Only been married for a year, i was away the night it happened, she didn't tell me i found out, when i confronted her she said she did sleep with someone else. She's very ashamed and sorry, she feels really bad that she hurt me. I'm really hurt and confused i do love her, she has asked me for a 2nd chance and i don't know if i should give it to her, she's about to start going counseling, she tells me she wants to make it up to me, she does not want to get divorced. I ask her why she did it and responds that she was feeling lonely, she says that's no reason to do it but she did, and she feels bad, she screwed up bad she says, she wants to try to fix it but she'll understand whatever decision i make. I do love her, i'm just really confused, angry, and still in shock, don't know what to do.
2006-10-30 13:43:41 · 51 answers · asked by Have fun! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Gosh! she cheated on you after only being married for one year. You have every right to feel the emotions you are having. I hate that you are having to go through this.
I can't tell you to leave your wife -- that is for you to decide. I suggest you both go to counseling separately and together. Give yourself some time to grieve over the lose of trust between you. If after a period of time with counseling and time to think about your marriage and how you will cope, you will be in a better frame of mind to decide. Take care and good luck.
2006-10-30 13:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by JB 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Wife Cheated Now What
2016-09-29 05:21:14 · answer #2 · answered by bricknell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn that sucks, well, honestly i say leave her unless you like being cheated on you two were only married a year and shes already doing it and this is the time she is telling you about. Ever heard the saying once a cheater always a cheater? Well, it is a very true saying. i hate to be the bearer of bad news but, i say go get your divorce and show her what she screwed up i mean the trust will be forever gone as will your marriage vows. Plus, if she says she did it because she was lonely well, its a lonely world so shes apt to do it again. Some people are just cheaters and she dont deserve a good honest faithful guy.
2006-10-30 13:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Its over. Think about it man... she slept with another guy or girl. She was lonely.... why didn't she call you when you were away. I know when I get lonely, I call my wife not go looking for a hooker to rip one off!
So what kind of scum bag slept with your wife? How are you going to live with the fact that another man shared your woman? He was kissing her, touching her, holding her, telling her things that only you have a right to do. And... she let this other guy do this because she is lonely.... So... did she pretend it was you the whole time she was with him? Huh!
Did she cry when she told you. She just told you and never shed a tear. Not a very good passionate apology then was it. No... she isn't sorry... she is just worried about what everyone is going to think about her once the word gets out.
Well dude you hold all the cards. You have to have an ginormous heart to forgive her. And... no matter how hard you love her... she has to love you back. And further still, how are you ever, ever going to trust her. Next time your gone... and this guy knows your gone... who is to say he won't come around again to service your wife. What a sick thought that is.
No... my advice to you is to get an annulment. You have only been married a year so the property division should be simple. And... if afte the annulment she truly deeply loves you, she can start dating you again and try to win your heart back. I don't think its ever going to happen though.
It's over. Get away from her, avoid her circle. Move out of town and look for a girl with class.
2006-10-30 14:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by BeArPaW_4709 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she did it this once, who's to say she won't do it again the next time she gets "lonely?" That is not a very good excuse and I'm sure you both agree on that.
I've been married 4 years and my husband works ALL THE TIME!!! I'm ALWAYS alone....and I've NEVER cheated on him. I could never do that. You don't do that to someone you love and care about. And if she is confused about the way she feels about you.............YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!!!!
She knew what she was doing was wrong and did it anyway. She knew it would hurt you and did it anyway. She knew it could potentially ruin your marriage. It's adultery. It's grounds for a divorce......You can't trust her anymore. And if you can't trust her anymore, what kind of marriage are you going to have?! That just isn't right and I would divorce her. It's better to leave her now then wait 10 years from now after giving her a 2nd chance and having her cheat on you again!!! Good luck in what ever you decide to do!!
2006-10-30 13:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by Jenna 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys should seperate for a while. The time apart may help with determining your true feelings for each other. During this time she could work on the counseling, and if she really loved you and was sorry about it, she wouldn't do anything with anyone else during your seperation. It seems like she wants to make it up to you, even though there was no excuse for what she did.
If you two haven't already, you should get tested for STDs just in case she caught something when she cheated.
2006-11-01 11:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by ;-) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hard thing for us guys to realize is that women don't normally cheat for sex. They are missing something, like and intimate connection, and try to do something to fill tht void. THAT is half your deal, so her cheating was her decision and a bad one, but things were in place to set it up. As one half the relationship, do what you have to to make sure that she is happy, safe and secure. But the other half of that is on her... so it's a constant tending of the nest by two people. And hey, just because you are married, doesn't mean you can stop working just as hard to impress her and when you were just dating. If you love her like you say, get into couseling and figure out where you guys as a couple, allowed this kind of set up to happen. If you are understanding and give it some time and patience, maybe you can pull through.
2006-10-30 14:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by bigwheeler19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok been here done this before. my friend the thing is if she loved you so much she would never ever have done it i left my ex wife for the same reason now i am remarried 4 years been with my wife almost 8 years total and i am the happiest . my point is there are more fish in the sea.and i have to say people say go to counciling i am sorry i did that and found it to be a away someone can tell how my marriage should be and spend tons of money on speculation . its a waste of time. i appologise for being bitter on this ubject i just know its not a nice thing and i wish you luck with what ever you should decide
2006-10-30 14:18:49 · answer #8 · answered by john d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Trust in a marriage is really important! But that's a lame excuse for sleeping with someone! Its like a child cant control her/himself from eating the cookie!
It was just one night you were gone, what happen when you are gone a wk on business trip! yes! I believe people do need 2nd chance, but come on! You are a good guy and yes, you love her, but love and trust is earned! If you stick around-she might get pregant by somebody else and you end up stock paying child support. People like that never appreciate what they have until they lose it! Good luck with your decision! To me you, if she cheat once, she will cheat again! the only thing is you found out! Also there are so many health problems- you dont want to get it!
She has sex with that guy-she had sex with everyone else he sex with! Good luck!
2006-10-30 13:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by smiley710 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you both need counselling and not just her. If you feel in your heart that you can get past this, then by all means, give it another go. If you can't simply tell her that your trust is gone and you're hurt.
If you want to work it out then both of you will have to work hard on staying together. Marriage isn't easy..
2006-10-30 13:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋