I went to a Gay Bar for the first time and 2 guys asked me to go back to house. I said "no" because I didn't know them. Both got mad and walked away. What is up with that.
2006-10-30 10:38:15 · 31 answers · asked by ? 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
they're just whoring around. You did the right thing, don't give it up the first night you meet someone
2006-10-30 12:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by JR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men think the gay bar is a pick up joint. You did the right thing by going with your gut. Don't be discouraged. There are some people out there in the same boat you are. You will meet someone decent at the club where you can get to know them and take it from there. Many people like the guys you met have unprotected sex. Be smart and carry protection with you if you think there is any chance of it going there. You'll meet someone at the bar that you click with. Hang in there.
2006-10-30 19:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by gc27858 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a lesbian I think it is like other dating a guy ask her to go to his house if she is smart she does not go and less she has known him for a long time and possibly has mutual friends. Most of the time they get mad to bad wait until it is a person that you know for awhile see them in public places you did the right thing you did not know either one you will meet someone possibly that won't expect you to go with him until you have known each other for awhile anything could happen going alone with anyone you don't know. Don't stop going out just be careful what you do.
2006-10-30 18:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lolo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you did the right thing. First of all, there were 2 of them. They were most likely in a relationship and just wanted to use you for the night. If they do that often and you are seen leaving with them, you really decreased your chances of getting a boyfriend unless you move to another town. There is also another possibility, 2 guys decide to go gay bashing for the night, go to a gay bar, see someone come in by themselves, and decide to take him back to their place...
Don't go back to someones house unless you are really comfortable with them (and have preferably talked to them on more than one occasion).
2006-10-30 18:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
They probably wanted a 3 way and you want to take your time with one person for now. Nobody should EVER go home with someone out of pressure. You should feel right about it yourself.
If these guys got mad, they didn't respect you and were not worth your time anyway, bud!
Sometimes you walk away from a lot of guys before a nice decent one crosses your path. Trust me, you're not alone!
2006-10-30 18:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did fine to me. They were mad because they wanted you to go back with them and you wouldn't. Plain and simple. They seem like jerks if they can't understand your hesitance.
By the way, it's been fun watching you progress and move forward in your life on this board, from a 'new gay' to already out an in the bars!
Peace.
2006-10-30 18:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should not do anything that seems unsafe to you. If they got mad, that's even MORE reason you should be glad you said, "no." There's no reason to allow someone else to tell you what your sexual expression should be.
You may want to contact your local AIDS services organization. They frequently have discussion groups for people who are just coming out and learning the process of dating in the gay community. You'll get to clarify your values and learn that you are in charge of setting appropriate boundaries. The local AIDS group calls these sessions "Dating 101."
2006-10-30 18:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by NHBaritone 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if you are male or female, gay or straight--there are always people who think that if you are in a 'pickup' bar you shouldn't say no, and those who will get angry if you reject their attentions.
It's just part of the scene. It's lot smarter to say no up front than it is to leave with someone (s) you aren't interested in, and then try to say no. That can be trouble.
2006-10-30 18:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by functionary01 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, totally. You obviously didn't feel comfortable with the idea, so it would be stupid and wrong to agree to it, and if they were insensitive enough to get angry with you just for saying no, then you really didn't want to be with them.
There are nice guys around, just try and wait until you meet some of them, and ignore the rotten ones. Just like on here - some of us are cool, but there are some right scumbags around too!
2006-10-30 18:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by JBoy Wonder 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have a problem with that, since it was your first trip there. But how many people did you expect to know there? Just about everyone was unknown to you, right?
It is very good to sit down and get to know someone first. But unfortunately, many people go to bars just to find someone to take home
2006-10-30 18:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes i think you did the right thing. I dont think that you should go to someone elses house not knowing them. I f would want to get to know them better then go there house that would have been fine. All it sound like to me is that they wanted to havesex with someone just to have sex; not a relation.
2006-10-30 19:20:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋