I thought I was ready but, I miss him. It's better for us to be apart because we don't get along any more. But, I hurt's more than I thought it would, not to be able to talk to them anymore like we use to.
2006-10-30 10:11:56 · 19 answers · asked by melly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, this is not something you can just say "get over it"!!! It just isn't that simple!!! I am going through the same thing and it is NOT easy...it has been 5 years coming and damn my heart still aches! I will tell you this, there is not but just one thing that will help....it is called time. It is true when they say time heals all wounds and the deeper the wound (time together) the longer the healing process. It can be an agonizing process...it is much like a death...in fact it is a death, death of a marriage. I know exactly how you feel, you want it but you don't and you know it is for the best. One thing that continues to get me through is prayer and memories of how bad things could get and of course the proverbial saying "time heals all wounds". I hope this helps and I am so sorry to hear of your divorce. It always makes me sad unless there was violence involved. Then it is a different story. Good luck Yahoo Pal!! Chin up!
2006-10-30 10:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by One Of The Girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to hurt when you lose someone you love. Get busy with other things and try not to think about him. Focus on you. I would suggest that you get some self help books to read and also writing your feelings in a journal does wonders as well. You have to learn to love you more than you love him. I have never been through a divorce but some pretty terrible breakups that are the equivalent. Things will get better in time. What I found that worked for me was to change my surroundings. Get rid of things that remind you of him or least put them away until you are strong enough to look and them and remember when things were good. Get new furnishings, or if you can't afford that change things around in your house so that you feel as if you're in a different place. Get a new telephone number so that he can't contact you and you won't be tempted to call him.
2006-10-30 21:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are feeling. I felt the same way when I divorced my husband many years ago. Even though I was the one that wanted the divorce, it still hurt.
The good news is that it's only temporary. You WILL feel better very soon, so hang in there and don't look back. And don't entertain ideas of going back to him. You are apart for a reason.
2006-10-30 18:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter WHO does the breaking up. It hurts. You need to give yourself some space from him. Focus on YOU, and what you may have done or not done to help mess up the marriage...took to to get there, takes two to break it, also. After you have rediscovered yourself, you may find it ALOT easier in time to talk to him. It took me 6 years, but I am stubborn. We have a daughter, so the 6 yrs should never have happened, but it did. Crying over it OK, too. It is part of the healing process. I kicked an abusive, alcoholic to the curb, and it still hurt because of the time, emotion and everything else that I invested. Good luck to you.
2006-10-30 19:30:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't matter if you were ready, when it finally happens, and you begin to realiaze this is for real, reality set's in, and it makes us sad to let go of someone we once loved. we realiaze that person won't be there to talk to anymore, it's like a bad dream that we wish we could wake up from, that we wish there was some other way to go with this. we will always love them, even if they hurt us.we will always miss them, no matter how many years pass.when we are in the midst of a huge argument all we can think of is getting away from him, but when it really happens sometimes it is more than we expected, we realiaze we did care for this person. sounds like perhaps your having second thoughts,maybe some counciling providing infidelity isn't involved/
2006-10-30 18:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you can't stay married to him doesn't mean that the two of you can't be friends. I know how bad the divorce process takes, I went through a divorce. Who ever thinks when their happily walking down the isle that they'd ever get a divorce? We say "Till Death Do Us Apart" and mean it. I am so sorry and I feel your pain. You should at least try to stay friends with him. It might hurt him just as bad as it's hurting you.
2006-10-30 19:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by ladystarrchild107 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be sad for quite some time. Even when the divorce is something you want or both want, it's still one of the hardest things one has to go through.
A very close friend of mine met a man, married him and divorced him in less than a year. It was something she wanted, but it still didn't help the pain.
Your situation I'm sure is different, he was probably your best friend. Do you miss his friendship, or just having someone around?
Another friend of mine, is still best friends with her ex-husband, just because it didn't work out as husband and wife, they are great friends and have been for years now.
Hang in there!!!
2006-10-30 18:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to hear but take one day at a time. You will hurt for awhile, that comes with ending a relationship. Turn to a friend or buy a journal and write it all out. Try hard to forget him. Find a new interest. Good luck.
2006-10-30 18:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this Melly... the loneliness may be the most difficult part in dealing with this and I would suspect you have been lonely for some time. My best advice is to keep yourself busy, keep friends and family close by, and drudge on... it will get better with time.
2006-10-30 18:32:03 · answer #9 · answered by out of order 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it hurts. It almost doesnt matter how bad the marriage was. The fact that you are ending an important part of your life makes anyone sad. Allow yourself to feel this pain.
2006-10-30 18:14:37 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋