My boyfriends daughter was killed in a car wreck on halloween night.She was a senior in high school with my son.I want to help him get his mind off of it but I don't want him to be uncomfortable if he wants to talk about it.Any suggestions as to what I might do to help?
2006-10-30 14:13:44 · 7 answers · asked by memeemelissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Make sure You are with Him. Make a nice dinner, and just be there for Him. If He feels like talking about Her, listen. The anniversary of a death is a very difficult day to get through. But it is also a day of remembrance. God Bless You Both, what a very hard night to have to go through this, the one night Children come to Your door in droves. Trust Me it will be very much on His mind. Everyone deals with this differently, You are just going to have to play it by ear, and do the best You can.
Again God Bless You Both....So sorry for His loss
2006-10-30 14:37:05 · answer #1 · answered by JusticeStandsTall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will probably be experiencing what they call shadow grief. Maybe you should ask him what he feel he needs to do to deal with the sadness on this day. Not talking about the person who died doesn't help. The parent usually wishes to acknowledge the life of their child and reminisce about what a wonderful person they were. You can set aside the day to honour her memory. Invite a few people over who were close to her, make her favourite meal and talk and laugh about what a difference your lives were from being enriched by her personality and influence. I hope this helps but remember that everyone grieves in their own way and your boyfriend may just wish to have a quiet day and place flower at her gravesite. Maybe placing a memorian in the paper will help him know that nobody has forgotten his lovely daughter.
2006-10-30 22:26:12 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant get it off of his mind. thats just not right. what he needs is a shoulder to cry on. heres what you should do. buy two candles. go with him to a quiet place where you are alone. perferably outside, where the air is fresh and such. give him a candle and you take one. light them both. fire represents life. dont make him talk but just tell him that the candle will help him reach his daughter. with you holding the candle too, its being supportive. tell him to remember the great things about her and it will help him feel better, closer to his daughter. then when you feel that your "healing: is donr set the candles down and let them burn for a while. at the end of the night you can put them out together. you could do that every year. its what we do on the anniversary of my moms death. it really helps.
2006-10-30 22:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by Amyscastle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him. Nothing anyone can really do to take away the pain of losing a loved one. Let him talk if he chooses and if he doesn't just hold him and let him grieve in peace. It is a horrible thing to get over but also remember you at this time of the year too.
2006-10-30 22:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he feels the need to talk to you about it just listen. You don't need to comment as listening goes a very long way. You will be helping more than you no by not bringing it up.
2006-10-30 22:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you could do is be there for him..because i dont think something like that willnever leave his mind. It just takes time alot of time.
2006-10-30 22:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by Tbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will never be out of his mind no matter what you do.. just
comfort him and talk if he wants to..
2006-10-30 22:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by Mary S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋