There will be more.
Golden cups shine
Once filled with wine
In this dragon's lair.
Traps surround his hoard.
Indeed, he looks quite bored,
For no one has got'n past them yet.
His eyes open wide.
An arrow's bounced off his hide
But it's splintered in two.
A gleaming, silver sword now flies
Through the air and toward his eyes,
Swiftly gouging one out.
A valiant knight,
With clearly no fright,
Has got'n past the traps that were laid!
The knight's new sword
Is one from the hoard.
Ah, it's royal indeed!
Runes on its hilt and golden blade
By royal men of old were made
To vanquish those who felt its bite.
2006-10-30 11:29:18 · 16 answers · asked by rappingrancor 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I like it, but i think the last lines of each stanza needs a little work. It kind of ruined the flow the first two lines established.
2006-10-30 11:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love the way you use your words and you definitely have put a lot of thought into your medieval imagery however I think that your rhyming scheme is off kilter a bit...perhaps if you did something like thus:
Golden cups shine
Once filled with wine
In this dragon's lair.
Though traps do surround
His boredom is found
Twisting and laid bare.
His eyes open wide
Arrow glances hide
His aim has gone askew
A gleaming sword flies
Swift toward his eyes
Sight no longer in two.
**Something like that...you know? I've been writing poetry most of my life and one of my passions is helping and encouraging other poets...keep up the good work!
2006-10-30 20:37:29 · answer #2 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent
2006-10-30 19:31:25 · answer #3 · answered by Aaron A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great. Poetry is what you want it to be. There are endless varieties of poetry. Good and Bad or but opinions.
I just read some great previews of a book of poetry due out soon. Called words of mind, by charles evans
2006-10-30 20:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Words of Mind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Nice
2006-10-30 19:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by Witchblade_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be harsh, but I don't find it that great. The rhyming scheme is a bit odd and it makes it sound juvenile.
2006-10-30 19:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by Aimers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very interesting and descriptive. Can you find another word to replace bored? It doesn't quite fit.
2006-10-30 19:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it about Harry Potter?
2006-10-30 19:41:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like your imagery. Good job!
2006-10-30 19:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of pretty words...but I don't get it...and I always get poetry.
2006-10-30 19:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋