with you and him ONLY.
If he accepts you will then know how much he is willing to try out to recover your marriage. If he doesn't probably he really doesn't want to be with you.
I am sorry to read that you lost your baby, but keep in mind that you still have the opportunity to have another one.
Give your husband another opportunity and also give another one to yourself.
God Luck and God Bless you baby Angel and his baby!
2006-10-30 14:45:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth hell **** no. But that's my opinion. If you think he's still seeing her behind her back, again my opinion you should leave because right there he is not respecting you and treating you like you should. Also, It's depends on your love for him. If you love him enough to forgive and forget, then you'll decide. If you love him but you can't fogive , then it's up to you to decide. Again this is my opinion and I'm not telling you to follow it. I just giving an over view. if you want to talk to someone about it I suggest you talk to a consuler or with a reletaive that you can trust and that you're close to.
2006-10-30 14:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the same thing happend to me seven years ago.. I did accept my stepdaugther sense day one,but I never did forgive my husband,I left for two years,I left to philadelphia and left him to do what ever he wanted for two years and the only thing he did was run behind me.. I wish your husband comes to his senses too..I gave my husband a choice either her or me.. he wasnt going to be with both of us.. today seven years later we have his little girl due to her mother being worthless GOD put that child in your way for a reason.. I think the kids have no fault for what their parents do.. I think you should open up to the idea of him seeing his child at your home that way he has no reason to go behind your back to go see his child..and the other woman its going to have to give rights to visitation if she wants that child support... If your husband still with you is for a reason everybody sometime gets tempted and do something stuped.. I believe that what happend with me and my husband after many years brought us back together and stronger than ever... do we still have trust issues yes we do and we always will but if we love eachother we learn to compromise and so will you and your husband,but you have to be strong and let him know that he has to choose and stick by it... I played my last card by leaving him and I knew I would problably loose him by leaving for two years but i had to make sure that his relationship with that woman was over.. when I came back how about I find out she had married to his cousin and that they turn in to crack heads wich is why we have custody of his daugther now.... God works in mistereous ways.. have faith and keep your head up.. and Remember that baby is as much as victim as you are.. good luck.God bless you and your family.....
2006-10-30 15:01:55 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about how your decision makes you feel about yourself. This is very individual. If I were in your situation and I tried to accept this, I would feel bad about myself, like I had little self respect. I could never be *truly* happy. The fact that he cheated on you was obviously a form of lying, and now he's lying even more. If I were to stay with someone who couldn't respect me enough to stay faithful *and* truthful, then I wouldn't have respect for myself...probably why I'd be attracting someone who didn't have respect for me either.
2006-10-30 14:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know he said he's married to you and if he wanted to be with her he would have left you a long time ago. But, his actions are speaking loudly and clearly for themselves. It sounds to me like he is still seeing her. Sorry to be harsh, but he wants the best of both worlds; he wants to have both of you. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. And I know he said what he said, but the fact is that he's lying to you about other things, and you know it, so how can you believe anything he says?
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this situation. It sounds heartbreaking. I hope that it all ends well for you.
2006-10-30 14:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your grief at loosing your baby is still fresh but he has his baby.My god! this is really horrible .you are weakened now because of that loss and instead of loving you and taking care of you he rubs it in your face ! I don't care how you ended here it is a sad mess and you are the victim of a selfish man .you can not tell him not to see his child ,but you must not stay and be disrespected like this .He will not respect you ,the reason he has not left is because he can have his cake and eat it too ,he wants you both and he thinks its OK. LEAVE it is not OK.
2006-10-30 15:14:45 · answer #11 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋