I am 16 and I have a question for all of you adults out there?

Question

I have a friend who is a girl and who is older than me. @ two years ago she got drunk and tried to kiss me and touch me. my cousin who was my gurardian at the time b*****d her out and made her leave me alone. The girl who tried to touch me was like 29 and I was 14. my question is, is what that "friend" did sexual assult? my cousin said it was and I could press charges and she would be there for me. see this "friend" was my cousins friend for like the past 13 yrs, but she says that doesn't matter. I went home to live with my mom and now i wish I could go back with my cousin but now she has moved away and says she will always be there for me but I can't "hip hop" between the two places, Is she right to say this or does she just not care about me anymor? I need an answer to both of these questions. also I still have nightmares of when the "friend" tried to touch and kiss me, so what do I do??

I want to talk to my cousin, but do you think she would listen or even care?

Answer 1

It is called child molestation and yes she should be charged before another child becomes in harms way. Only you can stop her from hurting other children. And sorry to hear what happen, but you need therapy to deal with it before your nightmares becomes worst.

Answer 2

Yes what this "friend" did to you is sexual molestation of a minor and can be very well prosecuted.. and yes your cousin was right to keep you in your mothers house she is also right about not being bounce from place to place... you are better of with mom.. because im willing to bet that your cousin got scared now that a female try to molest you I know I would being a guardian is a big responsability the word says it GUARDIAN means she has to protect you and this person was a female.. maybe she is a little freaked out about this and you should give her sometime to get over it and when you get a little older she will let you come back,about this friend you should get some counseling and if really bother you.. you should write a police report and make a complaint to the police and they will decide whether to press charges or not wich I think they will.... the counseling will help you cope with this thing that happend to you.. is bad but you will be ok... good luck hon.

Answer 3

Well, it probably would be considered sexual assault in most jurisdictions, but probably only marginally. It was clearly assault, even if not considered all that sexual. With same-sex contacts, it's hard to know where the line is. It made you upset, and you still have nightmares two years later, so it was clearly a wrong thing for her to do.

As to pressing charges, that's a tough call. It's hard enough to get a conviction when there is more real contact than you have described; pulling off your clothes, for example. But you need to talk it over with the D.A.'s office, if for no other reason than to help them if other girls are assaulted by this same woman. And make no mistake: at 29, that's not a girl, that's a woman. She had no business touching a 14-year-old girl at all, let alone enough to upset you like this.

I'm afraid I did not understand the second question about your cousin. Perhaps you want to rephrase it and submit it again.

Answer 4

I would say no, it's not really sexual assult, maybe child molestation. She was somebody you knew obviously. Consider when she did this to you, she was drunk. You may not know now, but alcohal changes a person and makes them more aggressive and careless. I know a lot of girls who try this to others (guys/girls) but they were drinking and being stupid. I'm guessing she's never done this to you but that one time, right? and she wasn't physically hurting you or forcing you to get naked? You said you told your cousin and what your guardian cousin should have done was explain this to you and have her "friend" apologize for making you feel uncomfortable. I don't think you could actually file a police report for this, but just make sure you always speak up if you're not sure. My advice would be to try to move on, b/c I'm sure she meant no harm and doesn't physically want to do things to you. Just try not to think about it, occupy yourself with school, friends, sports, something that makes you happy. As far as your cousin not wanting you to "hip hop" between places totaly makes sense. Try living with your mom like you've been but instead of wanting to live w/your cousin, ask her if you could visit her more and keep in contact over email or phone. Either that or see what your mom/cousin both think about you living with your cousin-if it'd benifit you more than where you are already. Maybe your cousin feels bad that you were hurt from one of her friends and feels guilty, so she doesn't want you to live w/her so this can't happen again. Whichever place you live at, make sure you plan to be there for longterm. It's so hard to go back and forth between two different homes(I know, my parnets are divorced). I know it may sound typical, but they (cousin and mom) really are looking out for you and your best interest, so you may not realize it now, but whatever happens happens for a reason! Good luck with all!

Answer 5

Yes, what that woman did was sexual assault. Anything that happens sexually against your will is assault. Not only that, but this woman abused her power as an adult. If you are having nightmares about it, I suggest counseling to help deal with those feelings. Talking to the right person can really relieve a lot of anxiety. And I'm sure your cousin still loves you. She probably feels that your mother has a right to raise you, and she may feel guilty about what happened with the other woman.

Answer 6

What that woman did was absolutely wrong and just short of child molestation which is one of the worst crimes imaginable. You could definitely press charges, but you'll have to search your own soul as to whether you want to do that or not.

And your cousin's right. You'll have to wait till you are both older and have the freedom of travel that comes with adulthood. But you can always write each other and keep in touch over the internet till then.

I hate to say it, but most people who become gay were influenced at an early age by someone older. You are lucky your cousin was there to keep that ***** in check.

Answer 7

What that "friend" did was indeed sexual assault. You should have pressed charges at the time. Because so much time has passed you will have more difficulty making the charges stick, unless there were witnesses that will back you up. In the meantime you can get counselling to help deal with the nightmares.

Answer 8

it is a form of sexual assault if she was 29 and you were 14. you were a minor and could press charges. your cousin still may care for you but feels you are better off with your mother. as for the nightmares try talking to someone you trust.

Answer 9

Yes it was sexual assult but you had 2 press the charges then not years later that's really hard 2 prove.She may want 2 still be your friend but who knows maybe she just wants sex from U.
As 4 her touching U if it was truly that bad then she should of been put in jail & your guardian really didn't care cause if it was me she would of gone 2 jail that nite.

Answer 10

Geez, you poor girl. How can someone of an older age do something like that to someone so young.

I think you should go ahead with the charges. It's the best thing for you to do. If your cousin says she'll be there for you, then I'm sure she means it. If she didn't care for you anymore she wouldn't have said any thing at all.

Good luck. And sorry to hear this.

Answer 11

You should report it. I have been raped before and didn't report it. But I put him on blast to the world. And something went horribly wrong when you stayed with your cousin the first time I think you should stay with your mom. Get a job, save your money, finish school, and get a place of your own where no one can do you harm. Good Luck hun