My boyfriend is having alot of problems at work, (suspension without pay, possible termination) He is, understandably, stressed and depressed. What can I do to help? In his situation, would you want to just be left alone or what? I am trying to be supportive, loving, stand by my man, all that stuff, but it seems like it is having no effect. So, guys, what should I do?
2006-10-30 08:38:46 · 13 answers · asked by Lotus 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, should I, um, not initiate sex? I feel guilty for wanting it when he is so obviously stressed out. I can wait, though, it's not a big deal. BUT, should I? Or should I ravage him as usual? LOL
2006-10-30 08:59:56 · update #1
Whatever you do, DON'T NAG and DON'T GIVE ADVICE UNLESS HE ASKS FOR IT.
Be quietly supportive - let him know you love him, and will love him no matter what.. but do not tell him what he should do, or complain if he doesn't handle his business the way you think he should.
A lot of women do that... and it really rubs men the wrong way.
It's great that you're backing up your man... keep it up. But don't try to be his mommy and fix his mistakes for him - he needs to make the decisions he needs to make - if he needs you're advice, he will ask for it.
If you do that, things should work out.
Good luck (and I hope your man works out his job problems)
2006-10-30 08:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a guy, but I've been in this situation. It depends on the guy, but just being "quietly supportive" is a good idea. Make his favorite meal, give him massages every night, and yes, ravage him (but just see how he reacts...if he clearly doesn't want it, back off...that's why you should start with massage and kissing first) Hang in there...he probably appreciates that you're trying, but it's hard to fake being happy in a situation like that. Best of luck to you guys.
2006-10-30 09:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are from mars, Men are problem solvers and not talking about his problems to his friends or you. He has to deal with it in his own way. Listen if he opens up, Support from a distance, and understand that if he is not doing what you would do in the same situation don't worry because its not the same mind set there is nothing wrong just different.
2006-10-30 08:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably not much you can do. Why is he having these problems? Is he open about it? Is he taking advice? In any event, it's going to be something that he will have to solve, with or without you. You just accept him for who he is and maybe he'll find a way to work out his own situation. I wouldn't really want anyone, even my partner, into my work, etc. That's my space, not necessarily shared space, but maybe that's just me.
2006-10-30 08:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by seattlego 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him what you just asked right here. Ask him what you can do to help and if that means just giving him some space that is fine. Tell him you want to help and be supportive, but that you do not want to compound his problems right now and you want him to tell you what if anything you can do to help. Let him know you are there for what ever, all he needs to do is ask. That way he will know that you care and are there for him, but you are not making him feel like a failure by pampering him or trying to soothe things over.
2006-10-30 08:52:22 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's bringing it on himself tell him to straighten his *** up. If not tell him to find another job. As for the sex thing GO FOR IT!!! Sex is always a good thing. And a great stress reliever.
2006-10-30 09:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Bill D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him to get off his butt and do his job right. it seems like he is bringing all this on himself . if he was doing his job right he wouldn't be having these problems. do you get the picture. if you want to stand by him give him a good push in the right direction.
2006-10-30 09:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by pickledaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quiet support. Listen without trying to solve his problems for him (although you likely can), just be close by.
2006-10-30 08:41:18 · answer #8 · answered by Rich B 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have to be patient and caring. Tell him you love him no matter what. Go for the sex, he'll tell you if he's not interested!
2006-10-30 09:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by fruninto 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be supportive. If he does not want to talk about it, talk about something else.
2006-10-30 08:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by Bill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋