Im 15 and my friend is 14. She is a goth. She is throwining a pity party for herself saying she has no friends because of something that happened about Halloween. It is so not true during lunch we are surrounded by friends, having good times and laughing she defintly has friends. She also keeps calling herself fat because she is overweight ( not badly) and calls her self ugly. She isn't ugly at all. People tell her this all the time that shes not ugly. She thinks shes worthless because she doesn't have a bf and hasn't in a year or two. How do I make her snap out of this and show her she is not ugly, fat and does have friends. Get her out of this poor pity me thing. Thanks in advance
2006-10-30 10:50:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Yeah Im a girl and straight I dont have sex with girls
2006-10-30 11:02:58 · update #1
Hmmmm this is a toughy!!! We have to find happiness within ourselves and from no other source. If she is constantly vocalizing her unhappiness about her appearance she needs to take charge and change it! The only one who cares about you is you!!!! Your friends can tell you you are beautiful til they are blue in the face but if you aren't feelin' it then forget it!!! First of all get rid of the whole "goth" image thing. It is for people who feel the need to identify with something and that is a last resort to fit in!!! Put some darn color in your life!!! I am not saying life is easy but if you have the support of friends then they can help but it has to start from within. And sometimes if you are looking at those black dark clothes and dark makeup....well I would be pretty depressed too!!!! As for her weight, don't look at those darn Vogue, Cosmo mags!!! We are all different and if you are determined to lose the weight you will!!! Watch calories and or fat content. If we burn more than we consume the weight will come off!!! I promise! Walking is the best way to lose weight, low impact and very effective. Start out with 30 minutes then work your way up to about an hour!!! Good luck to you and your friend. You are a good one for caring so much for her!!!!
2006-10-30 10:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by One Of The Girls 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Been there done that-you can do one of two things-stop telling her that she is worth or take her to a mirror and show her all the things that are pretty about her. You could also march her to the guidance counsellor or something-talking to an unbiased (sorry) person helped me. There could be something else there underneath it all that she doesn't know or can't say. I am really sorry that your friend is going through this though...its kinda hard to believe the good stuff when all you can see is the bad. Let her know that I was sooo in her shoes....fat, ugly the whole kit and kaboodle and I am married now and expecting my first child. The man comes when you can recognize your worth and show it to the world and really men are overrated anyhow...lol kidding. Let her know it will come-she just needs to be patient and understand that she has a whole lot of life left and lots to learn and see before the man-they aren't the end all be all of life.
Hope that helps a little and good luck.
2006-10-30 10:59:18 · answer #2 · answered by theyrmessengersus 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
But I would bet you can identify with those types of feelings and tell her how bad it sucks when you feel them.
You can give her a hug and tell her you love her.
You can tell her tomorrows going to be a better day.
You might be able to remind her of a time she was aware of you feeling bad, OR another time she was, and how after a while those feelings went away.
All you can do is support HER by acknowledging the reality of pain and ugliness feelings can have.
But remember they are feelings NOT FACTS and you can only gently lead someone out of them with love. Whacking them over the head with FACTS doesn't help...and I'm sure you have had people try to do it to you so you remember how ineffective it is.
2006-10-30 11:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by Rick S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to "snap her out of it". This is something going on internally within her. She has low self-esteem, and it sounds like she's measuring her worth on whether or not she has a bf. You can just be there for her, and keep reassuring her that you are her friend.
2006-10-30 10:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Little*Boots 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She souldn't need/want a guy to make her feel worthwhile. I bet she's beautiful and fine jsut the way she is.
2006-10-30 11:08:37 · answer #5 · answered by K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
throw her a surprise party with all her girl friends and also get makeovers
2006-10-30 11:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by love2kiss52 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you may think that she is just trying to get attention, but she's probably not. she's probably just depressed like many, many teens are today. you need to support her at this time and don't call her out for her seemingly attention-grabbing stunts. she'll get over it--it's just a phase!
2006-10-30 11:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by RRRachel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe is she got a makeover it would boost her self esteem, it always seems that way when i watch the makeover shows on television.
2006-10-30 10:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by ya girl 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Have sex with her that will validate her feelings
2006-10-30 11:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by royalpalaceofhell 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋