I just recently found out that my mums been cheating on my dad with my ex boss. She knows that I know, But she still hasnt stopped doing it. She quit her job and is starting a new job at his company starting Nov 1st. I dont know wat to do.. I dont want her to work there. How can I stop her from seeing him. My dad doesnt know anything about her affair. Its only me, my older brother and younger sista who know about this affair. And yet we still cant do anything to stop her from seeing him. Please advice
2006-10-30 10:40:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Telling your dad yourself would be horrible. It would be awful for you, it would hurt him, and it would make you a party to the whole problem.
Your mother's behavior, regrettable though it is, is unfortunately her decision and not yours. You can tell her how you feel about it, but that is the extent of anything you can actually do about it. Perhaps if you and your siblings confront her, she will at least be more discreet. Knowing that all of you know and that it hurts all of you may at least cause her to reconsider the precious stakes she is gambling against her own "fun".
I feel terrible for you -- you are in a real no-win situation. Try to live your life in the most honest and compassionate manner you can, and if the pressure gets to be too much, seek outside help.
Good luck to you, dear.
2006-10-30 11:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by sparticle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you start a conversation with you parents about being attracted to married man. Make sure to get your mom'sopinion on what type of horrible person would cheat on their spouse. Continue with this imaginary married guy until you think you have driven the point home. You can even ask your parents if you should tell the imaginary wife about the cheating husband. That should be a good show.
If my family was like this I would watch less TV.
2006-10-30 18:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As hard as it may be you need to tell you father. Or find a way to make sure he finds out. What your mom is doing is wrong. You and you siblings do not deserve to carry the weight of her indiscretions on your shoulders. I am sure that as a mother she never minded holding you guys accountable for your behavior so why should you mind holding her accountable for her behavior? She is not above consequences. You DAD has to be told about this. It is going to be difficult and there are gonna be hard feelings and broken hearts, but how would he feel if he found out on his own and then found out that his own children knew about it. It would be like he was cheated on twice: by your mother and you guys. Tell him. In the long run it will be for the best. You have to tell him before she starts working with the dog she is having an affair with. Good luck!! I am sorry you are going through this.
2006-10-30 18:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You and the rest of the kids need to sit down and talk to her. your dad is being hurt in this even if he doesnt' know it. Tell her that she must either stop or tell your dad and give her a time table to do it in. If she doesn't stop then all the kids need to tell him. If he ever found out that you kids knew he might get very angry/hurt by it.
Or your dad might not be a fool and already knows and they have an agreement.
2006-10-30 18:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by B 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
your mother has put you in a terrible situation, because if your dad finds out, he may feel that you did not care enough about his feelings to let him know. the whole family is being put in danger by your mothers conduct, i suggest you tell her that she has a time period in which to disclose it all to dad, if not you will because she raised you not to lie, and you don't want to start now.
your dad deserves honesty no matter what happened between him and your mother., it takes to to make a relationship and two to keep it. it looks like your mother is telling you in her own way that the marriage is over.
2006-10-30 18:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom to clean up her act and level with your dad or you will be forced to do it for her. Start with her and give her a chance to clean up her mess. Make it clear that you cannot stand by and let this continue for long before you tell him.
You should also make sure to lay on the guilt that this is not the way you were taught to conduct your marriage.
2006-10-30 19:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know that you love your mom and dad but, it is their marriage. I know it's hard to do but, you have to leave their marriage to them. Maybe your father already knows and he is dealing with it his way. I have never heard that any one ever gets away with cheating. If he doesn't know he will soon enough. Don't be the one to let it out, if they eventually break up you won't be the one feeling guilty about ending a family.
2006-10-30 18:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do yourself a favor and mind your own business. You don't know what kind of relationship your mom & Dad really have and you don't know that your dad "doesn't know". You really need to keep this to yourself and leave the adult business to the adults. Godloveya.
2006-10-30 18:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
just let nature take its course. No doubt he felt great love for your mum when he met her but now life has changed and people change - very few people have the same best friends they had 20 years ago for example.
2006-10-30 18:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell your Dad, he has a right to know. Believe it or not he probably already knows and is just living in denial. Trust me, you'll sleep better at night if you tell him.
2006-10-30 18:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by Fivi 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋