She knew he was my ex, but he didn't know she was my friend. I want to forgive her, but I don't know. When she found out he was my ex she still didn't stop going with him because she was pregnant. She ended up losing the baby. She appologized afterwards. Should I just discommunicate with her or what because she was my best friend and she did apologize. I still don't trust her, but I want her to be in my life.
2006-10-30 11:54:35 · 19 answers · asked by brina489 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She found out he was your ex after she was pregnant? So at first she did not know, right? At the point she became pregnant, that new life takes precedence over your possiveness. Which brings up the point, if he is your EX, why do you care? Get a life!
2006-10-30 12:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by Euro Cop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her and tell her exactly that -- that you want her to be in your life and value her friendship. That you will work to accept her apology but need time, support, and patience from her while you are regaining your trust which was injured. Sounds like she will need your support, too. Losing a baby is very hard, and can take as long to grieve and heal as losing anyone else in your life. She is a big person to apologize to you. If you aren't quite ready, let her know that you want to but need help to get there. I think she should understand you are trying your best. Your friendship will be stronger for getting through this together. That is touching you are both willing to make amends rather than lose your friendship. Your efforts will be rewarded, so give it your best and keep supporting each other. Take care!
P.S. In order to re-establish trust, you and she would have to agree to completely honest with each other no matter what. True friends can tell each other whatever is going on and deal with it. It was one thing to go with your ex, but why not tell you up front. If she is going to be your friend she needs to know she should always tell you the truth from now on instead of hiding anything from you. If you or she cannot commit to that, communication will be hindered and your trust and friendship will suffer for it.
2006-10-30 12:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by emilynghiem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All friends have problems! After loosing a child and going through the process of preparing for a child has probably whipped your friend out, she needs you more now than ever. Keep a close eye on her but don't completely take her back as a friend. She made a mistake and if she apologized than she must be really sorry. You say you want to be her friend so don't let go of that. Comfort her but let her know that you haven't forgotten, let her know that your sore and make shore she knows it cause she might take advantage of you if you go all out friendly. Keep your guard up but be her friend. She loves you (as a friend) and you love her in the same way too, true friendship never fades, no matter how bad the experience. Good luck to your friend, deepest apologizes for the los and God bless.
2006-10-30 12:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by sweetie*pie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered your own question b/c you said you want her in your life. If that is true, then you have to decide to forgive her. She will have to be understanding though. It will take time for her to regain your trust. If she does something like this again, I think you should cut her loose. I just think there are way too many people in the world to ever go out with your friend's exes.
And I don't agree with the people who say who cares, she is your friend & boys come & go.That may be true, but would a real friend do something like that.
2006-10-30 11:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, say that your friend went out with your ex. and she still kept on going out with him even after she found out he was your ex. she even got pregnant by him. If that is a friend who needs enemies, when a friend finds out that the guy she is dating is her best friend's ex. she should have stopped going out with him, and how did she get pregnant, hasn't she heard of the birth control pill? There is no excuse for her doing that to you, I would not want to even be in the same room with her. Next time you decide to have another best friend be very cautious who you are choosing because what if she did the same thing this one did.
2006-10-30 12:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh gosh...that is illegal in 48 states...but she did go through alot of pain...if you still wanna be friends I won't stay best friends...Don't blame the ex because he didn't know any better. I f you don't wanna be friends just gradually stop talking to her...and if she gets all in your face you can start a fight...but anyways...same thing minus the babe happened to me and she was my best friend...didn't work out after that. good luck!
xoxo
Kelli Green
2006-10-30 11:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care. He's your EX!!! It's not like she took him while you were still going out with him. I'm still trying to find my ex a woman. I'd put it behind you and get on with your life.
2006-10-30 11:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by Booboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thought you where done with him that is what ex means you sound jealous. Do you want him or cant she have him. The trust issue is yours not hers. Ex are free game.
2006-10-30 11:57:32 · answer #8 · answered by popcorn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends will be forever. Men go and come. If you are not with him, then leave it alone. I know there is always an unspoken rule to not mess with old loves, but if you love your friend, you will forgive her and move on.
2006-10-30 11:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs you,sounds like shes been punished enough,friends are hard to find and when you find one treasure them,and just tell her no more going out with your old boyfriends,dang women
2006-10-30 11:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋