many women on this forum. i am married - love my wife -do everything for her - wine & dine,flowers, daily massage, help around the house, shopping, look after the kids - love the kids - they are my life - would never do anything to hurt her or kids but.........................she will not kiss, cuddle or have sex with me unless she wants to - had sex 3 times in past 4 years. tried everything, nothing works - DO NOT reply seek counselling - dont need it - tried everything already!! just want someone to hold me, kiss me passionately and make love to me occassionally - Ladies am i asking too much - please do not advice to leave my wife - i love her -this is not an option - should i seek sex elsewhere? before the men start i am not a timid little guy - i am 6'2", 16 stone, Martial Arts instructor, in good shape - just caught between love and a hard place!!
2006-10-30 08:44:03 · 45 answers · asked by Jo J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can there be a hormonal problem with your wife that lowers her sex-drive? It might be something medical.
Just a thought.
2006-10-30 08:46:28 · answer #1 · answered by artisticallyderanged 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you I really do. And I don't think that you are asking for alot. There are times that I don't want anything but in a relationship you have to go both ways and about the seeking sex else wears I am not going to tell you yes or no that is a serious question and should not be taken lightly.
2006-10-30 08:48:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is a tough one!!
I hate to say this but I have been there in past relationships! And if you are still really being romantic with her and doing all the things women love, it may just be that she has fallen out of love with you!! Ask her, women aren't great liars.
And ok, if it isn't this. Women can experience a loss of sexual drive as well. Maybe she is stressed or something else is causing it. There are medications she can take to increase that drive if she is willing. Maybe do some research on the internet and bring it up to her! Trust me, we like it as much as men do and if she is missing it, she will be willing to do anything!!!
Good luck!!
2006-10-30 08:48:04 · answer #3 · answered by Meg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a sensitive and caring individual who's needs are not being met. However before you slide into a situation you need to ask yourself a few question. Do you think you will be able to live with the guilt of sleep with someone else? What would happen if she found out? Are you willing to run that risk? You said she has been in the mood three times in four years? Will what were the circumstances then? Was it after you went some place special? Try to think back and remember maybe you can spark the mood back up again instead of risky what you have with a woman you love very much.
Plus cut back on the daily massage and the bring home the flower every. By doing that you make the special ordinary. Do it when she makes you feel special. Why bother going you anything extra of she is getting all of this anyway.
Continue with the housework and the kids cause that's your responsibility too.
2006-11-01 20:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure you've spoken to her about this...i cant imagine why she has such a low sex drive. it very well could be due to stress, medication, or even diet. she should see a doctor just to get a health screening. the problem is not you n she may not be concious to whats goin on. just keep an open honest relationship work together on this. if not then, what you do for kicks is yr call. good luck.
2006-10-30 08:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Rayknee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awe! thats not fair to you at all honey!!!!! Do you ever ask her what her problem is? You need to. DO NOT go for sex elsewhere!!!!!! That will break the two of you up for good! Try not doing all the nice things for her that you do. If she is not giving you anything in return for all the nice awesome things you do for her, then stop doing them. Except for all the stuff you do for and with the kids. She needs to wake up and realize that she has a good man!!!!!
2006-10-30 08:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by Hydimyangel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a good question. Of course you shouldnt leave her because of that and I am glad to see that you feel the same way. Have you tried talking to her about it? Is she taking any medication? A friend of mine recently started taking blood pressure medicine and she says she just isn't in the mood anymore. Try talking to her and explain to her how you feel. Maybe that will work. Good luck.
2006-10-30 08:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try talking to your wife tell her how you feel that might help or why not put a little more spice into your sex life make it more exciting hope it all works out for you.
2006-10-30 08:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is odd, I had a 10 yr relationship that was like a marriage and I think we went thru that b4 but it was sex 3 times in a month. He made it very clear that, that was unacceptable and wanted to know what the problem was. We were going through some rough times but he didn't feel that it should affect my sex drive when in fact it did. You need to talk to her and find out if the family life has taken toll on her. She may need a vacation or maybe she is wondering what her next accomplishment should be. some people doing the same thing in and out feel trapped where sex is even boring and just not interesting. It sounds like something is happening with her. A lot of couples stay married cuz it is the right thing to do but have not had sex in a year. This is where the affairs start up and then the other person can't seem to figure out why?? I would hate to hear that you drifted away from the marriage but you need to not beat around the bush. Tell her exactly what you told us and maybe take a weekend getaway without the kids. She could be bored and needs to get that old feeling back.
2006-10-30 08:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by Charisma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient but bring more intimacy into your relationship. Could it be possible that she had a rough childhood? Sometimes women who were sexually abused have a hard time with showing affection. Find out if she needs a lot of emotional attention. Maybe there are things about her past that you need to ask her about. Start there. Im sure it is difficult for you since you only had sex three times in the past four years. You need to talk to her about how you feel and make her open up and tell you the truth why she doesnt like to show affection or have sex. Try to fix your marriage first before you start seeking sex elsewhere. good luck!
2006-10-30 08:56:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked with her about this? Communication is the best key. I can say particularly since I've had children that my drive isn't like it used to be. It's good that you help out, I'm sure this helps her. However, maybe the stress of everyday life and the kids is wearing her out. Has she ever been treated for depression? Or, could she possibly be depressed?
I would let her know that you are not happy with the situation and you want to work it out. If she loves you enough, she should come to a compromise.
2006-10-30 08:53:08 · answer #11 · answered by angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋