My mother in law is giving my soon to be ex a 40th birthday party. She called me and invited me and said that she wanted to but it was up to me to come or not. She and I get along pretty well although she is a bit, um, different. Anyway, my husband left me 6 months ago with the lame excuse that we weren't getting along. It turned out that he was involved with some other woman. That broke up 2 months ago. ( my mother in law keep saying that it is midlife crisis and I should just wait. I laugh in response) Anyway, we have two kids, who I will have that weekend. Is it terribly horrible to not attend and take the kids somewhere else that weekend?
2006-10-30 08:05:54 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
stay home and enjoy your kids.........
2006-10-30 08:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey Betty, So are you supposed to be the good person, above it all and turn the other cheek after this guy lied and cheated, all maybe for the sake of what...the kids? Maybe and only maybe, if he invited you himself and confessed all his regrets might you consider going to his party. His mother has her agenda, which is to reunite you, primarily for the sake of her son's happiness and her ability to remain close to the grandchildren. Although you seem to get alone fine, you are going to be last on the list from her point of view. I'd call her back and simply say that as much as you appreciate the thought, you've decided that the timing isn't right at the moment. Further, discussing details with her will not serve your best interests. Best to keep this strictly between him and you. It would take a lot for me to even consider a reconciliation under the circumstance...probably would never happen. Oh, and mid-life crisis is an acceptable excuse? Some how, it doesn't work for me. What if the shoe was on the other foot? How would he or she feel if you were sleeping around, eh? Don't let yourself be fooled. If it's over, then it's over. No more BS parties, just time to move on. Good luck and make the best of the rest of your life!
2006-10-30 08:26:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy do I know what you are going thru. I to have an Ex of 6 months and there isn't enough money in the world to get me to go to his "party" or anything else. We do not have kids so I'm not sure about taking them somewhere else. I have a tendency to be a bit of a push over, but I think I would offer the kids to go. Maybe trade weekends or something. As for the in law, my father in law seems to be doing the same thing, hoping that we can get back together. What is it with men and the "not getting along" thing? Mine pulled the same line.
2006-10-30 08:26:59 · answer #3 · answered by blackcatmingus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO GO to the party. Tell you mother-in-law that you accept the invitation with a "plus one." That means that you will be bringing someone along. Just the anticpation of this will drive your husband crazy! Then dress as best as you can possibly dress for the occasion, and bring along a good MALE friend.
(Can you tell I get my ideas from "Desperate Housewives?")
On top of this, your children SHOULD and MUST attend their father's 40th birthday party if they want. He may have been a lousy husband, but if he is a good father, then the kids should attend.
As for your part a little "good for the goose, good for the gander" may humble your husband a little!
By the way, this is a 38 year old guy giving you this advice.
2006-10-30 08:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh,my! If the children are invited it would be wrong not to let them go. On the other hand if you are the only one invited, DON'T GO!
It will only give him the idea that you care. Do you care? Keep laughing, all the way to the bank. Your soon to be ex does not deserve you and no offence, but your mama in law is hoping to get you two back together and that would be wrong. He didn't stick by you and his so called mid-life crisis is just crap.
I'm sorry. I tend to be a little sarcastic when men ruin everything because their balls get itchy. Take care. The most important thing right now are the children and your happiness. Cheers! =)
2006-10-30 08:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, but I would let the kids go. My ex and I remained friends for many years after our divorce. He was a terrific dad and my daughter is much better off by having had him in her life. We both remarried and we were all very close. He passed away last winter and I miss him terribly. At first in most break-ups there is a lot of anger especially if he was cheating. He may have just had a stupid streak and your mother in law may be right. Like I said, follow your heart...that little voice that tells you what to do, it is usually right. Good Luck!
2006-10-30 08:14:09 · answer #6 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother-in-law really hopes things work out between the two of you. You husband, on the other hand, probably does not want to see you. I would let the kids go over there to see their father on his birthday, but I would not personally attend. You can say hi and happy birthday when you pick the kids up.
2006-10-30 08:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by Bill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd take the kids an go some where else. Unless you married to some 55yr old man he is not going though midlife crisis. He is just overly sexed and needs to release all that he can. I would say most of all the men on this planet claim he needs sex more and more, until he get a grip on his sex drive. Start over and kiss this one goodbye. GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-30 08:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by flying bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Key word here is "ex". Do what you want to do and don't worry about it. Apparently your mother-in-law is trying to get the two of you back together. Thank her for the invitation, but tell her you would not feel comfortable and take the kids out for the day. Send a present if you like, but don't you dare feel guilty about not going.
2006-10-30 08:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by Emm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it relatively is extremely unlawful in quite some tactics. the father sounds like he's obsessive and particularly a stalker. in the experience that your chum isn't careful, she gets herself into somewhat some worry. If companionship is what she is calling for she gets from others her very own age. this occasion can get out of hand and the guy would be caught as doing some concern statutory. Your chum needs to end what ever it relatively is with this guy till now it gets from now on out of hand. If it gets lower back to her mothers and dads, they'd pursue it to the subsequent point & it relatively is going to likely be a criminal action.
2016-10-21 00:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by grewe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go, sweetheart. Nothing good will come of it. If he is acting nice to you, it will toy with your emotions and heart. If he's not, you will feel awkward and out of place. It's possible that you are invited largely because it is your weekend with the kids... But he can see them on his visits. Right now, they are all you have, so take them somewhere special and enjoy your time with them... Forget about the party... Good luck! ♥
2006-10-30 08:11:34 · answer #11 · answered by ♥ Butterfly ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋