i'm due to have my 3rd child December 27th. My other kids are 8.5 and 10.5 this baby was unplanned not unwanted. I don't remember having all this anxity over my others childrens pending birth. i just feel i'm not ready for this baby. I feel like i am being ask to give up myself all over again. The other kids are old enough i don't feel TIED to them. I have not changed a diaper in 7 years. Is it common to have all these fears?. I just remember excitment with the 1st two. NOW i'm worried about daycare, work, breastfeeding, the adjustment to a new person. What are some ways to feel better mentally about the birth?
2006-10-30 14:08:41 · 11 answers · asked by ally'smom 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I went through this with my second child. And I was worried that I might actually resent him. But I never did, and after a few days it was really ok. I was in the "groove" so-to-speak. Everything came back to me. It's been 6 months now and everything is great. I think it's harder to anticipate it, then to actually live it. You will be ok! Good luck and Congratulations!
2006-10-30 14:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by Theresa M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't know if this helps, but I felt this way while waiting for my first baby, who was unplanned but not unwanted. Things that made me feel better: planning out the way I would handle the things I was upset about. (Like, I won't be able to do things w/ my friends, so how can I still find ways to get w/ friends while I'm tied down w/ a newborn?) Sounds stupid, but that's how I mentally prepared myself for everything from unwanted weight gain (gym/diet plan) to loss of self (what kind of outlets will I need to feel like ME? how can I get my family and friends to help me get these every now and then?).
Then, when the time came, I found that I could accept what was happening, and really live in the moment, by promising myself that I would get back to those things in a few years.
2006-10-30 16:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm young and After I had my son it was 9 months I got married and had a huge wedding. I had a great honeymoon and when I got back and 2 weeks passed I found out I was pregnant. I was so depressed I just got married and didn't want a baby until my son was potty trained and 3. I didn't want to be pregnant and denied the baby the whole time. As soon as the baby was born, everything changed and I pushed my worries aside and new that this baby doesn't have any problems in life yet and that's how it is going to be from now on. I read books and magazines to help me deal with this problem. My husband wants another baby later on, and I won't be able to handle it. Pull it together you can make it and deal with everything. God makes you go through hard times, but the time with your children are the good times.
2006-10-30 14:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't act like it's a burden now... and I understand how you feel since you have older children and now you have to be a new mother all over again. But don't think of it like a number like oh, it's the 3rd.. here we go... Why weren't you mentally prepared when you had sex, you already know how u got the other two. But just remember that this child will be loved just as much at the other two, and since they are older, you have a lil' bit of help now!! They can help with diapers, feeding, and lil' odds and ends... Think of it like the first time all over again. Each birth isn't the same, so you shouldn't feel like it's doomsday because you got another baby on the way. But you're soundingn like you never had children the way you're carrying on.... But another thing is, your hormones and emotions are out of balanced so that's another thing.. you just need to relax because I bet you those feelings will subside when the baby is born.. And how about how the baby's going to feel adjusting to a new environment... I just hope it's the pregnancy talking and hopefully with the support of your family and the father of your children will help you through your baby blues.
2006-10-30 15:47:39 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG I'm dealing with it right now. I have an 8 year old son and a 6 month old son. I remember the days of just hopping in the car without a baby and all the "stuff" that goes along with it in tow. Let me start out by saying that my son has totally embraced his little brother and loves him to pieces! He has shown amazing strength, which gives me strength. I have a very fussy baby and that stresses me out quite a bit. When he's screaming in the backseat for 45 minutes, I just want to cry. Then I realize that my 8 year old is sitting right next to him and is listening to it too, and is just as calm as can be. With support from other family members, you will be just fine! Just really take it day to day, or even minute to minute if you have to. Also remember, that the baby stage doesn't last forever, and try to enjoy them being little while they are little. Children learn what they live....show them that you have patience, love and understanding. Good luck to you with the rest of your pregnancy and I hope you are blessed with a healthy baby.
2006-10-30 14:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by 2Good4U 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just anxious because your life is changing again. You thought that you were through being tied down with a baby and were enjoying the freedom that comes with having kids that can dress themselves and make there own sandwich. You will do just fine, once the baby is born you will remember the joys that come with a new life. Good luck and have a healthy baby.
2006-10-30 14:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to remember how much fun and laughs it is to have a baby around. This time you have 2 helpers instead of having to do it all by yourself (and hubby) like before. Also - this is going to be the best experience for your older two. They'll be hitting their teenage years with full knowledge of what a responsibility a baby is.
Good luck and congrats. Don't worry - the schedule will fall in to place.
2006-10-30 14:22:07 · answer #7 · answered by Applecore782 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best advice that i can give u is research. read as much as u can about being a new mom and find other pregnant women to talk to because their goin through the same thing. and if u did it twice before i think u can do it one more time. just remember this is a new person different from ur other children
2006-10-30 15:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by asia may 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever you feel yourself getting stressed over the things that come with having another baby, think of the good things...
The cute smiles, the gurgles, the cute outfits.... the love that you and your other children will feel for this new human that you are having!
You will have help from your children this time, it won't just be you....
It will be okay... just take it a day at a time!
Congrads!!!!
2006-10-30 14:37:47 · answer #9 · answered by mrs. ruspee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just relax and keep thinking that you did this before and you can do this again. You will be A-Okay.
2006-10-30 14:12:32 · answer #10 · answered by cfoxwell99 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋