i have been with her for over 2 years. we are both 20 and go to college and work part time. we have lived together for about 2 years. she is my reason for waking up every morning and i would do anything for her. she completes me. i want to marry her i don't know if i need to just go in debt to buy her a ring. or wait until i graduate and can afford a really nice one. it's going to be like 4 more years before i graduate. i love her and don't want her to think that i'm not marrying her for some reason or to wonder why i'm not asking. my mother says that by living together and not marrying her makes her look bad or like i don't really value her enough to actually marry her (which is horse crap). plus like every woman she wants a Mr. T looking diamond ring from like zales or whatever. i want to be the most perfect man for her i can be but i mean i have to stay true to myself as well. she truly is the one for me. i just don't really know what to do. please help me
2006-10-30 08:31:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why don't you get her an affordable ring, or be cutesie, and get some gold or silver ribbon and when you are ready to pop the question, tie it around her finger. Tell her you love her and want to marry her. But for now, this will have to do until I can afford the ring I really want to get you. A girl will melt. Plus, tell her that you didn't want to settle on a ring you could afford right now, when you will get the one you really want soon. She will love the gesture. Good luck.
2006-10-30 08:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by kimmypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a few different viewpoints on this, so here goes.
If you love her and she loves you she will be willing to wait until you can afford the ring she wants. And the wedding, trust me, this is another expense that you will have to think of very quickly after giving her the ring. I waited over five years before my husband proposed and we had lived together for about 3 years of that. So it is possible to wait. And even if you decide just to wait a few more years, start putting aside even just $100 a month. Then at least you will have a little cash to pay up front and then you can get the rest on a credit card that doesn't charge interest the first six months to a year!! There are ways to do this without going into debt, and everyone is right. The size of the ring shouldn't matter, but she can still want a nice one. She will figure it out.
If you do decide to wait, maybe just get her a promise ring. I know that is a little outdated and some people see it as cheesey, but if she sees that you care about her enough to do that and put in the effort to save for the ring she really wants, she will appreciate it!
And don't worry about what other people are saying or thinking. We don't live in a world anymore that it is wrong or looked down upon for two people to live together before marriage!! I would have rather done that and found out that something wouldn't work over moving in with someone after the wedding to find out it was all wrong!!
You sound like a great guy and I'm sure things will work out in your favor!! Good luck!!
2006-10-30 08:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Meg 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buying the perfect ring is important as it is a symbol of your love. Maybe if the Mother thinks its so bad that your not married she should pay for the ring. You both know that you love each other, your schooling is your first priority at the moment study hard get your degree than get married you'll be 24 by then and ready for such a big commitment,
2006-10-30 08:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ring totolly should not matter. My husband spent $79 on my ring, and I love it. She should understand that rings can get a bit exspensive, and that she should settle for something that you can afford if she truely wants to get married right now. You can always upgrade later on. So if you two truley love each other and want to get married talk about it. The ring is just a symbol and if she has to have a big exspensive symbol than I would not marry her.
2006-10-30 08:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Heather W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry her now, tell her and let her help you decide what to do. One possibility is to buy a 'cheaper ring, have a small wedding..to make things legal and then when you graduate from college you can have the big wedding. The of course she would have to agree to. Talk to her, she is the ones with the answers that matteres...not us. Good luck
2006-10-30 12:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by KaLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she really loves you and wants to marry you then whether its an expensive ring or not should not matter. a few years down the line when you have some money then buy her a lovely eternity ring.
Living together is a commitment so dont get pushed into marrying for the sake of it. but if its truly what you want then go for it but remember you dont have to flash the cash to show how much you love her.
2006-10-30 08:38:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude!! Marriage is a lot lot more than buying her a diamond ring!
Have you thought of the expenses afterward, the responsibilities that come with marriage?
Going by your preoccupation with the ring, and that you are just 20, you really need have some growing up to do.
I'd say, give some time for your relationship and yourself to mature.
2006-10-30 08:36:13 · answer #7 · answered by Appu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 20.
You still can't drink legally and you want to get married!!!
Between 20 and 25 you will have a lot growing to do. She is going to change and so are you.
You both have potential, but that's all right now.
Give yourself and her time to achieve something for yourself first. Get established in a career so you can say this in me and the kind of life I have to offer.
Right now all you both have to offer each other are dreams and what if they don't com true? There are lots of marriages where one or the other becomes resentful because the other one life up to their potential.
2006-10-30 08:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should not care about the size of the ring at all. All that should matter is that you want her for the rest of your lives!!!!!!! If you really want that expensive ring, wait until you can afford it. You sound like a wonderful person. Good luck.
2006-10-30 08:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Hydimyangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey my ring was like 200 bucks from sears. she should consider herself lucky. i had some guy try and pick up on me and he told me "that isnt a wedding ring" and i had to tell him, well it is my wedding ring. most embarassing moment of my life. you should buy her an engagement ring that fits your budget (but for goodness sakes, dont buy it from SEARSblaghhh) ask her, put the engagement ring on her, dont live with her yet, because you both need to learn how to handle money on your own and be responsible with it, then wait a little while after you graduate and have a steady job to give her the wedding of her dreams. plan it all out WITH her.
2006-10-30 08:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by Hurray for the ANGELS! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋