I am seventeen years old and I just found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. Ive gone to my OBGYN and everything, and I want to keep my baby because I dont believe in abortion. However my boyfriend who i'm pregnant by wants me to get an abortion. He said that if I dont have one he will still take care of the baby but that it will be very hard and he "would feel like his life is over" and I dont think he would be with me. I've been with him for a long time (over two years), and I love him very much. I know he loves me too, however I would rather keep my baby then get an abortion so that he will stay with me. What can I possibly say or do to convince him that I should keep the baby?
please dont answer if your going to tell me how stupid I am for having sex at a young age and getting pregnant....I already know what I did was wrong and dumb, and I have learned from it and am taking responsibility for my actions....helpfull answers only!
2006-10-30 07:48:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am going to tell you that I was in your shoes at seventeen years old. I chose to keep my baby, and she will turn sixteen next month. I am blessed by this child. She is one of the best things that could have happened to me. I am now 33y/o. My advice is this: Now you have some serious decisions to make, but please don't let abortion be one of them. There are so many couples who are willing to love and provide for your baby. If you do decide to keep the baby,know that your live is now all about you and your baby. Considering the father's attitude now, I wouldn't make future plans with him as part of the equation. However,don't sell him short. He may be feeling just as scared as you are right now. I chose to finish high school and then further my education to provide for myself and my baby. I went to a vocational school and became an LPN, then much later(10 years later), enrolled in college. If you believe in God, know that he will forgive us for our mistakes if we ask and are truly repentant. Then God in all is glory will help us get our lives back on track. What ever you decide,God will be there for you. Talk to your parents. no matter what they are feeling now,they still love you and you will forever be their little girl. May God bless you and your family. I pray that He gives you strength,wisdom, and the patience to endure.
2006-10-30 09:15:04 · answer #1 · answered by newcreature74 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your life is not over when you have a child, i fell pregnant at 19 and had the baby at 20, not planned i was on the pill and didnt want children, although my career choice was. My partner took it great, but i thought we had messed our lives up and like you i dont believe in abortions, my daughter is now two and i am 22, we have 2 family holidays a year, and we also go away with out each other with our friends about twice a year too, we go out with friends or as a family. i finished college shortly after i gave birth and i am starting uni in January to become a teacher.
I only work part time, and my partner works full time. We have found that being flexible, trusting each other and working as a family have helped us enormously. People cant believe how well we are doing and we have no debts, and dont want a mortgage to tie us down so we rent. you will do just fine. Life goes on,and you can pretty much do as you please in this day and age. Dont worry if you havent travelled the world yet or not finished college Etc theres plenty of time ! and the love of a child is unbeatable, i am so glad i have a child and thank the stars every day for her, we are planning our second very soon. good luckx
2006-10-30 16:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by dippydon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a baby at the age of 17 and went thru the exact thing. Me and the father aren't together and I am thankful for that. I realized that although I knew I needed to grow up that he wasnt going to. The old saying Boys will be Boys is true. He wont grow up overnight. It takes alot of time for boys to mature some being 30 and still dumb as hell...You need to do whats best for the being inside of you. Thats your baby in there, and no matter how long you two were together, you wont ever love anyone not even him as much as you love that baby. It will be hard at times but you will get thru it. and in the end you will have a beautiful son or daughter and nothing else will ever matter. She or he will be your only priority. and you will live every day for that baby. I know it sounds hard and believe me it can be at times but you have got to prove that you can handle your own. I was harrased and still am about being a teenage mom but you cant let it get to you. Please remember that everything you do effects your baby..so just try to make the best decision. You need the baby to have a da-da not just a father. So good luck and take care of yourself and the baby.
2006-10-30 15:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by evil_munchgin420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well things are going to be hard. They are no matter what age you are when you have children. But if he is not going to stay with you cuz u are pregnant with his child than he is not worth being with! You need to think of you and the baby not about him. Maybe abortion is not the answer have you thought of adoption?
I wish you the best of luck and think you need to find a better man because he had a part in this too!
2006-10-30 15:54:49 · answer #4 · answered by emtff8017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure that there is really anything that you can tell him to convince him to want the baby. But I am sure that once he holds the baby for the first time and see's the baby then he will love it no matter what. You are young but you can be young and still be a great mother and do something with your life. I've seen alot of teenage moms go on to college and become something great. Just keep your head high and keep your baby!! You wont regret it!
2006-10-30 15:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by I smile because of them ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can say because his life will be over and so will yours. Trust me you need to be sure that you can financially take care of this child and not just doing it because you dont believe in abortion. Look we all make decisions in our lifes that affect each other but dont make your child suffer because of your beliefs. If you think you can give this child a good life then I wouldnt care if you were 12 but think about that are you ready for this, What will you do if all your resources run out. At 17 you cant possibly have the education to get a good job unless you were a genius and I know thats not the case because geniuses dont have time for sex they are too busy studying trying to make a good future for themselves. You also may want to think about this your boyfirnd may stay and he may go but if he does go then how with that affect your position on your child. THINK think think please! we have too many children growing up that have nothing because of the decisions their parents made without thinking it through. If you do decide to keep it then good luck dear and I mean that.
2006-10-30 16:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to say you are too young or stupid, but I will say this....I think HE is too immature. Obviously, you are making a very important, responsible decision. You do what YOU want to do. Do not worry about him. I understand that you love him, but he cannot base his love for you on your decision to keep the baby. If he feels that "his life is over", then you need to move on honey. No man should ever say that about their own child. Ultimately, the only thing YOU should worry about is YOU and YOUR baby. Hopefully your boyfriend will come around. If not, you sound like you will be a wonderful mother and provide for your baby as best you can.
2006-10-30 15:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by brandiejs1979 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you need to do what is best for both you and the baby, regardless of how your boyfriend feels. Do you have a support system around you if your boyfriend is not capable of helping you (family, friends)? If you truly feel you can raise your baby and give yourself a future then I say you've already made your decision and it doesn't make much difference what your boyfriend wants.
Just be sure that you keep your future in mind too. Your life is just as important as your baby's. If you feel you would have trouble raising him or her, there are many many childless couples who would want to make sure your baby has a loving home.
2006-10-30 16:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by Astrid79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that you should keep the baby you've said that you don't believe in abortion and he already said that even though he would prefer you to get one that he will still care for the baby finding out that your pregnant when not planned can be a huge shock but i think that things will work out for the "3" of you especially when you hold that baby in your arms for the first time good luck to you and congrats
2006-10-30 15:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only thing you can do is talk about it. Really talk about his honestly full opinion on why he wants you to get an abortion and find out why he'd feel like his life was over, then share your views. You're in a relationship so be open to his concerns as he should do for you. Then discuss what you both should do next.
Good Luck
2006-10-30 15:57:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋