Why can't I forgive and forget so-called friends who have hurt me and turned their backs on me? No matter how old you are, it still hurts, especially when you don't understand why. I know I need to let go and they are'nt true friends, but it is still hard.
2006-10-30 10:56:38 · 26 answers · asked by desertskieswoman 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it is hard, I struggle with it too, but when I do finally let go it feels so good. The thing I figure is this-- they are the one who committed the offense. Why should I be the one who suffers. And "pent-up" emotions will do just that -- give you physical problems... Good luck. Remember, forgiveness isn't always deserved, but it is that you are the bigger person, and can see past their pettiness.
2006-10-30 11:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by savannah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, me too... I honestly believe I could forgive (not forget) if the people would actually come up to me and ask for forgiveness. I hear people say you must be like God and forgive people. Well, does God forgive without someone requesting it? Is it automatic? Is Hell doomed to be empty? Hope so. Sounds like you have the same kind of Friends that I had. Best buddy one minute until they finally use you for a dart board. Why? Whats the purpose? I haven't changed? I'm pretty much over the hurt, but as I bump into people or things that jog my memory, regrets for not confronting them flood back. Still I feel fairly secure in the knowledge that they may have two faces, but I will always have one. I am focused on what I consider the correct path. I hope you are too. I think our skins are going to have to thicken up some!
2006-10-30 11:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. My best friend in college stabbed me in the back (6 years ago) and no matter how many times we've talked about it or how many times she's apologized, I'm still hurt as if it were just yesterday. We tried hanging out like old times, but it's just not the same.
I think it has to do with trust. The trust that you had with your friends was broken and may not even be repairable. You may not look at them the same way because the fact that they hurt you is still trapped in the back of your mind. it could be that they are embarrassed for leaving you at a time when you needed them most. They were caught being a bad friend and now that they realize it, they may not feel like they deserve you or are not worthy.
lack of confidence or trust in a friend is detrimental to a good relationship. it's hard, but in the meantime, try to find other friends to keep your mind off of things...
2006-10-30 11:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by BABY 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know. I have been very hurt by so called friends too. I used to think it was a good thing to trust others as I tend to be honest and direct myself but I now actually feel stronger by using a little caution and learning from the past. I remind myself that I am still a valuable person and my friendship is valuable and I am worth so much more that these people are willing to give. But it still hurts.
2006-10-30 12:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by kirrii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you my twin? I have the same problem. I just can't let go. I think the reason is because we are trusting, and loyal, and it shakes us to the core when there are people out there that are malicious, and mean who you cannot trust. We put so much into friendships and relationships and it hurts like crazy when we get hurt. Also, I know I am very sensitive. I don't want to hurt others and in turn I don't want to be hurt.
2006-10-30 12:18:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I did when I was in a similar situation, was to forgive not for their sake but for my sake - so that I could move on with my life. Life will pass you by if you continue to lament something that is in the past. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to change it. Let it go and move on.
2006-10-30 11:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow you sound like youve had some bad experiences but you need to turn those into positives - everything you are is a product of your experiences, everyone one who betrayed you told you that you should not be so quick to trust people, every new person you meet you will not be so keen to believe, your past betrayals made you a better person, move on.
2006-10-30 11:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No matter what anyone tells you,it's a hurt that you never will forget.When you are told It's time to move on and get over it,if your like me you feel like telling them to shut up and mind your own business.Don't you find it to be true that most people can give advise but can't take it there own self.
2006-10-30 12:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never easy, when some one betrays/hurts you... But in order to move on you need to Forgive yourself first and love yourself enough to forgive everyone else....
It is something that you have to do.. So that you can feel a sense of peace instead of resentment, hatred and anger... It will also make you a better and stronger person in the future....
Remember that God died and forgave us for our sins.
Good luck and God Bless!
2006-10-30 11:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by Torres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it does hurt, but time does heal. Not everyone is perfect and people make mistakes. The same thing will happen to these friends of yours during their lifetime. We learn by these moments in life. Have a good one.
2006-10-30 11:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by jammer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋