How much intellectual compatibility is important for marriage?

Question

i mean shared intresets, shared views, shared common taste of music.. and so on??

Answer 1

I'm not sure it's shared interests as much as a shared approach to life itself. For example, each of you can have entirely different interests, but there must be a common philosophy in how you live your lives. A person who is a traditionalist with conservative values would be, I think, very unhappy with someone who has an alternative lifestyle and has no boundaries.

Answer 2

YES!!!! Intellectual compatibility is a must. Remember that 50 years from bow it won't matter what you wore, how handsome he was, how nice your butt and breast looked. What WILL matter is what kind of conversation you can carry. If you are not intellectually compatible, you will be bored and have nothing in common. It's so important to be able to carry a good conversation with your significant other. Maybe you can pick out a book and talk about it. Go to a poetry reading. Or whatever you two have in common. Also, think about yours kids. How would you feel if they had a mother who loved shakespeare and a father who loved nascar?

Answer 3

It is an interesting question.

I would assume that in a marriage what comes first is
a) you are attracted to your spouse
b) You have good self-esteem and so does she/he
c) You are mature enough & so does she/he
d) You can adjust & compromise and tolerate those habits
of he/she which makes your irritable

If a-d is not there, any amount of shared interest , shared views is not going to help. In fact I bet, that if a-d is not there, you would want to be with some one with opposite views, just because you have had difficulty with someone with shared views

But if a-d is all good then intellectual compatibility is nice to have, as long both of you respect each other and are not bruised (in your ego's) by accepting each other views

Answer 4

You answered your own question. When a couple are on the same intellectual level they tend to to also share similar tastes in politics and arts.

The adage that opposites attract is more myth than reality. Even though a couple may have a few large areas in their tastes that are different. The fact is they share more in common than not.

Answer 5

Intellectual compatability is very important - but that is not the same as the others you listed. Shared values are important. It is more interesting if your interests, views, music, etc. are different, because if everything were the same it would be very boring.

Answer 6

intellect is much different than shared interests. Would you like to date someone that has an IQ of 100 and you need to babysit them so the house doesn't catch fire? Same thing would a genius want to marry a dummy..what would they talk about..colours??

Answer 7

Very much so. It'd hard to connect with somebody that didn't understand what it ment to see the first landing on the moon. Hard to sing along with the music in the car and they don't know who the Beatles are? ( God where was Pauls head!!!!!0) Sorry......don't get it.

Answer 8

Undoubtedly none. My brother and his wife have been together twelve years, married ten. They have nothing in common outside the bedroom. She is brash loud and vulgar. He is very intellectual and not to outgoing but not a nerd either.

Answer 9

in my opinion you want to be able to talk to your spouse about important things and issues you don't want someone who has no clue. But, you don't really want someone that shares in everything you so. that will leave no room for growth on either party. and it would be real boring.

Answer 10

I think these are the most important:

religion
how closely each adheres to traditional gender roles