Currently mentoring a young teen boy for 1 &1/2 years. We get along pretty good and have fun together when we do things. We do lost of stuff, hanging out, hockey games, etc.. For the most part I have kept things fun. He has shown little initiative in our relationship. He never calls me. I must initiate any contact and I do all the planning. Which for the most part is to be expected, but I believe that after a year and a half, that he should be showing some ownership of the friendship aka a phone call or something. I even asked him to call me this weekend and let me know how his soccer tournament went and he never called. I have also been catching him in lies lately about school, etc... He has problems with school and has not been open to me helping him (his mom is no help in this matter). Am I expecting too much? Should I push him to take some ownership? Should I make him bring his homework over when he comes to my house? It make me mad that he shows no ownership at all.
2006-10-30 07:58:08 · 7 answers · asked by jjohnpeterman 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think the problem lies with the fact that you are a mentor and not the father. Without knowing the relationship between him and his parents, maybe he has social problems at home and school and he just isn't the type of kid that takes initiative because peopel keep putting him down. Maybe he needs a confidence boost. Find something that he is good at and praise him to the hilt. Get his confidence going.
2006-10-30 09:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are mentoring within a scheme you should have guidelines about what you can and cant do.
I think you could get too heavy by pushing him about school and homework and you could well undo what you have acheived so far. You are amentor, you encourage...you dont force. Help him to make his own "right" decisions and keep your relationship light. He probably values it a lot more than he shows!
2006-10-30 16:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by huggz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, Peterman, you aren't his dad.
Maybe you are expecting too much?
It's nice when a mentoring situation clicks, but they don't always. Maybe part of it is the fact his real father isn't around and he feels this is the norm.
Maybe you should mentor more than one kid? That way your time is more full?
Maybe you should adopt? Then all your time would be full.
2006-10-30 16:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not expecting to much. Yes you should push him to take some ownership,but in a respect full way. Yes you should make him bring his H.W. to your house.
2006-10-30 16:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by redcatformonmills 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your an adult i think you should break up with him cus thats nasty. pluse it sound to me like he is cheating on you wich is to be expected when your dateing a younger man next time go for someone your own age that might help sorry but it is true.
2006-10-30 16:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by Chanti 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He probably don't like you as much as you think.
2006-10-30 17:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by Nicholais S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably wants some space
2006-10-30 16:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by styce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋