i was raped when i was younger i want to tell my mom but i am affraid to what do i do?

Question

i need help please ansewer my question how do i tell my mom should i write her a letter or tell her up front please help

Answer 1

You need to tell her in whatever way you are most comfortable. If you are in counseling (which I strongly suggest) discuss this with your therapist. The RAINN organization is an excellent resource for rape and incest survivors. http://www.rainn.org/ Some help you might be able to seek out directly, but some will require a parent's permission, since you are still a minor, so your mother needs to be told.

Realize that it will be a shock to her, and she may seem to react strangely. When a person gets sudden bad news like that, it can be hard to accept at first; and she will wonder how could she not have known, and what could she have done to protect you. It breaks a mother's heart when her child suffers through a traumatic experience.

When my mother found out that I had been molested by a family member (20 years after the fact- which I regret), she was truly stunned, and went through counseling to deal with all the feelings she had.

Considering all this, a letter might be the best way to let her know. That way you can take the time to carefully compose the letter and express all your thoughts and feelings, and she can read it and react privately and work through some of her emotions before you two actually discuss it.

Always remember that it was NOT your fault, and that you did nothing to deserve such treatment. Hold your head high and live with dignity - you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are deserving of love and happiness. Good luck and stay strong!

Answer 2

I'm sorry, and this is more of a delicate situation for you than your mother. I understand that your mother will be very dissapointed and scared for you, well not so much dissapointed as sorrowful. When you discuss this with her, you need to be prepared for this conversation, no doubt that discussing this will bring up painful memories. But if you feel you need to tell your mom try to prepare yourself and explain to your mom that its all over and you can now defend yourself if this happens again - if you don't know how to defend yourself, consider getting pepper spray or small taser ($10-40) - The real trouble is getting the information out there because this isn't something you want the whole world to know, in fact, you are probably very sad that this happened. But try to tell your mom and explain what happened and remember, Prevention Works - be prepared.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Just tell her up front. "Hey Mom, can we talk about something for a few minutes? It's really important..." is a good way to start. Then tell her what happened - who, how, what, where, when. Be honest and factual, don't imbellish just tell her what went on. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you were assaulted by a power-hungry pervert who needs to be ..... shall we say, dealt with in an appropriate manner.

And know that you're not alone. Many people, both females and males, have been sexually assaulted at one time or another, usually when we were young & vulnerable. The only way to stop this person from doing it to someone else is to tell your mom and get the ball rolling. Be strong, and good luck :)

Answer 4

I'm so sorry, honey.

I want to warn you that many mothers don't believe it when their daughters tell them of these experiences. The mothers go into denial.

I would write her a letter telling her everything. Then I would wait a day and reread it and rewrite it.

Then I'd do that again. And if you typed it on the computer, print 3 copies. If you hand wrote it, photocopy 2 copies.

Then I would announce, "Mom, I have something very important for you to read," and then give it to her. Watch her face.
I hope she is understanding and holds her arms out to you.

If not, give another copy to your guidance counselor or contact social services and give it to them.

Keep one copy for yourself.

God Bless You, Sweetie.

And remember, you didn't do anything wrong.

Answer 5

Do what feels right in your heart, and when you do you will feel a lot better. . You might want to have consuling with you and your mother. Like a group discussion, and if you find a cousuler that you like he or she may actually help you tell this to your mother in some way or form. It is one of the hardest things to talk about to any one. Good luck, I dont know what else to say...it is just something that effects a lot of people and it hurts.

Answer 6

honey, im so sorry that happened to you, my daughter in law was also raped when she was real young and just recenly told her grandmother who raised her that it happened. but she cannot tell her mother because it was with her mothers friends son and that would really hurt her real mother badly. i am 45 and just about 5 years ago i told my mom i was molested many years ago, its a very difficult thing to tell, but i dont know that i would do it in a letter i think you should tell her in person, face to face and then i think you should talk to some one about it. im not saying you need a therapist but i am saying there is such a thing as self therapy and talking to your friends or your mother or grandmother and getting it out of your system so that you can deal with it better, its harder to deal with things when there are in the inside, some thimes they just need to be spoken . it also depends on how strong a person you are, the stronger you are the better you deal with things if you do not deal with things well you probably will need to see a therapist.. wishing you the very best......

Answer 7

Your therapist/wellness care professional is needed via regulation to rfile this to the police once you're a minor. that's particularly helpful to communicate with you priest or a non secular consultant or in case you're in school attempt conversing with the youngster/adolescents worker. finally, why do no longer you a minimum of attempt conversing along with your mom, she would ask your self you! She has your maximum suitable pursuits at coronary heart.

Answer 8

Wow, first off i am sorry to hear that and I hope you are ok. I can not imagine what you must go thru. I think that you should tell you mother and that you should tell her in person. It will be a shock to her and she may get upset that you never told her when it happened. I do not know all the details but I wish you the strength to carry you thru this. p.s. chin up kidd! :o)

Answer 9

Do not tell any family member, it will not de-rape you. whats done is done and telling mom or others will ruin their lives and they will blame themselves for what happened to you. This stress can bring on early ageing and other serious ailments.

You can get help and counselling from lots of sources.

I would only suggest you tell your family about this if it is still happening or someone else in your family is at risk of it happening. Other than that try and deal with it through trained professionals.

Answer 10

Just tell here. Get it off you're chest. And remember you are still a whole person even after this criminal indecency. The mind is a funny thing. Make peace within yourself. Do it in a quiet moment between yourselves.