okay, Im 21, unmarried, in a serious, happy relationship with a great guy. We talk about having a future together, house, kids the whole thing. My problem is (and maybe Im just crazy) I have been thinking about having a baby for like over a year now. Every time I see a girl with a baby, I feel so sad because I dont have one. It makes me depressed! Im on birth control and I take it EVERY day because I know that its the right thing for my bf and I right now. But this is driving me crazy! His sister just had a baby girl (and I REALLY want a girl) and Im so jealous! I dont EVER do anything about how I feel. I try to ignore it because I feel like one of those psycho girls on talk shows who get pregnant just to have a baby. I try to ignore it all the time. Is this normal? Am I crazy or something? I try to tell myself to chill, out, enjoy being young and that some day, I'll get married and have a baby and a family of my own but it still bothers me that I think about this. Am I crazy or what?
2006-10-30 08:02:37 · 14 answers · asked by katie-bug 5 in Health ➔ Women's Health
yesterday, my bf and I were at a party and there was this pretty little girl in a purple dress, playing. My bf looked at me and said "I want one!" and he's said that before. Every time he does, it drives me nuts cause Im trying to forget about it for now!
2006-10-30 08:11:31 · update #1
I know how you feel. I am 20 and have been married for a little over a year now. My husband and I have been together for 4 years all together. I want to start having a family right now, but he doesn't. He has 2 younger siblings and I am the youngest. He didn't really get to do anything when he was growing up because he had to basically raise his sister and brother. We fight a lot abou this because I want one and he dont'. Nothing is wrong with you. It is just your motherly instincts. I hate taking birth control every day when I am the one that wants a baby. Every day I think about it. I find myself looking up things on the internet about babies and things for babies. I find myself crying a lot because I want one so bad. I know we don't need a baby right now but I still want one. Nothing is wrong with you I promise. Don't worry you will have a baby when the time is right.
2006-10-30 11:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by adcutbirth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait wait wait... I wanted a baby when I was younger than you, YOUNGER than you, and though I love my daughter more than my own life, I wish now that I would have waited, my ex husband and I were too young, not finished growing up, you'd be surprised at how much you change between the ages of teens to late 20's early 30's. You and your hunny may think that you agree on most of the important things, think alike, are the perfect fit, but you will change, both of you, this is NOT to say that you won't make it, but adding the stress of a new baby, when you are starting a new life together can backfire on you, and your beautiful baby grow's up in either an unhappy home, or a broken home. Start your lives together, really get to know each other, those things that are cute now can become annoying later :) And when the time is right, when you both want a baby and can provide him/her with a happy, stable home, then you all will be so much happier!! Good Luck!
2006-10-30 08:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by JazzyLynn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not crazy. You just know what you want and have the urge to get it now. Stay on the bc and talk in more detail with your boyfriend on a time frame. Don't force the issue, just get more of a ballpark idea on when these things can start to unfold. Don't seem too anxious or it will freak him out even though he wants the same things. Guys have an order in which things need to happen and when we throw our biological clock monkeywrenches in it messes things up. Keep your cool it will happen when it's supposed to happen. Be patient. Your time will come soon. Enjoy being 21 and having no responsibility because once the babies and house and hubby come along, that becomes your focus.
2006-10-30 08:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by eehco 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not crazy... wanting a family is pretty normal. It sounds like you have a good relationship and that the two of you are on the same page about wanting kids someday and that's great. It also sounds like you have a good handle on your personal reasons why it's not the best thing for you right now. None of that makes the desire go away, though. I don't really know what to tell you about that... except that it's not crazy!
2006-10-30 08:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by mockingbird 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I say you and your boyfriend should sit down and talk about a rough estimate timeline of what you want in life. Say, finish college in one year, get married in this amount of time.... set goals and make sure one of those goals is having the child you both want so much. My husband and I talked a lot about our expectations and when we wanted to start a family. It really helped settle things down a bit.
Set financial goals as well, because babies cost money! If the timeline does not pan out perfectly, its ok. Knowing that you have a rough time frame of when you will have a child might curb the "must reproduce now!" urge you have. You are young, you have time. Concentrate on being together right now, and let your life fall into place. :-)
2006-10-30 08:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetpea, am answering you, though am not a lady! My advice to you is that please have patience. You still have other 21 yrs in which you can have a baby. Having a baby is not just getting pregnant and giving birth. You have to feed it (or her since you need a girl!), you will have to educate her, clothe her,blah.blah,....Think about those things. They are the difficult parts of having a baby. The biological part is just a matter of seconds, but the survival part of it will be a hard process! So be patient,talk to your BF about it, don't rush.
Hope all goes well for your prompt decision. Good luck!
2006-10-30 08:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by akady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know how your feeling i lost a baby last year btw im 24 my neice this past year had a son and shes 22 i think than my other niece had twins and shes only 18 sure im a little jealous that they got to have thier babies but at the same time im like thank god because neither one of my neice's are financially stable and neither am i so i am just gonna wait.there is also the possibility i may never be able to carry so i may have to adopt but thats ok i know its gods plan and not mine.so be patient when the time is right you will know it.good luck sweetie
2006-10-30 08:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't crazy, you are going thru a pretty typical response. Just be smart and keep telling yourself that your time will come.
Only have a baby when you have the ability to house feed clothe and love it for a minimum of 21 years. It's really a life long commitment.
2006-10-30 08:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not crazy.....just remember it is better for the baby if you wait till its the right time in your life.......my advice is to get married, get reasonably finacially secure, and live as a couple for a while.....enjoy married life first cause once a baby enters the picture priorities change and so do the dynamics of a marriage....Just be patient...you can do your family better if you wait until you are emotionally and finacially capable of raising a child.
2006-10-30 08:12:16 · answer #9 · answered by kndykisz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, your not crazy. Maternal instincts kicking in! I used to think that way all the time too. You and your bf will someday be married and have 97 kids of your own! Try not to feel so down about it becuz your time is coming soon!
2006-10-30 08:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by zoe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋