My family ALWAYS chooses Thanksgiving, Christmas, Graduations, etc., to debate/ARGUE loudly about topics like religion, politics, the war in Iraq, money at MY house. What should I do? I am tired of being the referee as well as the hostess! HELP!
2006-10-30 07:58:31 · 8 answers · asked by mychemicalromancelover 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
well, you can either play referee and change the subject for them every time they bring up something or...you could start thanksgiving this year with an announcement. (which is what i would do) i would say, "my holiday dinner is not a forum to debate sensitive topics that no one can agree on. it is a place and time to spend together enjoying the holidays. if the lot of you cannot curb your arguments and leave the taboo topics for discussion at another time, i will no longer be hosting or attending holiday celebrations with any of you." if they can't leave the arguments for another time, then do what you said and start your own traditions with your immediate family.
2006-10-30 08:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your family sounds very dysfunctional. I feel sorry for you. On a day when we should be 'giving thanks', your group is cussing. What to do? 1 of 2 things: Either let 'em go and ignore it and just continue to be a good hostess - or 2: warn each of them when they arrive that no loud arguments or shouting at the table (or anywhere else for that matter) will be tolerated. Lay down the law! There is no reason for you to put up with such childish behavior. Tell them they are welcome as long as they act civil. THEY should be thankful you are cooking. Maybe next year, you should think about going to a restaurant for brunch. Good luck!
2006-10-30 11:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by lizadad1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have to be a bit forceful; firm.
"While I'm sure this may turn into an interesting debate since we all have our own opinions and feel strongly about the subject, I was hoping that we could keep the conversation a bit lighter today since it is Thanksgiving. I would appreciate your consideration and help in this matter."
Or something of the sort.
2006-10-30 08:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by betsymaemae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. It happens to me when I host. Just act clueless and change the subject. Act like you don't notice that they're acting up. The worst thing you can do is call attention to their crazy behavior. Don't give them a lecture or anything like that. That kind of thing is too heavy for a holiday celebration. Try to keep the mood light.
Good luck.
2006-10-30 10:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Roberts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the hostess, then you can direct the conversation in the way you want it to go.
2006-10-30 08:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the subject and hope everyone that was uncomfortable in that conversation will follow the leader.
2006-10-30 08:00:36 · answer #6 · answered by KEL971 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pour a glass of liquor and block them out...Or have a great idea and suggest that this year you all go somewhere else.... or take a vacation.
2006-10-30 08:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by chelly01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them you don't want to hear it anymore. If they start up, get out of your chair and start collecting their plates, thank them for coming and say get the hell out.
2006-10-30 08:01:00 · answer #8 · answered by Have gun, will travel. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋