I am married to the dependable one but I cheated on him very early in the relationship with someone who was in love with me, We were very compatable, but I didn't think I could depend on him.
I have a happy marriage but I sometimes wonder if I chose correctly since I still have some feelings for the one who loved me all those years ago.
What do you think?
2006-10-30 12:58:06 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
edit:
When I mean early in the relationship, I mean BM, as in Before marriage-- hence, when I chose, we eventually got married.
They both loved me, it was up to me to decide.
Perhaps the one I chose made the wrong decision in me, this may be true.
2006-10-30 13:13:52 · update #1
I think I am very glad I am not married to you. Trust is so important. If you were "so compatible" in the first place, how come you broke up? The day-in-day out responsibility of marriage is tough - I'll bet you wouldn't last a year with your "phantom lover.
2006-10-30 13:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by JustaThought 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, sometimes "love" is a strange thing. You can be totally and completely head over heels in love with someone, but if he has a ton of negative things against him (i.e., irresponsible, temper, etc.) then it's still probably in your best interest to move on. If you are in a happy marriage, and your husband treats you good - well to me, the answer is right in front of you. You just said you are HAPPY. We can all still have feelings for past lovers, but that doesn't mean we should be with them. I think that this is the perfect example of "the grass always being greener" or "you don't know what you have until it's gone". Maybe if the tables were turned and you were with the ex and not your husband, you'd be wondering the same thing. If you are happy, why question it? Get on with your life. :)
Hope this helps.
2006-10-30 21:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by suekiemama@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through!! I cheated on my long term boyfriend of 3 years with an older man. This man was head over heals for me. I broke it off because of guilt. I am so happy with my boyfriend but I still think about that man all the time. I wonder if I should have ran off with him like he wanted me too. We had such a great time together. The fact is that you are happy now and you wouldn't want to compromise that for anything. If you are happy then you made the right decision.
2006-10-30 21:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by angel l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying in life.... " you can never go back home again".. it means that you cant go back to the past. It will be different you are different. I know exactly how you feel, having had a similar experience. I went on to "play with the 'bad boys' and the undependable ones and always got hurt or lost my money."
Try to be happy where you are and be happy you didn't have to learn the hard way like I did.
2006-10-30 21:13:17 · answer #4 · answered by kar_summers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems u have a great man but u r not happy with who u r and go in search of that by trying to find it in others.using a good man doesn't say much of ur moral character. if ur hubby makes u happy keep with it and try counsling to find out why ur unhappy with urself and why u always think the grass is greener on the other side. leave the past in the past hun. move forward u got a good man love him and live happy
2006-10-30 21:07:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think we all have someone in our past we think about, but feelings are just that, they can't be relied upon. stay with the one who loves you, you know what you have but you really don't know what you will get with this other man.it's normal to become bored in a marriage, but the universe gives us exacly what we need, not what we want. if it is a happy marriage than be content with what you have and don't go looking or thinking things. what if you were to leave your hubby for this man? and it turned out not to be what you were expecting, and your husband wouldn't take u back? we always want what we can't have, and if we got it, maybe we wouldn't even want it.
2006-10-30 21:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
these kinds of thoughts can lead to far worse actions, and there's a world of difference in a lover and a husband. it sounds like you have a good husband, but if you're not happy with him let him go so he can find someone who will love and appreciate him for who he is. it would be best for both of you.
2006-10-30 21:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal to wonder about things that happened it your past and what might have been.sounds to me like you have doubts still about your marriage. you need to ssit down and think about what you hope to get out of the marriage and work at it. you are luckier than most because as you say you have a faithful husband who loves you very much.
if i was you I would forget the past and get on with living in the now with your loving husband.
2006-10-30 21:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by Scott G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you dont make a committment to anyone but your own pleasure and that until you elevate someone to be your equal in love and life you wont be happy with one man
2006-10-30 21:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do your husband a favor and divorce him. He deserves to be with someone that loves him and wants to be with him, not someone who's still hung up on a fling from the past.
2006-10-30 21:02:11 · answer #10 · answered by ricktheirish1967 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋