This process is obsessive and takes over everything in your life! How do you maintain a healthy point of view without overwhelming yourself and your husband? By taking a break here and there? Every cycle gets worse! Please help I need some advice...
2006-10-30 07:40:41 · 9 answers · asked by honey27 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I know what you are going through. It took my husband and I 13 months to conceive our daughter, which included going through a miscarriage at 8 weeks along the way.
My advice is to chart your daily bbt (basal body temperature) to find out if and when you ovulate. You can learn how to do this at fertilityfriend.com. You can chart your temps for free and learn valuable information about ovulation and the best time for conception.
If you find that you are ovulating, then start having sex every other day about 4-5 days before you expect to ovulate until 4-5 days after your bbt chart has shown you ovulated. Sperm generally live for 2 days, so it's not necessary to have sex every day.
If you find you didn't ovulate, make an appointment with your OBGYN. There are medications, such as Clomid that can help you ovulate. Make sure to take your bbt chart with you to your OB so they can review it. Your OB may also want to run some blood work to make sure you don't have any hormone imbalances.
I don't believe you should ttc for a year before getting professional help. Many fertility problems can be detected and treated by an OB. If you OB can't figure out the problem, they can refer you to a fertility specialist. The more you educate yourself on the whole reproductive process, you will come to understand that with everything that has to be just right, it's a wonder conception happens at all.
If you can find out that there are no medical problems interferring with conception, then you can relax and take a break if it gets too much for you. Had I not gone to my OB after our 2nd unsuccessful month of ttc, I might have never conceived. I had a few medical conditions that not only prevented me from conceiving, but also from carrying a pregnancy.
We're in our 6th month ttc again. I admit I was a bit upset the beginning of this cycle, but then I decided to just enjoy my husband and daughter and not stress over ttc. I am feeling much better. Good luck to you.
2006-10-30 08:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good advice, Melissa B.! My husband and I have also been trying to conceive for the past 7 months. I agree that charting is the cheapest and effective way to learn about your cycle. I was opposed to it at first, because I thought it was a pain in the butt (it's still not fun) to remember to take my temperature every morning, and since I'm not a deep sleeper, my temps often are all screwed up. However, I did learn that I have a short luteal phase, I ovulate very late in the cycle, and sometimes, maybe not at all. This is precious info. in case you ever want to see a fertility specialist.
Oh yeah, I was obsessed about the whole ttc thing for the first five months. I was absolutely devastated every time my period came. But you know what? I got over it. Not completely, but these last two months have been a lot less intense in terms of bad moods associated with being barren. You just have to get over it. I know that sounds insensitive, and it's not meant to be, but you just have to get up one morning and tell yourself that you are sick and tired of being negative and obsessive about having a baby. The time will come when that will happen. Go to a fertility specialist, be proactive, if that makes you feel better. Case in point, my friend who now has a 2 month old daughter thought she was infertile because she couldn't conceive (she was 34) and went through a bunch of tests only to find out that she had endometriosis. Well, they did the laparascopy (a simple procedure), she conceived two months later, had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, but conceived another 2 months later, and carried it to full term. She now has a healthy little girl and all is well. Sooooo, moral of the story is, if you have the money, most cases of infertility are treatable. I have an appointment with my doc this Thursday and am looking to get a referral to see a specialist. Also, my husband is going to get a semen analysis this Thursday morning to make sure he is not the problem here. Oh yeah, your husband should definitely go get a semen analysis if he hasn't done it yet. Husbands don't like that procedure because they think it's embarassing, but believe me, it's totally necessary and the first thing your fertility doc will tell you to do anyway, so might as well have it done. Good luck to you, and please take it easy.
2006-10-30 08:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by rainyday 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could try taking a vacation...it doesn't have to be far from home, a trip to the beach or just a nice hotel somewhere during the time of the month that you are NOT fertile so it's not on the back of you r mind all the time....the other thing I would suggest if you don't already have it, is to buy the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility". It is a GREAT book, and will help you understand you cycle so that you know when is the best time to try to conceive. Because a woman is not fertile for the whole cycle (usually only a couple of days) and not all women know this , we think "the more sex i have the better the chance right" not necessarily. Buy the book, learn about your cycles and that alone will help take off some of the stress, at least you know WHEN your fertile so you can maximize those days :o) hope this was helpful.
2006-10-30 07:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by pirategirls16 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now that I've been on this "membership" for 21 months I best believe approximately TTC while I'm at dwelling. If I wish to head out, I move out and feature one or 2 beers, no have to get wasted like while I was once more youthful. I have simply attempted to experience my existence and now not believe approximately TTC external of the dwelling. That approach, while a buddy declares her being pregnant, I will also be excited for her (or fake to be, LOL). I attempted to be a well TTCer however that did not aid me turn out to be pregnant the ones months so I do just anything after which if I leave out my interval, woohoo! I could also be pregnant! So, you sound like you are doing adequate.
2016-09-01 04:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The advice that my Dr keeps giving me is don't get obsesed about it it just makes things worse. But what my husband I do is when its time to try we try to make a romantic evening of it like going out to dinner and having some wine. And if it happens it happens we are not getting to obsesive about it. If it was ment to be it will be as everyone keeps telling me.
2006-10-30 07:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by emtff8017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have more of a life then after childbirth.
Try to stay calm, think about other things, and enjoy the sex.
2006-10-30 07:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might want to take a breather...if you think and stress about it too much it will not happen..but once you stop obsessiving over it you'll get pregnant
2006-10-30 07:49:14 · answer #7 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your time will come, and it most likely will when you are not so obssesed about it....other wise you and your husband are going to be nuts
2006-10-30 08:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question! I have no idea, I am right there with you.
2006-10-30 08:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋