what's normal behavior for a long term marriage?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 16 years. Some moments I don't want to be with him anymore and other moments I couldn't see myself without him. His strong points are very strong and his weak points extremely weak. We don't have good communication skills and usually argue more than talk. It's wearing me down because it seems that he doesn't really listen. Our bedroom activities are almost non-existent and he seems to have more fun with other people. What's normal? Have we just been together for so long that it's lost its sparks? Anyone have good websites for married couples with troubles?

Answer 1

My husband and I have been married over 17 years. I cannot imagine my life without him, and love him with every heartbeat! We have had our ups and downs, as every couple has, but have also been through very serious things and have come through the other side happily. It takes a great deal of work, but it's worth the effort. We still spark incredibly, and though that, too, has ebbed and flowed, if the common goal is happiness, you can pass over the bad stuff and remember why you are married in the first place. Things change over the years, but in our case the love has grown and blossomed. The biggest thing is being honest with each other, warts and all, so you can talk and work things out.
Hope things get better for you - just remember, it's better for everyone to have a positive attitude and a willingness to work things through. Get counselling if you need help.

Answer 2

I cant help you as far as marriage life goes ( i know nothing about) but I just wanted to say keep trying. The divorce rate is so so high. It can ruin the childrens lives. Ive seenit first hand with my boyfriend.Please dont give up. Throw on some sexy night clothes and try something new in the bedroom. Stay strong it can be done. (my parents have been together 26 years)

Answer 3

What you are going through is very normal if you want more action in the bedroom get yourself a wig make yourself look different as possible watch what happens.He is as bored with you as you are with him. You need to remember what it was like in the beginning when the two of you touched kissed hugged laughed had sex for the first time. Being married he very hard you need to work on it every day and I do mean everyday. If you still love him and he you ,you can get that love back. The only thing is both of you need to work on your marriage together. When you kiss your husband remember the feeling you got with the first kiss and picture his face when you first layed eyes on him.It will work if you want it to.

Answer 4

I have been married for eleven years and I can relate with what you're saying.
We also have trouble communicating, but have been trying to work on that to make things better. We both have trouble in that area. He doesn't always listen and I find myself having to try to get through to him.
We haven't had any bedroom activities in nine years of our marriage. I found out that the activities stop eventually in most marriages after many years of marriage. In mine it stopped sooner.
My parents' marriage was somewhat similar to mine, so I am starting to think this is the norm.
I think some marriages get to the point where they lose their sparks and we have to do things to liven it up.
Our marriage is not bad, but it's not perfect either. With lots of communication and occasional getaways, things have gotten better.

Have you tried talking with a marriage counselor about the communication issue? Have you tried going on little getaways with him?

Answer 5

a good start is by doing something to bring the spark back into your marriage you have to attend to marraige the same way you tend to a garden with love and patience the beauty, with the thorn's. that's marriage giveing some and takeing some good times, and hard times. the next man you end up with could be a lot worse take it from a lady that was married for 37 year's it was not all rose's and cream but in the end it payed off beautifully

Answer 6

One time on Dr.Phil he said for the couple to sit down every morning and name one good qaulity about one another. This works, I know. I have been with mine for 20 years. We fight about ifnances and I want to leave immediately then a few hours later we get over it and move on. I'll never leave, etc, Im far too loyal. But damn sometimes!!!!! You cannot loose the sparks, love is deeper than the phsyical, it's within the spiritual. It's a beautiful thing and ever burns within, sometimes you grow so accustomed to it you cant even tell its there. ... I hope that helps?

Answer 7

You need to do something extroardinary in your marriage.You need to suprise your husband!Do something he would never expect from you.It will spice things up.I think that is the only thing missing.You both are bored with each other.I suggest you be the one to take action and spice it up a bit.Rent a hotel on the beach, for a night.Tell your husband that you both have to go into town.Take him to the hotel.Make sure you have wine,a sexy outfit,munchies.Take him for a walk on the beach and seduce him.Do not hold back,just rock his world.Sweetie I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 8

I can say right from jump street.....I know NOTHING!!!!
I lost both my parents. My dad spent the last years of his life feeling SO guilty for how he treated my mom. My mom died, fully beleiving my dad was screwing around with another lady at the home. There got to be a point where the pain far outweighed the benefit. They spent over 55 years together and died feeling totally alone. I don't know the answer. My dad told me he was sorry for never really realizing what my mom did. My mom felt like ANYBODY could have done it because my dad made her feel REPLACEABLE.

Answer 9

properly, it extremely is somewhat very own yet i will answer as long as you're questioning in case your intercourse life is typical. via the way, each and every physique has a distinctive intercourse life. i've got been dating somebody for 8 years and the previous 2 years have been finished of issues (cheating on one yet another, he dumping me for a month and dating a actual skanky whore!). anyhow! perfect now, we are at as quickly as a week WITH CONDOMS! 'reason for the believe issue. the 1st couple years, we had intercourse probable 5 circumstances a week and then it fizzled right down to in keeping with possibility purely 3 for a mutually as. i think of that's fairly typical FOR intercourse TO FIZZLE as quickly as you have been IN A dating FOR a mutually as and a thank you to therapy THIS issue isn't that difficult (i might desire to take my own advice). one million. do no longer enable your self flow downhill as quickly as you have already 'snagged' him. restoration your self up, artwork out!, eat perfect, and placed something 'naughty' on now and back for him. 2. now and back adult males in long term relationships get lazy approximately making the 1st flow and you're able to desire to do it! 3. carry out a little romantic weekends now and back. my bf and that i went to an indoor waterpark with a room with a hearth and a jacuzzi. we had astounding intercourse all weekend to no longer point out how lots relaxing it became to act like youngsters back on those water rides! 4. don't get inebriated once you flow out and mingle with pals. i've got executed some very stupid issues whilst i became inebriated and disillusioned him a great deal. i do have an alcohol issue however. in case you like components like alcohol and medicines to get grew to become on, that's a bad sign. do no longer hassle, i'm getting help. 5. do no longer NAG HIM. That'll placed him out of the temper so quickly, it would make your head spin. he will without delay see his mom telling him to freshen up his room and mow the backyard. heavily. there are a number of greater issues yet those are purely a number of issues i've got noted IN almost 2 an prolonged time of dating (3 bfs have been better than a year dating). good luck!

Answer 10

This is where the two of you are suppose to stand up for each other.When one of you falls the other should be there to help get up and carry on.Every couple will have its bad times but its up to them to help carry each others burdens.